It's funny how most of those who refer to St. Valentine's Day as a "stupid holiday", are usually the very same people who are also single when February 14th comes to pass. I don't find the day as particularly undesirable, as it is a marketing ploy to guilt people into buying expensive shit for their love interests. Not to sound like a cheap f*ck, but I guess ya gotta call a spade a spade, but I would much rather celebrate the occasion a few days after the fact. Express one's affection while saving a few bucks. You can't put a price on love? Well, apparently, I CAN!
I've never, to the best of my recollection, ever had a significant other on St. Valentine's Day. I'm certain it's not because of my thriftiness, but just bad timing. I'm sure if I did have that special girl in my life, though, I wouldn't reserve the romance to one day out of the year. A true gentleman should celebrate his love, throughout the year. Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be WAY off base.
Once again, though, February 14th enters and exits, leaving me in it's dust, destined to watch it's tail lights disappear into the distance. I sent a text to a friend earlier, commenting on how this mutual friend of ours had a date for St. Valentine's Day, yet (ironically) a sexy bitch like myself, is left at home to drown my sorrows in a deep chilled glass of chocolate milk. Sadly, this is not a ritual reserved for romantic holidays alone. My friend replied that I at least had my cat, Monkey, to keep me company. To which I promptly replied, tongue-in-cheek, of course, that it would be wrong for anyone to violate their pet in such a way. All kidding aside, though, he has once more, not left my side. Even now, he is slumbering on my left foot, cutting off the circulation to my toes. The speculation of my comments, though, does remind me of a story I'd heard a friend tell me, once upon a time. I don't know if this were a true story or an urban myth, as over the years, I've heard a few similar tales.
It seems that a group of friends prepared a surprise party for a friend of theirs who was single throughout the holiday season, and with St. Valentine's Day upon her, was feeling especially out of sorts. They'd gathered in the young woman's apartment, eagerly awaiting her return home. Their rustling soon being hushed as they heard her keys jingling on the other side of the door. Quietly, they waited for this girl to turn on the lights, prompting them to call out "SURPRISE"! However, instead of turning on the light, she instead rounded the corner and headed down the hall to her bedroom, bags in hand. The small menagerie of friends looked at one another with looks of confusion and pride in pulling off a perfect surprise. They continued to wait in the dark, surmising that she would soon exit her bedroom and re-enter the main area of the small apartment. Alas, this moment never came and people began murmuring and getting antsy. Realizing the jig was up, one of the friends volunteered to fetch the young woman from her bedroom, and reveal the surprise. When she got to the bedroom door, she knocked and entered without waiting for a response. It was then that she discovered the young woman, completely naked on her bed with nothing more than a jar of peanut butter, it's contents slathered over her nether-regions and her golden retriever lapping it up. SURPRISE...?!?
Happy St. Valentine's Day Everyone!!!
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