Fat Lip

 

I'm not a fan of winter and never have been really.  Some folks look forward to the fall season, followed by winter.  My nephews, especially, as the ice skates come out and they play hockey in the back yard.  They play hockey all year 'round, but building happy memories of skating in small circles and putting that puck in the net, that is just so much more appealing.  I guess if I had something special like that to look forward to, my feelings about winter would be different.

My reason for disliking winter go way beyond my playing hockey outside.  In fact, I've never laced up a pair of skates solely for the purpose of playing any kind of winter sport, let alone hockey in my own backyard.

One of the many attributes that winter provides, besides locking up all my joints, is my lips.  My bottom lip, usually, although the top has been known to act up.  I rarely go outside, anymore, for reasons besides necessity.  For instance, you'll probably not find me standing at rink side, in my sister's backyard, cheering on my nephews.  I just don't like being outside in the cold.  However, when I do venture out into the subzero climate, my lips chap up.  I try to keep my face and mouth covered, but somehow my mouth chaps up.  When they do that, they crack.  Then, for some reason, because I can't leave well enough alone, my tongue gets in there and starts rubbing the hell out of the opened spot.  I guess Dr. Tongue feels it knows more than my brain.  Now the spot is irritated even more.

Meanwhile, my brain and the rest of my body, tongue and lip in tow, venture through my house, seeking out that single tube of cherry lip balm that I remember using either... Was it last year or the year before?

By some stroke of luck, I manage to locate the item, pop the cap and am surprised that it's still good and place it, immediately, upon thine own self.  The coolness of the medicated stick immediately brings some relief to the sore area.

The days that follow, remain up in the air.  Either the swelling will go down and I can carry on with life as I know it or the spot is going to be continually irritated by my stubborn tongue.  It's really a crapshoot after that.

Even now, my bottom lip split about a week ago.  I managed to control the irritation with chap stick, but I don't always remember to take it with me when I venture away from my house.  It's an ongoing fight. 

The Inside Out Umbrella

Winter is encroaching upon us.  The temperatures dipping south of zero degrees Celsius, our mornings we're greeted with frosty windshields and sheer winds.  This morning was warmer than it has been, but the normally crisp mornings was replaced with a cold drizzle, mixed with periods of sleet and snow.

I was within the comforts of my warm vehicle, hot air blowing on the windshield and encompassing my face.  As I drove down the grey-coloured street, I glanced to my right, noticing a lone monstrous figure slowly cruising westward on the sidewalk.  Obviously too obese to make the trek on foot, they opted instead to do so using a motorized scooter.  In an attempt to reduce the soaking they would get from the weather pounding them in the face, they attempted to shield themselves with a solitary umbrella.  However, the winds, though not torrential, was still strong enough to turn their rain saving device, inside-out.

I know it's not polite or in good taste to laugh at those less fortunate than ourselves, but I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.  Perhaps if the person was stricken with a valid handicap, the odds of my laughter would have been lessened.  I don't consider obesity to be an actual handicap and therefore, I have no feeling of guilt about laughing at the absurd sight.