There's a lot of nasty shit in the world. Most that people put up with on a daily basis, most of which, I couldn't f*cking deal with, myself, though. Off the top of my head, pardon the pun, a hairdresser or barber. I couldn't f*cking deal with all the f*ckin' hair. My sister is a hairdresser, a profession that she enjoys thoroughly, but I can't fathom the idea of touching people's hair for a living. I barely enjoy running my fingers through my own hair, let alone someone else's, and I have an awesome head of hair. However, on my visits for haircuts, I watch as she (my sister) sweeps up all the hair that has collected on the floor and dispenses it into the garbage can, that is always steeped with pounds of discarded human hair. Minimal amounts of that which is swept, escapes the broom and is left, tucked into nooks and corners of the room. Small minuscule hairs, scattered about the room, similar to those of mine I discover on my shirt when I arrive at home.
Another gross practice is Wing Night at some of the local eateries. While the flavoured chicken wings are (usually) quite tasty, I cringe when the waitress or busboy comes to collect the plates of discarded bones. The collected bones varying from being completely devoured of every morsel of meat, to some with some skin and cartilage remaining, all however, covered with saliva and spit. I try to assist in placing my own plate of bones on the tray and even then, am disgusted when a hint of my own drool grazes a digit.
The absolute worst feeling though, is that disgusting warm sensation when you sit down on a public toilet seat. I use public facilities ONLY at times of absolute desperation and emergency. In most cases, public restrooms are f*cking disgusting. Veritable petri dishes of filth and germs, despite some poor shlub signing off that they've "thoroughly cleaned" the facility. God forbid, if a person ever has to use a bathroom at a bar. Holy Christ, I can't imagine the horror of realizing you need to drop a deuce there. I don't know what the women's restrooms are like, but the men's room is almost always in some form of dilapidated state.
However, IF the need to use the public restroom presents itself, why the f*ck does the toilet seat need to be hot and sweaty? What the f*ck was the predecessor forcing out of his ass that required that much intensity? A f*cking Miata? They sound like Bruce Banner turning into the Incredible Hulk. "Oh no. Oooh no! Oooh God, no!! Haah!! Haaarrrrrrruuuuuuugh!!!" Or perhaps, it is simply a case of a person taking some time out of their busy day to kick back and relax on the shitter? A moment or two from a hectic work day or a few fleeting moments away from the kids throwing tantrums... Of all the f*cked up places to relax, why would you choose a public restroom?
It is a true rarity that I will find myself in the public restroom, of any establishment or shopping mall. And if it is necessary to pay a visit, it's in and out in record time, because guaranteed, any longer than a minute and there's a unfortunate fool in the next stall, who is unleashing some kind of fury. Sounds similar dumping a bucket of gravel into the bowl, masked only by the occasional grunt or groan of great strife. I don't know what the f*ck these people eat that they need to strain themselves almost to the point of injury, but I'm staying the f*ck away from the food court, just to be on the safe side.
It's shit like this that keeps me pretty close to home. It's bad enough driving in traffic with these f*ckin' people, but having to share space with them too? No f*cking thank you....
Another gross practice is Wing Night at some of the local eateries. While the flavoured chicken wings are (usually) quite tasty, I cringe when the waitress or busboy comes to collect the plates of discarded bones. The collected bones varying from being completely devoured of every morsel of meat, to some with some skin and cartilage remaining, all however, covered with saliva and spit. I try to assist in placing my own plate of bones on the tray and even then, am disgusted when a hint of my own drool grazes a digit.
The absolute worst feeling though, is that disgusting warm sensation when you sit down on a public toilet seat. I use public facilities ONLY at times of absolute desperation and emergency. In most cases, public restrooms are f*cking disgusting. Veritable petri dishes of filth and germs, despite some poor shlub signing off that they've "thoroughly cleaned" the facility. God forbid, if a person ever has to use a bathroom at a bar. Holy Christ, I can't imagine the horror of realizing you need to drop a deuce there. I don't know what the women's restrooms are like, but the men's room is almost always in some form of dilapidated state.
However, IF the need to use the public restroom presents itself, why the f*ck does the toilet seat need to be hot and sweaty? What the f*ck was the predecessor forcing out of his ass that required that much intensity? A f*cking Miata? They sound like Bruce Banner turning into the Incredible Hulk. "Oh no. Oooh no! Oooh God, no!! Haah!! Haaarrrrrrruuuuuuugh!!!" Or perhaps, it is simply a case of a person taking some time out of their busy day to kick back and relax on the shitter? A moment or two from a hectic work day or a few fleeting moments away from the kids throwing tantrums... Of all the f*cked up places to relax, why would you choose a public restroom?
It is a true rarity that I will find myself in the public restroom, of any establishment or shopping mall. And if it is necessary to pay a visit, it's in and out in record time, because guaranteed, any longer than a minute and there's a unfortunate fool in the next stall, who is unleashing some kind of fury. Sounds similar dumping a bucket of gravel into the bowl, masked only by the occasional grunt or groan of great strife. I don't know what the f*ck these people eat that they need to strain themselves almost to the point of injury, but I'm staying the f*ck away from the food court, just to be on the safe side.
It's shit like this that keeps me pretty close to home. It's bad enough driving in traffic with these f*ckin' people, but having to share space with them too? No f*cking thank you....
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