I love simplicity. Why over complicate things, when just as much can be accomplished simply by pointing and clicking? Lock in a cable, press a key and viola! Shit just prints out. No haggling or begging for shit to work. It just does and I love it when it happens.
Sadly, things aren't as cut and dry as this. I believe people call it "progress". However, I've found that with every improvement, a level of imperfections and defects are sure to follow. Take for instance, my cell phone. I did a shit-ton of research on cell phones before I committed to the one I have and in the beginning, it was the proverbial cat's meow. That's until I got an alert from the manufactured that update software was available, strongly urging me to update. I've experienced four "improvement" updates since that day and with every upgrade, the phone f*cks up more and more. Now I can barely do anything with the phone, without alerts coming up that the programming isn't working properly.
A few years ago, I made the unfortunate decision to purchase an Apple MacBook Pro. Everyone was chiming in my ear that Apple was the way to go. The way of the future. That it was SO simple to use, that an idiot could use it without a problem. Apparently, I scaled below idiocy as I had nothing but problems in working the computer. Then again, the computer did foul up a total of four times, which equated in three new hard drives along the way before the store from whom I purchased it, finally consented to returning my money. The PC I replaced it with, has worked like a charm ever since. It's been about four years now. I did have the hard drive replaced once, I'll admit, but that was due to a virus that some dumb motherf*cker sent me under the guise of Microsoft. Not my fault.
A part of the deal when I bought the Apple, was a $99 HP printer and a Bose surround sound that I got for around $200. When I returned the Apple, I kinda forgot to return the printer and the surround sound, but still got the full credit for monies spent, so in a sense, the surround sound and printer became free.
The printer worked like a charm, and I regret ever packing it up and replacing it with a Kodak printer. I was interested in trying to do photography and figured the Kodak would do a better job. It didn't. So it sat for a couple years, as did the HP. Recently, the Kodak stopped working properly. Frustrated, I packed up the Kodak and re-hooked up the HP. Like seeing an old girlfriend, the printer seemed to gleam in the light of the office. I looked forward to reliving some of the old times when I would print off literary pieces that I'd write, like the one I'm tapping out, right now.
Tonight, I ended my procrastination of writing out some documents I need for work. The office has been hounding me to get my shit in and I don't dare show my face there again, until I have these important documents in hand. I sat down immediately after I returned home and typed up the first document. It looks pretty god damned good, considering I don't know what the f*ck I'm doing.
I set up the printer. Everything checked out. All the right lights were blinking and then... NOTHING! Not one f*cking page. I don't know anything about this computer shit, but I like simplicity. Every other time, I would open up the bay where the ink cartridges were, take them out and tap them on the desk. This usually resulted in a printed page, but not this time. "They were new cartridges, so I don't understand why it wouldn't work." I thought to myself, actually scratching my head in the process. I shrugged my shoulders and ran off to the nearby computer shop, returning twenty minutes later with a new cartridge in hand. I unwrapped it and placed it in the now vacant slot.
The printer hummed and gaffed for a moment then printed out a pristine test page. I was all set. I clicked 'print' and..... NOTHING!! Nada. Zilch. Not a single f*cking groan or growl. Just a click of the ink tray resetting. I pressed 'print' again and nothing. I went through the process six more times and STILL nothing!!
The valuable lesson I learned tonight was: If you're going to angrily throw a printer, do it outside because the glass is hard as f*ck to pick out of the carpet. I must have about twenty-three minuscule shards of glass stuck in my hands and fingers and as tiny as they are, they all hurt like they're butcher knives. My hands were stained crimson red as I picked up every last morsel of glass, before running my vacuum over the rug. I'm not proud of losing my temper. In fact, it's been a long long... long time since I've lost my temper to this magnitude.
I also learned, tonight, when I returned to the computer store, this time to purchase a new printer, that the ink, if left for a lengthy period of time, sometimes with thicken and gum up the printer head, which results in the need to replace the printer. That would've been a handy tidbit to know before blowing $26 on a f*cking ink cartridge.
Long story short (I know. Too late!) I replaced my shitty (now) broken HP printer with a Samsung laser printer. The cartridges will cost a f*ck of a lot more, but the fella there explained that because it's powder, it can sit for a long period of time and STILL (f*cking) work. *He didn't use the F-word, but I would've respected him if he had.
I own a Samsung TV. A Samsung 3D Bluray player and a Samsung refrigerator. Why not add a Samsung laser printer into the mix. After the phone fiasco, I'm determined to replace it with a Samsung, as well. I'm keeping the shit simple.
(The printer was regular $600, but it had a sale tag on it for $199.99. At the register, I learned that the sale was no longer in affect, but they still gave it to me for the $200. After a shitty loser of a day, it's nice to have a WIN!!)
