Fender Bender

On my home from work tonight, I witnessed the aftermath of a traffic accident. It was what would ideally be referred to as a "fender-bender". The two vehicles involved were a mid-90's Ford Mustang and a raised Ford 4x4 truck, similar in size to the Dodge at the right.

It's unfair to categorize the accident as a "fender-bender" as (1) the Mustang was impacted from the rear; and (2) the front bumper of the four-wheel drive was well above the trunk lid of the car it'd hit.

I was parked at a traffic light, speculating on what may have caused the incident, as I watched the two parties assess the damages. I suppose, in all fairness, the guy in the 4x4 quite likely never seen the small Mustang in front of it, waiting for an opening to merge into in the rush hour traffic. The guy behind the wheel of the big-rig, was probably looking to his left, with the same mission in mind. That and the elevation of his cab, the view would've been blocked.

Seems innocent enough, but I have to wonder. Being that we all reside in Saskatchewan, where there are few threatening hills and practically no mountains, what the f*ck is the need to have such a gargantuan vehicle?

The joke about Saskatchewan says, "if your dog runs away, the land is so flat that you could watch him for three days". A popular misconception for this province. In fact many new visitors are surprised by the amount of foliage and hilly slopes that we have here. Granted it's not that way everywhere. But for the slopes and valley's we do have, having a raised 4-wheel drive vehicle like this seems to be more than just overkill. Having a 4x4 of this magnitude is just another way to measure your douchiness.

I watched an episode of South Park last week entitled "The F-word". The F-word in question, was not f*ck, but f*ggot. They used the word not to describe people of the gay persuasion, but of all the (in the story) bikers who needlessly roar through town making unnecessarily loud noise and ruining life for all those who are forced to listen to it. I think the same goes for these idiots who build these outrageously large 4x4's.

If you live on flat-land, you don't need a super-sized 4x4. My dad used to say he'd never get a 4-wheel drive, because he lived in Saskatchewan. You just don't need it. I disagree with this credo, as the added traction is handy to have in a pinch. The truck I drive now, is a four-wheel drive, only it's a part-time four-wheel drive. The computer controls when to initiate the extra wheels, and when to shut it down. But I would never dream of building my Ridgeline up into one of these douchy 4x4's. Never ever and a day.

As for those who say that they are 4x4 enthusiasts and like to hit the trails on weekends... I don't f*ckin' understand these guys either. They'll go out on the weekend, battle against getting bogged out and stuck in mud, trees, and boulders. They'll burn off a tank or two of gas, then piss and moan about how expensive gas is getting. You guys are f*cked! Absolutely f*cked!

Unless you're competing in a stadium, backed by corporate sponsers and performing to a screaming & cheering crowd who have fist fulls of your memorabilia, then you don't need monster tires on your truck. You are a poser and therefore a f*ck-head.

There ya go! 'Nuff said. That's my brain-matter on that subject. Have a nice day!