Bullshit!!

There's a whole lot of hype, right now, calling for the closure of Sea World, due to it's unethical treatment of their marine life.  CNN aired the documentary, Blackfish, this past weekend and as bad as people thought the treatment of the orcas was, the reality is a hell of a lot worse.  Everyday people are up in arms about the cruelty bestowed upon dogs, cat, birds, turtles, snakes and a menagerie of other creatures great and small.  Barnum and Bailey recently announced that they'd be phasing out the animal acts, due to mismanagement and poor treatment of animals, although I would venture a guess and say that it's more financial than anything else.  Whatever the reason, it's nice to get out of subjecting these animals to unusual behaviors not displayed in nature.

Calgary Stampede is one of the largest spectacles on Earth.  All cowboy-related events.  I've never attended the Calgary Stampede, nor would I ever.  I can't wrap my head around the logic (or illogic, rather) of riding a horse really fast around barrels or roping a f*cking calf.  The latter may be necessary for large cattle ranches looking to catch offspring for branding or tagging, but why make a big f*cking show around it?  What are those poor calves thinking?  Constantly running and up down, up down, up down.  F*ck off, already!!

Bronco busting....  Okay.  I'd imagine manly men since the beginning of time have been egging each other on, waging money and honour to those ballsy enough to climb on the biggest baddest steed and ride that motherf*cker until it's spirit is broken and can be ridden from that point on, but bull riding?  When and where, in time, was it ever necessary to ride a motherf*cking bull?!?

All these butt-reaming idiots, with their ten gallon idiot hats pulled down under their chins, desperately clinging on for dear life for eight seconds.  Eight f*cking seconds.  These cowboys march around with hubcap belt buckles, acting like they're the manliest of men, but they're willing to only hold on for less than a sixth of a minute?  Firemen are frickin' lunatics, but they're more manly because they  run into fires 'n' shit, but no.  Cowboys are the toast of the town.  Bullshit!!

Nowadays, I see those stupid motherf*ckers have cast aside their gay-as-f*ck cowboy hats, for full on helmets with full face shields.  Afraid of injury.  Full helmets and body armour, all to avoid injury.  Ya wanna avoid injury, hero?  Don't f*cking ride a bull, ya dumb bastards!!  Organizers even blunt the end of the bull's horns, for the avoidance of being gored.  Where's the danger, now?

As a naive child, the lion and tiger acts were always my favourite circus acts.  Later, as I aged and matured, I came to resent the trainers and organizations who exploit these poor animals.  One year, at the summer fair in the city, here, they had a tiger act.  The show was outside, which was fine, but between shows, the tigers could be seen locked up in cramped metal cages.  Their tongues wagging outside gaping mouths, heavily panting in the midday sun.  It was horrible.  The people I was in attendance with, wished to stop and watch the show, much to my chagrin. While the crowd encompassing the show area, oohed and aah'd in amazement, I silently wished the tigers would conclude enough is enough and lash out against the trainer, killing him in the process.  Sadly, though, if this were the case, officials would blame the animal, not the human-element.  Blame the wild animal for acting and reacting as they would in their native kingdom, and pay the price with their lives, ultimately.  Given the lives they lead in captivity, perhaps suicide by proxy would be the way to go for these otherwise stunning creatures.

Establishments, like Sea World, would be fine, in my opinion, if they acted more as an educational institution.  Catch and rescue sea life in distress.  Nurse them back to health, educating the public in exchange for monetary gain, to assist in the recuperation of the sickly animals, but shy away from the bullshit dog 'n' pony shows of having the Killer Whales swimming in circles, waving their fins and splashing the crowds, like dancing bears.  Stop the bullshit!!

#ShutDownSeaWorld
#ShutDownCalgaryStampede
#ShutdownAllAnimalActs

Bodacious

I have a list of "sports" in my head. On one side are games that I consider to be actual sports and on the other, games that are NOT sports. What decides the criteria is whether I can do it or not. I'm not athletic by nature, so if I am able to perform the sport in question, then for obvious reasons, it cannot be considered a sport.

For instance, I cannot throw a football. Therefore, football IS a sport. I don't know how to skate, so hockey IS a sport. I suppose in that matter, so is figure skating. As well it should. I've seen "Battle of the Blades" in which former NHL'ers participate in figure skating competition for charity. I recall former Maple Leaf, Tie Domi, commenting during his stint in the first season, saying he thought it'd be easy, but he was greatly surprised by the work involved in perfecting the craft of figure skating.

On the other side of the coin though, there are "games", and I use that term lightly, like soccer. You run, you kick a ball. Oooh. Real f*cking tough. I'm asthmatic, but I can run. I can kick a f*cking ball. Soccer IS NOT a sport. Plus the fact that it's gay, doesn't help it's case none, either.

Golf, also, is not a sport. I can do it. Not well, but I can do it. Plus, it's more of a pastime, than a sport. It's just something men do to get away from their wives for a few hours. And given that most men, not all, but most men are married to nagging hags, the idea of escaping for a few hours on the course is far more appealing than putting a bullet in their head. I concur, fella's.

There is one "sport", that I don't consider to be a sport at all, though. It's not one that I can do, nor would I ever attempt to do. It's both, f*cking retarded and far too dangerous to try. That is bull riding. I can't help but wonder, how bored was the first guy in history, to ever try riding a f*cking bull? Bronco busting a horse, as cruel as that seems, I understand as people have been riding horses for centuries, if not longer. Riding a bull, on the other hand, what the f*ck? Riding close to 2000lbs of pure muscle, adrenaline, and anger, as it tries to throw you off and kill you.

The bull pictured above, is named Bodacious. During his career, in the 90's, no man was able to beat him. He, on the other hand, beat many a rider. To a pulp. It is written that Bodacious had one particular move he performed repeatedly. That was to put his head down in the dirt, bringing his butt high in the air, thus forcing the rider forward. Then Bodacious would whip his head back, smashing the riders face in the process. It's said that one rider thought he'd better the bovine, by wearing a hockey mask, but this still ended with his nose being broken and bursting his eye sockets.

Yet, when incidents like this occur in the rodeo industry, everyone is shocked and surprised. This is what confuses me. People acting like f*cking morons and being hurt as a result, and STILL people are surprised. If someone's spinning a loaded pistol like a cowboy, then drops and it shoots their face off, we're all like "What the hell did you expect was going to happen, you dumb shit?!?" So why is failing to ride nearly a ton of piss 'n' vinegar, such a surprise when it turns and gores your stupid ass?

I think most cowboys are a little gay to begin with. I mean, look at their clothes? Who spends that much time picking out a hat? And paisley? Don't get me started. Another blog for another day. But to "try and prove your manhood" by riding a bull? Talk about your "overcompensating". Yeesh!