Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I am not a religious person. In fact, I recently had a conversation with a therapist I've been seeing since Monkey passed away and we came to the same conclusion, more or less. She's helped me a lot over the past few months. She's helped me through the grief and loss I was feeling then on into the stresses I've experienced through work and life in general. I know I show a air of confidence and accomplishment, but down deep, behind the face paint, I am a wreck. That, however, is not the subject of this blog today.
It's been a long while since recording my thoughts and feelings in blog form. Truthfully, I've not been all that inspired to share my thoughts on many subjects. Plus given my constraints on my memory, many of the times that I am inspired to write, I forget by the time I am at home and those fleeting thoughts are lost to the ether.
In recent times, I've been plagued, in a good way, by the number 1129. I like this number as it is my birthdate, November 29th. But the context that I often see it is not on a calendar, but in signs or clocks or just our of the blue. It's inexplicable, but a number of years ago, my sister was reading some kind of journal on numerology and so I asked her what or why I kept seeing this number, 1129? She looked through her book and returned with the answer that it was my guiding angel. That when times were tough for me, my guiding angel would communicate to me using that significant number, ensuring me that everything would be okay and that I was in the right place at that particular time. I found reassurance in that explanation and I'd be lying if I said that was never the case. It seems like I see the number 1129 whenever I get highly agitated or experience an anxious moment. Just seeing that number puts my mind and my heart at ease. I know not what my guiding angel's real name is, but I often will communicate with it using the name "1129". Thanking it for it's reassurance. It makes me feel safe and comfortable. When things go bad and I feel overwhelmed, I'll see that number and know that I'm on the right path. I was relieved yesterday when something terrible had occurred. That is what this blog is about, today.
For years, I've been depending on my cellphone to wake me up in the morning. I can set it to the precise minute and it awakens me with a soothing melody rather than a harsh jolting sound that the alarm clock makes that is an abrasive unmerciful racket that jars one awake from an otherwise peaceful relaxing sleep. I much prefer the sound of a sweet melody that wakes me up like a warm hug from a loved one and would assume that many people do also. Yesterday morning, however, I experienced neither of those sounds. Instead, my alarm was somehow turned off completely and I was awoken by one of my cats, Cheddar, at a quarter past five in the morning. I never turned the alarm off myself, as I strategically have my phone halfway across the room. In order to turn the alarm off, I would have to get up out of bed, walk over to my phone. Swipe to unlock then find the app. Press and physically press the on/off button to shut off the alarm. Then back out of everything, lay it back on the table and walk back to bed. As terrible as my memory is, I'm afraid I would remember doing that entire sequence of events.
I jumped out of bed in a panic. A quarter past five in the morning, the precise time when I would normally be leaving my house for work. That early in the morning, there is little to no traffic so getting across town to work is easily accomplished. Now factoring in that I need to get dressed, feed the boys, take my menagerie of medications and rush out the door, is putting a hell of a strain on things.
I had called the dispatch right away expressing that I would be a few minutes late and after performing my morning rituals with great haste, I managed to arrive at work just four minutes overdue. Unfortunately, the practice at my work is that if failure to arrive on time occurs, then my work, my bus route, goes to someone else. Therefore I was given a different piece of work. A different bus route to drive yesterday. And given that I'm currently working half days because of a shoulder injury, it would just be that single work piece in the morning.
It was kind of refreshing to drive a different route, if I'm being honest. A pleasant break from the norm. Plus, I got to drive one of the articulating buses, which is one of those long sixty foot buses that bend in the middle. Intimidating to the those who can be easily overwhelmed, in all actuality, I find them much easier to drive than the standard forty foot buses. I caught a ride from another bus driver who was headed to the university where I had to take over the bus on the route, and the driver had his radio on the Supervisors' channel. That's when I heard that Warman Road, one of the main streets that my normal route is on, was closed due to construction and was impassible. The necessary detour that was required to circumvent the blocked street sounded terrible and would add many minutes of tardiness to the scheduling of the route. It sounded terrible and highly stressful. I could hear the agitation and frenzy in their voice and it was at that moment that I was truly thankful to not be driving my normal route, and also when I began suspecting some sort of divine intervention. I thought, "What if?" What if 1129 had stepped in that morning, manipulating my phone just enough to turn the alarm off, thus forcing me to be late, forcing me on a different route as a result an ultimately saving me from a potential peril. An unfortunate crash, a terrible injury or much much worse?
I do not believe in coincidences. I never have and don't truly believe that it exists. I believe only in cause and effect and maybe the odd fluke peppered in once in a while. So while the driver who took over my route that morning wasn't caught in a situation where they might have been injured or worse, there's no guarantee that if I were in their place that maybe my fate would not be as fortunate? What if my alarm had gone off as usual and I arrived at work to take my bus out only to be killed at some point during the morning? It could happen. There are no "good drivers" anymore, but there's no way of knowing for sure. However, when you factor in that the alarm had failed in a basically impossible manner, one can't help but think of some kind of divine intervention or fluke to have occurred.
I had a pleasant experience driving that route and when I was finished, I made my way back across town to retrieve my truck and resume the rest of my day. Ironically, when I started my truck, the clock read 11:29 on the information screen. As soon as I saw that I knew that, despite my lack of faith in spirituality and the gospel, my strong belief in my guardian angel overrided the situation and further convinced me of the existence of 1129, my guardian who protects and guides me through this life.
I don't know what to make of yesterday. It was different, but seemed refreshing after all is said and done. I'm still here. I'm still as healthy as I was the day before. I am still a cat-daddy to two wonderful and interesting boys and they, Butters and Cheddar, weren't abruptly orphaned.
When I was at the convenience store on Campus, where my route takes me, I went to perform my usual ritual of buying the $21 Triple Pack that I normally purchase, only this time the light hit the $25 Classic Pack that includes tickets for the Western lotteries. I don't usually buy those, for whatever reason, opting for the larger jackpots. I don't know if I was victorious on any of those additional tickets and likely won't find out for a couple months as I seem to allow my ticket purchases to compound and pile up before I take them to be checked and cashed in.
For now, I am comfortable and content. I survived whatever fate had instore for me on September 18th, 2026. I used to allow a lot of shit to get me down and for a long time I promoted the idea of: "Praise The Positive". After Monkey died in October of last year, I was lost. I failed to praise anything, let alone positivity. Only recently, I feel that I've been steered back on track. Moseying down the right path, heading toward my destiny with a trusted presence, 1129, by my side. I feel truly blessed. I wish you all who took the time to read this belated blog, many blessings as well. All the best.
