Evolution Got It Right

 I've long thought about this before, and frankly, I'm sure many have, but sitting in the drive-thru, yesterday, fumbling through my wallet as the line of vehicles built up behind me, "I wish I had a third arm."

A third arm would be handy and hell, pardon the pun.  I bet texting while driving wouldn't be an issue anymore as two hands would always be on the wheel, while the third thumbed through social media.  Of course, your eyes wouldn't be on the road, likely, so maybe we, as humans, need to grow a third eye, as well.

Unpacking vehicles alone wouldn't be such a nuisance anymore.  No need to ask for someone to lend a hand, as you'd already have a third hand.  Waving to people would be extra celebratory.  Even jazz hands would be exciting to watch.  Watch...  Hmm.  You could wear a wrist watch on that extra arm.  Okay...  That one is a little silly.

The only drawback would be getting dressed.  I have no idea what the strategy would be for putting on apparel.  Nor have I thought of where the third arm would be situated.  I always figured growing straight out of your chest, but that would be unattractive.  Most of us, myself included, aren't very attractive sans clothing, so adding a protruding arm into the mix, would undoubtedly be somewhat frightening.  Plus, it'd likely get in the way in an industrial setting, and third arms would be getting lopped off left and right... and center.

I guess it could be coming out of our backs, but then how would we sit or sleep.  Most sleep on their side, but turning over would prove impossible as the third arm growing out of your back would act like a kickstand.  Handy if you're one of those adrenaline junkies who climb cliffs and mountains.  You could sleep on a mountain edge without fear of rolling off because of your built-in kickstand.

Speaking of adrenaline junkies, that third arm would impede parachuting apparatus'.  Bungee jumps would be okay, but wingsuits would be impossible, too.

As helpful as that third arm would be, I guess I haven't clearly thought out all the pros and cons yet.  Like which way would the hand fold.  Would it vary from person to person?  Two left folding hands to one right folding hand or vice-versa?  Would it be ambidextrous, meaning it could fold both ways?  That could be handy, again pardon the pun.  Fornication would be interesting...  Good god, can you imagine what the pornographic implications would be?  Shocking to say the least.

As inconvenient as it is, two arms is best.  The people behind me in the drive-thru are just going to have to be more patient.  Evolution got it right!!