That Kind of Tree

Once upon a time, I worked at this job, where the employees were the ones who interviewed new hopefuls, intent on gaining employment with the company.  It was a good idea, as we had to work with these frickin' people and interviewing them ourselves, made it easier to find a good fit, rather than allowing management to blindly hire any f*ckwad.  Unfortunately, some f*ckwads managed to leak through.  This is, in part, why I no longer work at that place of business.  That and the fact that the job sucked ass, anyway.

In the interviewing process, we were encouraged to ask the potential worker many questions.  Questions that involved past employment and tasks that they may have taken part in.  Also included in that list was shit like "What's your strongest asset?" and "What's one thing you could improve upon?"  The latter question I recall one kid, who was slunk way down in his chair, said "Getting to work on time."  Needless to say, that f*ckwad, never got the job.

Also mixed in with those questions, were some absurd questions.  Stuff like, "If you were a superhero, who would you be and why?"  I think during my interview I said Batman, because he has all those wonderful toys.  (The comic book Batman and not that gay Adam West bullshit that was on TV in the 60's).

Today, while I was contending with an order from H-E-double-hockey sticks, I paused for a moment and gazed out the window of the office, when one of those stupid-ass questions popped into my head.  "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be and why?"  I remembered sitting back in my high-backed leather chair for a moment, bewildered by the obtuse question that sat atop of my mind.  Then the answer came to me.  A sudden epiphany, a proverbial light bulb going off.  (Or more likely, more brain cells committing suicide.)

WHAT KIND OF TREE WOULD (I) BE AND WHY?  I hate pine trees as a rule, but if I had to be any sort of tree, it'd have to be an evergreen tree.  Like the Frasier Fir pictured above.  Why?  Because they keep their pine needles all year round, which is good, because I look horrible naked!