Years ago, I came up with an idea about creating artificial plants that included dead and dying leaves. After all, when all the leaves look prim and proper, then of course the plant is going to look phony. However, when mowing the lawn in my back yard, I am forever picking up leaves from my neighbours plants. My neighbour's FAKE plants. I can't understand how a plant which is primarily made up of plastic and fabric, could possibly lose it's leaves. Yet here I am. Bending over and removing plastic material from my lawn and tossing it over the rear fence, back into their yard.
Another factor that I find bothersome about tackling yard work, is the electric cord for my mower. I have a sizeable yard and therefore require a lengthy extension cord. So there's that constant necessity of swinging the cord to the side, practically throwing my arm out of joint in the process. Not to mention, the retarded fashion that my yard is cut up, what with a duo of shrubs bisecting the yard.
The worst thing about doing yard work, though, is my allergies. I am extremely allergic to grass. Freshly cut grass. During the summer months, I'm unable to open my windows for the fear of dusty grass remnants wafting into my house, thus causing extreme discomfort, health-wise. And despite wearing a dust mask, which works in most cases, it does not always do so. Today, in fact, by the end of the tedious task, my eyes were swelled shut and I had loads of "material" flowing from my nostrils. I was in terrible disarray. While in the garage, I managed to smoke my head two or three times before I finally retired for the day.
I had originally planned on doing this dastardly task yesterday, but opted to remain inside instead. My neighbour to the north of me was out and about, mowing his lawn, so I'd have really been up shit creek. I waited until today, instead and thank goodness I did. My neighbour T__, to the south of me, was about to begin his own bout of yard work, when I came into the front yard with mower in tow and a big white mask over my face.
"You look like you're ready to perform surgery." he joked.
"I wish." I replied, adding that I was deathly allergic to grass and the affects that it has on me.
"That's terrible." he responded, "What happens to you?" I explained the extreme occurrences, and that's when he offered up the services of his daughters.
"They can swing by and mow your lawn when they do ours." he explained. "And they'll do it for $10."
AWESOME!!! I f*cking hate yard work and would gladly pay someone $10 a week to do it for me. That is a sweet deal. It looks, to me, like screwing the pooch this weekend, really paid off. Yay!
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