Thumb's Opposed!!

I'm a right-handed fellow. I bat a baseball left-handed, as do I shoot a hockey puck, but everything else is right-handed. A few years ago, I had the misfortune of tearing my left bicep. Tore it clean off the bone. During my recovery, however, I never realized how much my left arm came into play to accomplish even the most menial of tasks. It was tough, I have to admit.

Fast forward to today. While I didn't re-injure my bicep, I did manage to drive a staple into my right thumb. It's not the first time I've accomplished such a feat, and while I hope it's my last time, I doubt that it will. And you're probably wonder, just how I managed to accomplish this? I shall explain this to you.

The manager of the department I'm in at work, instructed me to "fix the staplers". In his mind, the three staplers we had on the counter, were damaged. While they were ineffective, it was not because there were any irrepairable damage to them. They were simply empty. So instead of taking a brief moment to refill them, that crazy guy had me "fix" them instead.

No problems! It's nice to be needed. So I refilled the first stapler. A nifty piece which can be a little tricky, as the staples are loaded in upside-down. I can't tell you how many people tried and failed with that stapler when we first got it in the office. The second stapler, also went off without a hitch, being reloaded rather quickly.

The last stapler though... Oy! I tell ya this. This frickin' thing is sooo frickin' old, that it looks like it came over on the Mayflower. It's sooo frickin' old, that Jesus may have used it to send out his dinner invites. I've never tried refilling this decrepit old instrument, but the instructions to do so are plainly marked on the end. Futile, were the instructions, but they were there, nonetheless.

PUSH THEN PULL, the instructions said, without really specifying what should be pushed then pulled. So while my office mate was busy conversing with one of the important folks who occupy the office area, I was grunting and groaning to myself trying to open this old stapler every which way I could, until finally a loud yelp interupted their conversation.

The two of them, simultaneously swung their heads in my direction, asking in unison if I was "okay". I told them that I was, even though I wasn't really. In my haste to open the stapler, I managed to drive one of the existing staples into my thumb. I'm not even really certain how I managed to do so. And if it weren't for the wiry little bastard dug deep into my opposable digit, I'd never have know what I'd just accomplished.

Wrapped snuggly in a bandage from that point on, I've been bumping it and hurting it left and write. Apparently, the pad of one's thumb plays a major role in turning the key to start your vehicle. I did not know that until this afternoon, when I had to devise a new method to turn over my engine, now straddling the key between my forefinger and my "bird finger". (The bird finger being the one that's used in 'flipping someone the bird'.)

I've also noticed that it hurts to pull my pants up. That sucks a lot, especially concerning the fact that I've been losing weight again.

Having to alter my daily practices for a few days though, isn't that bad of a thing to have to do. I'll get by. As for what happened with that ancient stapling artifact? V__ and I filed that one away in File 13. By this time, it should be well on it's way to the dumpster. I say "Good riddance!"

Have a nice day, folks!