Off To The Races

 

What does that saying really mean?  "I've got to piss like a race horse!"

Most people feel a tickle, I suspect.  An inkling of an idea that they may have to visit the restroom at some point in their day, but I'm not of that school.  It's rare that the urge to relieve myself ever comes as a gentle notion, but as an outright emergency.

It never seems to fail.  I'll have some free time between tasks and I feel fine.  The moment I decide to dedicate myself to a project, that is when I feel the urgent pressure to relieve myself.  Then it's a mad scramble to make it to the washroom on time.

A few minutes ago, I passed the washroom headed for the kitchen to prepare myself a light lunch.  The minute I punctured the can with the opener, I was overwhelmed with pressure.  It was like my bladder was about to explode.  "Oh shit!" I muttered aloud, "I gotta piss like a race horse!!"  That phrase makes absolutely no sense, whatsoever.

What differentiates a race horse from any other horse?  Because it has an actual vocation, does this civilize the horse from it's more wilder distant cousins?  Like do those Budweiser Clydesdales have their own facilities?  Poop in a giant toilet rather than dropping road apples on... Well, the road?

Quite the contrary.  If people really are having to "piss like a race horse", then I'd imagine more people would be dropping trou, assuming the position and squirting in the streets.  That paints a helluva picture, doesn't it.  Kinda like all those picture of Chinese tourists pooping in Japanese streets and public transit.  Gross!!

It's funny..., not funny ha-ha, but funny strange, where these crazy quotes originate.  I haven't the time nor inspiration to do a deep dive on this silliness.

In the meantime, I will, undoubtedly, continue to race to the bathroom when nature calls, likely uttering those words "piss like a race horse", under my breath.  There's no changing that, I suppose.  Stupid.

Gross!!