Whack-F*ck!!

Whack-f*ck [WAK fuk]  whack-f*cking;  noun, verb - 1. A term associated with the game of golf, usually involving the "whacking" of the golf ball from the tee-off box, resulting in the ball either slicing or shanking, ultimately flying in any direction other than towards the intended target, and the player crying out an expletive, vulgar in nature.  Example of use:  WHACK!  "F*CK!!!"

Today was the first real day that I could get out and shoot a round of golf.  I haven't had a chance to go for a couple of years, so needless to say, I was a little rusty.

I invited my mom, who enjoys the game, the other day, but we weren't able to go until this afternoon.  She invited her neighbour to join us, and despite her own concerns about cobwebs on her abilities, she still managed to clobber both my mother and I.  Not by very much, however.

Although my score was tragic, it was my short game that suffered, not my teeing off.  Thankfully, I only had a couple that could be considered "whack-f*ck's".  The rest were pretty good, for me, getting me within striking distance of the green and/or pin, in most cases.  Albeit, it wasn't a formal course that we attended, instead opting for the one south of Saskatoon, that the farmer guy had built for his wife, a few years back.  I can't recall the name, but for $7 per 9-hole round, who can argue?

It was a nice day and a good excuse to get out of the house.  I got some much need exercise and some fresh air.  I dusted the cobwebs off a terrible game of golf, but in all honesty, I've never really been that good at it anyway.  The doctor thinks I should be getting more exercise, and what better way than to chase down a little white dimpled ball?  Even  though my game was rusty, somewhat, I did manage to keep my original ball for most of the day, losing it only after teeing off on the seventh hole.  I got lots of lift, but the wind took it into the trees and it was lost forever.  I did salvage someone else's lost ball during my hunt, so it wasn't a complete loss.

Something else I lost on that hunt, however, was the sight in my right eye.  Temporarily, mind you, but it f*cking hurt, nonetheless.  I was walking along the treeline, when I felt a sharp pain in my right eye, accompanied by a "wallop" sound.  Some sort of winged beetle, out in the afternoon sun, decided to end it's life by burying itself deep into my f*cking eye.  For a few moments, I thought I was going to have to seek medical assistance, it hurt so bad.  Luckily, my mom's concern was only on where her ball was lying and not on the condition of her eldest child's well-being.  She pulled off a five, while I managed to regain sight in my eye.  Still hurts a little now, though...

Today was Earth Day.  I don't know what all that entails.  Getting out and enjoying the environment, I guess.  Not polluting the atmosphere with toxins and shit.  I drove my truck out to the golf course.  It was the only way to transport three sets of golf clubs.  But I got lots of fresh air and sunshine... and a f*ckin' bug in my eye.  Isn't Mother Nature wonderful?

HAPPY EARTH DAY, HIPPIES!!!!