Bodacious

I have a list of "sports" in my head. On one side are games that I consider to be actual sports and on the other, games that are NOT sports. What decides the criteria is whether I can do it or not. I'm not athletic by nature, so if I am able to perform the sport in question, then for obvious reasons, it cannot be considered a sport.

For instance, I cannot throw a football. Therefore, football IS a sport. I don't know how to skate, so hockey IS a sport. I suppose in that matter, so is figure skating. As well it should. I've seen "Battle of the Blades" in which former NHL'ers participate in figure skating competition for charity. I recall former Maple Leaf, Tie Domi, commenting during his stint in the first season, saying he thought it'd be easy, but he was greatly surprised by the work involved in perfecting the craft of figure skating.

On the other side of the coin though, there are "games", and I use that term lightly, like soccer. You run, you kick a ball. Oooh. Real f*cking tough. I'm asthmatic, but I can run. I can kick a f*cking ball. Soccer IS NOT a sport. Plus the fact that it's gay, doesn't help it's case none, either.

Golf, also, is not a sport. I can do it. Not well, but I can do it. Plus, it's more of a pastime, than a sport. It's just something men do to get away from their wives for a few hours. And given that most men, not all, but most men are married to nagging hags, the idea of escaping for a few hours on the course is far more appealing than putting a bullet in their head. I concur, fella's.

There is one "sport", that I don't consider to be a sport at all, though. It's not one that I can do, nor would I ever attempt to do. It's both, f*cking retarded and far too dangerous to try. That is bull riding. I can't help but wonder, how bored was the first guy in history, to ever try riding a f*cking bull? Bronco busting a horse, as cruel as that seems, I understand as people have been riding horses for centuries, if not longer. Riding a bull, on the other hand, what the f*ck? Riding close to 2000lbs of pure muscle, adrenaline, and anger, as it tries to throw you off and kill you.

The bull pictured above, is named Bodacious. During his career, in the 90's, no man was able to beat him. He, on the other hand, beat many a rider. To a pulp. It is written that Bodacious had one particular move he performed repeatedly. That was to put his head down in the dirt, bringing his butt high in the air, thus forcing the rider forward. Then Bodacious would whip his head back, smashing the riders face in the process. It's said that one rider thought he'd better the bovine, by wearing a hockey mask, but this still ended with his nose being broken and bursting his eye sockets.

Yet, when incidents like this occur in the rodeo industry, everyone is shocked and surprised. This is what confuses me. People acting like f*cking morons and being hurt as a result, and STILL people are surprised. If someone's spinning a loaded pistol like a cowboy, then drops and it shoots their face off, we're all like "What the hell did you expect was going to happen, you dumb shit?!?" So why is failing to ride nearly a ton of piss 'n' vinegar, such a surprise when it turns and gores your stupid ass?

I think most cowboys are a little gay to begin with. I mean, look at their clothes? Who spends that much time picking out a hat? And paisley? Don't get me started. Another blog for another day. But to "try and prove your manhood" by riding a bull? Talk about your "overcompensating". Yeesh!