For two days, we lived vicariously through the thoughts of "what if"? Can you imagine how different our lives would be? How much better the lives of everyone we care about would be?
To clarify, the big lottery, the Lotto Max, had it's $55 million jackpot won by a single winner, located right here in Saskatoon. As an avid and faithful customer of the lottery, I always have my fingers crossed, but am greatly skeptical when I hear a jackpot has been won. Especially, when it happens practically in my backyard. I'm not being cynical, but rather, I know how shitty my luck is and when a big prize, like the afore mentioned $55M, I am almost certain that the lucky bastard who won, will not be me.
However, for two days, my workmate and I have been dreaming about the what ifs. Dreaming of what we would do and how and where and all the dreams that are associated with a vivid imagination. All fun and games, but in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "Seriously... What if?"
In the days leading up to this exciting news, I've been overwhelmed with feelings of deja vu. This rarely happens to me, but when it does, something good usually follows. I was coming home and thinking about how I would renovate my house. I've had grand illusions of how I would change things up in my humble abode. Of course, I'm not the only person I was thinking about. I would take care of my family, too. Though I'm a single fella, I'd take care of my sister's family. I have a nice plot of land, just south of the city, that I've had my eye on for awhile. It's a blank slate, ready for me to move in and for the right budget, build my forever home. Then, to the east of that I could parcel out a portion for my sister and her family to build a house, too.
Then there's my mom. She's done SO MUCH for me in my short shitty life. She's so helpful and generous, that if nothing else, I wanted to win that money to take care of my mom for the rest of her life. Get her a new car, something safer than what she's driving now. She'd live rent free, as I doubt she'd want to move again. Basically, I wanted to give my mother a life of no more stress or worry. Nothing but clear sailing.
That was two days of bliss, but like all good things, it came to an end. I checked my ticket and unless I have another that I'd forgotten about, I'm afraid that I have to remain satisfied with the freeplay that I'd won, in place of the fifty-five MILLION DOLLARS.
What sucks most is... I'm forced to stay employed at the place I'm at. Nothing would have made me more happy than to walk out of that place, head held high and never looking back.
So now reality has set in. My life is as shitty now, as it was before. The only ray of light is my cat, Monkey. For richer or poorer, he's right here, by my side. I'm so lucky to have that cat. Most days I feel so overwhelmed and disappointed in how my life turned out, but then I look at my little boy, looking up at me with those gorgeous eyes, I thank the powers that be, who brought that little tabby cat into my life. Now if those same Powers That Be, would get their heads out of their asses, and award me with a major jackpot, I'd be perfect!!
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