Motherfreakin' Cessna

In recent weeks and months, there's been a brash of similar pictures like this one making their way to Facebook.  It almost seems like people are taking any crash photos of cars and tagging them with messages to "Stop Texting" while driving.  It is a valid message, I agree, and the more people recognize the dangers, the more apt they will be to resist the temptations of texting behind the wheel.

With the exception of this photo which promptly displays a sign posted at the site of this catastrophic car wreck, how does one know for a fact that all these accidents are the result of drivers "LOLing" while driving?  I'm sure there's a whole host of different reasons.

Years ago, I almost drove into a parked car because a CD case slid off the seat and I was trying to retrieve it, because: I just had to know the name of that song that was playing.  Nowadays, people have their MP3's and satellite radio, so no need for CDs.

More recently, I did meet with a close call.  I'd just finished re-fueling my truck and got in to begin my way home.  I'd barely left the vicinity of the gas pumps, when I heard a sound reminiscent of a plastic bag rustling in a breeze.  I turned my head to the right, towards the source of the unnerving sound and discovered a dragonfly that had somehow found it's way into the cab of my Honda Ridgeline.  This thing was quite large.  Without exaggeration, I'd estimate it's size was roughly the equivalent of a Cessna airplane.  F*cking huge!! Panicked, I slammed on my brakes.  I came to a screeching halt, the car behind me had to swerve out of the way to avoid rear ending me.  F*cker was following too close anyway, probably.  I leaped out of my seat, leaving the door open behind me, stammering at the prospect of what to do next, when suddenly, as stealthy as it had entered my vehicle, it flew out again.

Luckily, it happened in the secure confines of a parking lot.  If I'd have been on the highway, travelling at speeds of 100 or 110 km (60-70mph) and that f*cker had decided to go ape shit, who knows what might have happened?  Single vehicle rollover, most likely.  Ironically, when the police investigate such accidents, they rarely surmise that an insect may have been involved...

I never had my cell phone handy, so I wasn't able to snap a photo of this life-sized dragon.... fly, but if I had, I likely would have had an accident.

Moral of the story!  Keep your windows closed when refueling your vehicle, as you never know what creatures may be lurking.  And stay in school!  Typing "LOL" just makes you looking f*cking stupid!

The F*cking Idiot Defense

I recall, about a year ago, a visit to Costco.  The parking lot there is made up of one ways.  Traffic travels in one direction to access parking, then travel in the opposite direction the next lane over to do the same.  I happened to be trolling up one of the lanes looking for a vacant spot, when I was greeted halfway down by a car travelling in the opposite direction.  I honked my horn to get the driver's attention, rolling down my window in the process.  

"You're going in the wrong direction!" I called out.  Each lane is clearly marked, so her response to my comment was completely unexpected, and pretty f*cking stupid, might I add.

"I'm from out of town," she said, "So I didn't know."

Stupidity is not a f*cking excuse.  If a person held a loaded gun up to someone and squeezed the trigger, thus shooting that someone in the face, the excuse of "I'm from out of town, so I didn't know the gun would go off..." is not valid.  Although, that being said, I wonder why more people don't try to use the "F*cking Idiot Defense" when on trial.  (*It'd be pretty entertaining to see CNN's Nancy Grace's response to this.)

Fast forward to tonight.  I just happened to catch some of the local news, which reported on the Train vs Vehicle accident that occurred south of the city.  Apparently, a couple of women, also from out of town, were travelling to a horse show in a rural community.  They were heading south when they approached a railroad which dissected the road on which they were travelling.  According to the news report, the driver never noticed the train fast approaching until it blew it's horn.  Instead of slowing to a stop, she instead opted to press down hard on the gas, in a desperate attempt to beat the train.  A stunt which her pick-up truck lost, as the train struck the rear of the box, sending the truck into the air.  As if that weren't bad enough, what I've not yet mentioned is, they had a horse trailer in-tow, which did not fair as well as the truck did.

Two horses were inside the trailer.  One, thankfully, died on impact, while the second, lived for several minutes after the accident, with broken legs and in, no doubt, agonizing pain.  It's one thing to put your own safety at risk for an unbelievably stupid stunt, but when you put others, is just blatantly insane.  The horses, according to the news reporter, were described as "best friends", "pets", and "family members".  The combined value of the two horses approach $100K.

I'm no advocate for horses.  I don't find them to be the beautiful creatures that everyone touts them to be, but at the same time, they are living creatures that deserve to expire in a more gracious and graceful manner.

It was mentioned that "unfamiliarity with the area" may have been a factor in the accident, but before the news report concluded, the camera flashed on the railroad crossing sign, which also sported a stop sign, similar to the one pictured above.  So I question the "unfamiliarity with the area" defense.  No matter where you go in this country, the signs pretty much all look alike.  Even the ones in Quebec, which are obscured with that f*cked up language of french, are the same.  This is why they use different shapes and illustrations on the signs.  I would even dare to go as far as to say, anywhere in the world, the signs are pretty much alike.  So once more, being from out of town isn't a valid excuse, here.  I hope that the RCMP who are investigating the incident, throws every fathomable charge at the driver.  The "F*cking Idiot Defense" should not play a factor in her escaping prosecution.