When we are young, we're fearless. Not feat seems too daunting, no outcome too dangerous or frightening. As kids, we may be afraid of what may be lurking in the shadows of our closets or creeping about under our beds, but in real life, outside, we're braver than the most courageous knight.
In high school, I recall having a healthy respect for the ski slope of our nearby Mount Blackstrap. In comparison to the Rockies which tower over Western Canada, Blackstrap was a mere gopher hill, but gravity is gravity. Crashing on a pair of skis is going to hurt, no matter what location you may be at the time. However, there were small children visiting the ski hill that day, and while I, personally, was taking great caution in moving down the slopes, careful not to fall, yet again, my efforts were quite frivolous compared to the hoards of screaming and laughing children, streaking past me in a flash, sans ski poles. Without trying, their very existence mocked me and my need for careful circumspection.
Fearless.
In high school, I recall having a healthy respect for the ski slope of our nearby Mount Blackstrap. In comparison to the Rockies which tower over Western Canada, Blackstrap was a mere gopher hill, but gravity is gravity. Crashing on a pair of skis is going to hurt, no matter what location you may be at the time. However, there were small children visiting the ski hill that day, and while I, personally, was taking great caution in moving down the slopes, careful not to fall, yet again, my efforts were quite frivolous compared to the hoards of screaming and laughing children, streaking past me in a flash, sans ski poles. Without trying, their very existence mocked me and my need for careful circumspection.
Fearless.
I used to be fearless in other ways. One example would be my ability to overcome hot 'n' spicy foods. Once upon a time, I attended a function where hot buffalo wings were served. They were especially hot, but I was able to devour them with the greatest of ease. While other people were panicking, searching out cold beverages to sooth their burning mouths and tissue to wipe the tears from their eyes, I sat back and mocked their inferiority with great disdain.
As time passed by, over the years, my tolerance for such spicy foods has fallen by the wayside. No longer can I mock those affected by the extreme temperatures, but instead, have become the one who is mocked. I ordered the "Pansy Wings" one night at a local watering hole, after work. The people mocked me at the absurdity that I would purchase something so undaring and weak. The ridiculing I got when I placed my order fell by the wayside compared to the teasing I received when they 'pansy wings' arrived and they affected me in a negative way, equal to that, if I would have received something much more spicy. My eyes grew big, red and teary, while my lips got fat and swollen. I shrugged off every poke and prod with every sniffle of my runny nose. To this day, I'm fairly certain the cook read "pansy wings" on the order ticket, then thought it funny to give me the "Suicide Wings", they were THAT hot!
As time passed by, over the years, my tolerance for such spicy foods has fallen by the wayside. No longer can I mock those affected by the extreme temperatures, but instead, have become the one who is mocked. I ordered the "Pansy Wings" one night at a local watering hole, after work. The people mocked me at the absurdity that I would purchase something so undaring and weak. The ridiculing I got when I placed my order fell by the wayside compared to the teasing I received when they 'pansy wings' arrived and they affected me in a negative way, equal to that, if I would have received something much more spicy. My eyes grew big, red and teary, while my lips got fat and swollen. I shrugged off every poke and prod with every sniffle of my runny nose. To this day, I'm fairly certain the cook read "pansy wings" on the order ticket, then thought it funny to give me the "Suicide Wings", they were THAT hot!
I have dabbled some, when it comes to spicy foods, but I don't go overboard. When I do, I suffer such indigestion, that I swear death would be an improvement. Of the foods I have been able to consume without much suffering, includes some chili con carne, which may have some heat to it, but nothing over the top. Another snack I've been able to endure are jalapeno poppers. The hollowed out pepper filled with cream cheese and lightly breaded. Once in a blue moon, I'll bite into one that is unbelievably hot, but more times than not, they're pretty tame. The same goes for the light rolls also known as 'antojitos'. I've had them in the past, and while they do contain ingredients of a tempered nature, the cream cheese in them have always been able to stave off the heat.
Fast forward to this evening. Following the Norm MacDonald comedy show, myself and a friend, decided to go for a beverage and a snack. I'd not eaten since before noon, so I was famished. I perused over the menu and decided on a pulled pork poutine and an order of antojitos. The poutine was fine, despite the pulled pork having the consistency of meat that sat under a heat lamp since late morning. The antojitos, on the other hand.... Jesus Christ.., let me tell you. Hotter than a motherf**ker. I ate only one piece out of the five that were presented on the plate and the scorching heat was nearly unbearable. Every passing moment, for me, was more uncomfortable than the preceding one. Every inch burned like a wildfire as it passed down my esophagus to my stomach. It blazed the entire route like Marty McFly's DeLorean time machine.
That was it. I'd had enough. I asked the waitress to box it up, adding that it was much to hot for me to finish. Kind as she was, the waitress spoke to her supervisor and had it deleted from my bill. She still boxed it up for me, but I handed it off to my friend, whose constitution with spicy foods is much better than my own.
I remember when I was invincible, but sadly those days are long gone. It's said with age, comes wisdom. Funny thing is... I don't feel any wiser.
Fast forward to this evening. Following the Norm MacDonald comedy show, myself and a friend, decided to go for a beverage and a snack. I'd not eaten since before noon, so I was famished. I perused over the menu and decided on a pulled pork poutine and an order of antojitos. The poutine was fine, despite the pulled pork having the consistency of meat that sat under a heat lamp since late morning. The antojitos, on the other hand.... Jesus Christ.., let me tell you. Hotter than a motherf**ker. I ate only one piece out of the five that were presented on the plate and the scorching heat was nearly unbearable. Every passing moment, for me, was more uncomfortable than the preceding one. Every inch burned like a wildfire as it passed down my esophagus to my stomach. It blazed the entire route like Marty McFly's DeLorean time machine.
That was it. I'd had enough. I asked the waitress to box it up, adding that it was much to hot for me to finish. Kind as she was, the waitress spoke to her supervisor and had it deleted from my bill. She still boxed it up for me, but I handed it off to my friend, whose constitution with spicy foods is much better than my own.
I remember when I was invincible, but sadly those days are long gone. It's said with age, comes wisdom. Funny thing is... I don't feel any wiser.
