FML

 

What was to begin an amusing anecdote about fatherhood, kids, discipline and chores, but alas, my efforts were thwarted by a computer having a temper tantrum.

I first noticed that it began moving slower over the past few days, but when I powered it up to venture into the World Wide Web, the laptop that once raced like the hare from that old fairytale, now moved as quickly as Eeyore in the Boston Marathon.  Very lethargic, but I managed to seek out the photos I was going to use, but when I attempted to write a new blog, the system never allowed me to follow through with my intentions.

Turns out that I was signed out of my blog.  I don't understand how or when that would have occurred.  I usually stay logged in.  It saves time and much of my sanity.  The very same sanity that sadly has melted away with tonight's escapades.

Apparently, so I've learned from this endeavour, Google owns blogspot.  I did not know that..., or if I did, it's another memory that was lost in my accident.  So I now had to recall the password for that which, for some reason, even though I'd punched in the correct PW, I had to verify that it was me.  A verification code was sent to my email.  Nope!  Can't get into my f*cking email account, despite the password being correct.  What the f*ck, man?!

I phone a friend, like a confused contestant on a game show, hoping for suggestions or a remedy to fix my compiling problems.  He helps the best he can, bless his heart, but his being on the other side of the city and my being completely computer illiterate, the project fell short.  I take the blame for that.  That and my computer is being a complete dick.

Now I have financial worries of "how the f*ck am I going to afford to replace another computer?"  I have a decent job, but the cost of living keeps rising every other day.  I speculate that my property taxes are going to be raised again, because the current city government is comprised of egotistical maniacs bent on what their legacy is going to be over the betterment of the citizens of our fair city.  Not to mention how many prior financial commitments I have.  My life is a f*cking money pit.

I thank my friend for the help he provided.  He's a good dude.  My "brother-from-another-mother".  We exchanged our parting pleasantries and I hung up the phone.  (We say hang up, even though there's no hanging of anything involved. 🤔 Weird.)  [*Sorry.  My mind wandered there for a second.  Now..., where was I?]

So we said our farewell's and I... set my phone aside, then turned my attention back to this slowpoke of a computer.  Closed all the windows that we had opened, all but one.  When I backed out of the failed Google sign-in attempt, suddenly my f*cking blog account was open.  What the f*ck, indeed!!

I changed the direction of what I was originally going to write.  I don't know if I'll ever complete the original idea.  I'll probably forget it.  I still have some issues with short-term memory.  Then again, maybe I will remember.  Each day is a mystery.

All this computer f*ckery is getting tedious.  I don't understand why I never learned how these f*cking things actually work.  I see other people tapping keys and punching in data and it looks fulfilling.  To just instinctually know what the outcome of your efforts will be, whereas in my shitty little life, I press the power button and then say a little prayer under my breath, to whom, I don't have a clue, but my hope is always that shit will work as it should and I can maneuver the interwebs without any hassle, so when stupid shit like what happened today, my prayers change from hoping that the computer will actually work to hoping a meteor will land on my house and kill me right here and now.  Some days I literally feel like I'm too stupid to live.  (Then I see some really stupid people and I feel better about my shitty life.)  

*Thank you stupid people.  You really do make the world go 'round.*