"Look ma!! No hands." It's a weird thing to pop into my head, considering I was urinating at the time. However, it is, what it is, and it's the line that popped in my head as I exited the stall in the men's washroom. The place was atrocious. If it were a pig sty, it would be a vast improvement, but calling it this, would be detrimental to pig sties everywhere.
Having a shy bladder at the best of times, I'm always regulated to going into the stalls. Even though the ambient noise is enough to discourage urination of any kind, having a physical barrier to separate me from the rest of the clattering people, is just enough to relax and entice me into going. Public washrooms are often a freakin' horror show, but the restroom at public functions like a convention or in the case earlier tonight, a music concert, the bathroom is absolutely catastrophic.
Having a shy bladder at the best of times, I'm always regulated to going into the stalls. Even though the ambient noise is enough to discourage urination of any kind, having a physical barrier to separate me from the rest of the clattering people, is just enough to relax and entice me into going. Public washrooms are often a freakin' horror show, but the restroom at public functions like a convention or in the case earlier tonight, a music concert, the bathroom is absolutely catastrophic.
After the close of the show, I rushed into the washroom and immediately found a vacant stall. What met my gaze on the other side of that door was horrific. It was as though an Islamic Jihadist had blown themselves up using a piss bomb. There was urine everywhere. On the seat. On the floor. On the toilet paper dispenser, thus the roll was drenched and poofy from moisture expansion. There was even urine dripping down the walls. In fact, I believe the only place that never got hit by any piss, was the inside of the bowl. It's no wonder women find men disgusting in the bathroom.
Perhaps it's unmanly to admit, but I sit (at home) to use the toilet. Reason being, splash-back. If you go to any household where there's either a majority of males or where the man is the lone occupant, chances are you're going to see dried piss on the outside of the bowl. This is from splash-back and it's f*cking disgusting. I won't have it in my house. Nope. No way. No how.
Outside of the house is a different matter all together. I refuse to sit my ass down on a public toilet unless it's a dire emergency. In addition to my refusal to sit down, I also refrain from using my bare hands. It's all elbows and feet, and I've gotten pretty god damned good at it, too. "Look ma!! No hands!!"
"What would possess someone to piss everywhere except in the bowl?" I wondered to myself, "It's no wonder women find men f*cking disgusting." It was at this point.., mid-stream.., into the toilet bowl, I might add, that I thought of this instrument. Like the laser sights currently available for a vast number of handguns and assault weapons, it would seem beneficial to men, if there were a way to apply that science to their dicks, enabling them the ability to no longer spray down everything except the inner sanctum of the toilet bowl. The laser sights, seem to come in various sizes so there should be a guidance system for just about every man on earth. Given how much people like to play with guns, a laser sight would give them ample opportunity to play with.... Uh... Never mind.
Outside of the house is a different matter all together. I refuse to sit my ass down on a public toilet unless it's a dire emergency. In addition to my refusal to sit down, I also refrain from using my bare hands. It's all elbows and feet, and I've gotten pretty god damned good at it, too. "Look ma!! No hands!!"
"What would possess someone to piss everywhere except in the bowl?" I wondered to myself, "It's no wonder women find men f*cking disgusting." It was at this point.., mid-stream.., into the toilet bowl, I might add, that I thought of this instrument. Like the laser sights currently available for a vast number of handguns and assault weapons, it would seem beneficial to men, if there were a way to apply that science to their dicks, enabling them the ability to no longer spray down everything except the inner sanctum of the toilet bowl. The laser sights, seem to come in various sizes so there should be a guidance system for just about every man on earth. Given how much people like to play with guns, a laser sight would give them ample opportunity to play with.... Uh... Never mind.
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