I have a friend who used to be a professional Rock, Paper, Scissors athlete. He was ranked in the Top Five Worldwide and better than that in just North America. He was very successful, making tons of cash with endorsement deals and alike, then all at once, his luck ran out and it all slipped away. Flushed down the proverbial toilet faster than an unwanted turd. Public opinion's "rock" trumped his "scissors".
What struck him down in his prime? Was it the constant rumours of steroid abuse? He, of course, denied all the accusations and passed every test thrown his way. No. It was the booze and the whores. The wrong kind of women can get a man in trouble, especially a guy riding high on the successful wings of the World Series of Paper, Rock, Scissors. A man left with no moral support, but for those left way back at home, is apt to do some foolish things. I've done a great many stupid thing, and I've not had the luck of an athletic career or a huge bank roll to feed my foolishness. All my stupidity has been done for free. However, I'm straying from the topic, for which I apologize.
Despite his short-comings, he's learned many, albeit harsh, life-lessons and has grown to be a much better person, both mentally and spiritually, from it. Today, he can be found coaching young up-and-comers in the strategy game play that is Paper, Rock, Scissors. It is his vast experience in this sport that I found comfort in exploring one of the greatest mysteries bestowed upon this world: How the f*ck does paper beat rock?!?
Paper doesn't hurt unless you have an actual newspaper press roll, which I've learned weighs in at about a metric ton. That roughly translates out to about a small sedan, which I've had the displeasure of rolling over my foot, once upon a time. Not a pleasant experience, let me tell you. Then again, I'm reminded of a particular skit from the first Jackass movie, in which many of the guys were volunteering to get paper cuts between their toes, fingers and even a mouth or two. In my experience as a receiver of products from abroad, some paper can slice you open like a f*cking shiv, and that my friends, hurts even more than a Chevy Cavalier running over my foot.
Paper, however, cannot cut through a frickin' rock. Not even that shitty paper from India and China that cut me open so often. So once more, I'm left asking myself: How the f*ck does paper beat rock?
What struck him down in his prime? Was it the constant rumours of steroid abuse? He, of course, denied all the accusations and passed every test thrown his way. No. It was the booze and the whores. The wrong kind of women can get a man in trouble, especially a guy riding high on the successful wings of the World Series of Paper, Rock, Scissors. A man left with no moral support, but for those left way back at home, is apt to do some foolish things. I've done a great many stupid thing, and I've not had the luck of an athletic career or a huge bank roll to feed my foolishness. All my stupidity has been done for free. However, I'm straying from the topic, for which I apologize.
Despite his short-comings, he's learned many, albeit harsh, life-lessons and has grown to be a much better person, both mentally and spiritually, from it. Today, he can be found coaching young up-and-comers in the strategy game play that is Paper, Rock, Scissors. It is his vast experience in this sport that I found comfort in exploring one of the greatest mysteries bestowed upon this world: How the f*ck does paper beat rock?!?
Paper doesn't hurt unless you have an actual newspaper press roll, which I've learned weighs in at about a metric ton. That roughly translates out to about a small sedan, which I've had the displeasure of rolling over my foot, once upon a time. Not a pleasant experience, let me tell you. Then again, I'm reminded of a particular skit from the first Jackass movie, in which many of the guys were volunteering to get paper cuts between their toes, fingers and even a mouth or two. In my experience as a receiver of products from abroad, some paper can slice you open like a f*cking shiv, and that my friends, hurts even more than a Chevy Cavalier running over my foot.
Paper, however, cannot cut through a frickin' rock. Not even that shitty paper from India and China that cut me open so often. So once more, I'm left asking myself: How the f*ck does paper beat rock?
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