Today presented itself with a situation where I found myself wishing I had a girlfriend. These occasions happen frequently and often in situations that don't necessarily garner feelings of loneliness or anything like that. Instead, I often find myself wishing for a sweetheart for reasons other than romance. It's usually a situation where I find myself at a disadvantage and wish for a significant other to step up and help a guy out. Today presented a situation very much like that. I required some assistance, even though, in the end it turned out that I faired alright all on my own.
My sister is a hair stylist. She used to cut my hair regularly, but in recent years, she's been dialing back how often she works and therefore her time is much more precious and dedicated to her long list of cliental, leaving me with a mop-top, so to speak. It was during one of those hiatus' where I let my hair grow out, quite lengthy. I felt alright with the longer lochs, but when my hair began to thin, it looked like I had a skullet (that's a mullet that bald guys grow ~ not sexy at all). After getting fit in for an "emergency" cut, I had my sister shave my head bald. Following that impromptu appointment, I purchased my own set of clippers and set to shaving my own cranium every few months. Today happened to be that day.
I always find it difficult to shave the back of my head. I duck my head in close to the bathroom mirror, opening the medicine cabinet on the side, as much as I can to view as much of my head as I can. There are some blind spots where I rely on my sense of touch to feel whether I need to run the area over again with the clippers. "Man, I wish I had a girlfriend to help me with this." I muttered aloud.
Granted, there are other benefits to having a girlfriend. There's the bouts of loneliness where another person would be a blessing. Having the ability to venture out on the town for a nice meal or take in a show or play. Do a lot of the unique couples experiences that I hear about from my friends. It'd be nice to make memories with another soul that feels about me the same way I do about them. That's all fine and good, so then my brain, the way it works, then places these fictitious females in different roles that would benefit me beyond just an emotional crutch.
When I'm hurt or injured, it would be a glorious blessing to have a partner who was a physiotherapist. Help me heal up some of these nagging injuries in a way where I needn't attend inconvenient appointments. My last physiotherapist, Elissa, would have filled that vacancy nicely. She's a free spirit and smart as a whip. Always laughing at my goofiness, but alas, she's in a relationship. With a chubby little dude, so my weight would not have been a roadblock. 😄
A girl with mechanical skills would have been very beneficial, recently, when I was struggling to get my Mustang running and put back on the streets after a nine year absence. It would have been a true blessing to have my girl push me aside and say, "No worries, baby. I got this." To be honest, that's probably why I like Megan Fox. She probably, in reality, doesn't know dick-all about cars, but that one scene in Transformers, was all the convincing I needed. Even if she, my fictitious girlfriend, if she had a father or a brother who could do mechanical shit, that would have been really cool, too, although in my mind, the conversation went a lot different.
"Thank you, sir, for helping me out with this. I wish I knew something about fixing cars, but..."
"Hey. No problem. You make my little girl very happy, so I don't mind helping you out with this kind of stuff." My faux girlfriend's dad would say to me, "But..., if you ever hurt my little girl, no one will ever find the body."
😨 Gulp. That fantasy took a sharp turn for the worst.
I always thought having a girlfriend who was a cop would be really hot, too. Someone rough and tough on the street, but soft and warm the moment she comes home and slips into a pair of baggy sweats or whatever. Plus, she'd have handcuffs. I'll stop there. No need to elaborate on that. 😂
The girlfriend sitch is pretty f*cking bleak. I have no idea where people meet anymore and even if I did, I lack the self-confidence to approach anyone, anyway. Even the girlfriends and hook-ups I've had, I don't have a clue how I managed to succeed in those situations. I know alcohol was a factor in a couple, but I really don't know how I charmed the others. 🤔 Even if I were to recall how to attract a lovely PYT (Pretty Young Thing), I don't have much to offer, anyway. My body is broken. My personality, from what I've learned as of late, leaves people hating me. I know of two friends, right this minute, who's significant others dislike me greatly. I'm told it's my personality. That hurts, mostly because I don't act like the real me around anyone, because, if we're being honest, I don't even like me. I guess that's another red flag. How can I love someone else, when I hate myself? No use bringing anyone into this shit situation until I get my own bullshit figured out.
I guess I'm just destined to be alone. At least until I figure out why I'm such a piece of shit. I don't want to bring a lovely young miss into my life, only to break her heart and have some angry father or brother come brutalize me then hide the body so no one would ever find it. 😬
I don't know when or why my life got so messed up, but the girlfriend sitch is currently nil and that's how it has to be, I guess, but man... Sometimes... Sometimes, I just wanna go out and dance.
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