The Turtle

A car speeds down a deserted highway in the twilight hours of the night. The lone occupant, his grasp tightly fixed on the wheel, attentively scans the distance illuminated by his headlamps for trouble. There's nothing out there. Nothing for miles. Just as he passes through a valley, the expanse shrouded by overgrowth, his attention is distracted by flashing lights in his rear view mirror.

Begrudgingly, the man slows to a stop on the shoulder.  He knows that he's guilty, but prays for leniency.  Despite being the sole occupant of the road that night, the officer issues him a ticket anyway.

A debate erupted on Twitter, last night.  Local LEOs posted a warning on Twitter, announcing where they had a speed trap and advocated that people slow down and put away their handheld devices.  It's a courtesy that law enforcement does not have to do.  Personally, I think it's nice, but for others, this seems to be an apple box for them to stand upon and complain.

The first comment was from a man, critical of the practices of Traffic Enforcement.  He felt that police shouldn't be hidden when they bust people for speeding.  The officer who monitors the Twitter feed, answered his question, stating that people tend to only slow when they see a police presence.  Adding that people should slow down and drive the speed limit all the time.

This is when I chimed in with my two cents worth.  "I used to speed a lot (A LOT) & I got a lot of tickets (A LOT). Since "growing up" (& smartening up) I don't get as many (IF ANY) tickets." I then added a tweet which read: "If people would stop driving like idiots, they won't get tickets."

The two comments were "liked" by the SPS Traffic Unit account.  Nobody else "liked" my comments.  Hashtag: Truth Hurts, I guess. A heated exchange followed between myself, advocating for the police and their tactics, whilst the other fellow was argumentative.  Eventually, his comments became personal and while I normally enjoy stringing stupid people along on Twitter, I blocked the fool.

I have definitive difficulty in understanding why people would be so upset. If you're guilty of exceeding the speed limit, accept it and move on.  My driving history since the age of sixteen is riddled with speeding tickets.  I never complained once about receiving any of them, because I was guilty. I've matured a lot in the time, since.  I still speed, from time-to-time, and I still get caught, from time-to-time.  No complaints.

The police don't pull people over because they think, "How can I be a dick, today?"  The police enforce the speed limits as a precaution of safety.  I'm convinced that if we lived in a world where people were able to speed and not have any accidents as a result, the speed limits would be crazy fast.  Unfortunately, people can't drive fast without fault.  Crashing and damaging property or killing themselves or those around them.  Hell.  People can barely drive the speed limit without incident.  If everyone slows down. Does the speed limit. Keeps both hands on the wheel, keeps their cell phones in their pockets and purses.  Everyone will get to where they need to go in a timely fashion.  It really IS as simple as that.

Even now, I'm bantering back and forth with another critic of speed traps, on Twitter.  The logic eludes me.  By her own admission, she doesn't speed, herself, therefore her argument is unwarranted. The police are out there, wearing reflective vests that glow in the daytime, I might add, in an attempt to slow people down for their own safety and being criticized for it.  The police service often will tweet out the locations where they're set up, but apparently because they don't broadcast these facts over the radio and TV for those without Twitter (or the forethought to receive instant notifications), they feel entrapped.

I made the comment to that fellow, last night: If people stopped driving like idiots, they won't get tickets.  He responded with: You must be fun at parties.

I didn't understand to validity of that comment, but replied anyway: I'm a hoot!  I just don't like being around idiots. They give me migraines.

"You probably don't get invited to parties." he retorted.
"I get invited," I wrote, restating that 'idiots give me migraines', then added, "You're giving me a migraine."  I like turning stuff like that into a joke, even if I'm the only one who laughs...

I blocked him after that.

There's a saying: Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.  I've been trying to make a similar rhyme that has to do with speeding, but can't find the words to rhyme.  The struggle is ongoing.

I recall one time in my fleeting youth, when I was speeding along a street at about one o'clock in the morning. I was going at a pretty good clip, when I noticed a police car at an intersection. I knew I was busted and immediately pulled over to the side of the road, patiently awaiting the police car to catch up. It took longer than expected and they seemed to doddle as they approached my car. The two officers seemed bewildered and asked why I had stopped.  I explained to them that I was speeding and was obviously caught. "We had no intention of stopping you, but got curious when you pulled over." They chuckled and let me off with a warning.

I remember reading a magazine story about Sammy Hagar.  He was stopped for speeding in a similar scenario to that which I wrote at the top of this blog.  He said in the time that it took the officer to write out the ticket for him, that he had penned the lyrics for the song that would eventually become his biggest hit. He took that bad situation and gave it a positive spin.  I'm not saying that the drivers of my fair city or the towns and hamlets that surround us all, have the foresight to turn an excessive speed violation into a top ten hit, but by slowing down they better ensure that they'll return home to rock out with their families.