Nobody F*cks With Reggie

The song "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" became a classic Christmas carol early on.  Recorded by cowboy-crooner, Gene Autry, the song quickly rose to Number One on the charts in 1949.  The song was derived from a short story that was written for the Montgomery Ward department store in 1939, as a marketing ploy to sell seasonal colouring books. The story was written as a poem so adapting it to music came as quite an ease.

There was a mention on the radio earlier this week, discussing the origins of the Christmas classic "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer".  The author, Robert L. May was going to originally name the famed-reindeer Rollo or Reginald before finally settling on Rudolph.  Arguably, Rudolph IS the better name as it more easily rolls off the tongue when singing the song.  More so than Rollo or Reginald.  The radio guy claimed that Rollo or Reginald was difficult to sing in time with the music, to which most would agree, but I'm in the small group or perhaps I may be alone on this, but I think "Reggie the Red-Nosed Reindeer" works just as fine as Rudolph does, but it comes with a catch.  Nobody f*cks with a guy named Reggie.

Rudolph or Rudy isn't a tough sounding name.  If anyone is named Rudolph or Rudy in life, which obviously there is, they need to be tough, because Rudy is not a tough sounding name.  It sounds like a push over.  A runt.  A wimp.  When a Rudy runs up and asks to play in reindeer games, they're obviously going to urge him to piss off.  Reindeer games, after all, for those unfamiliar, are hardcore.  So much, you won't even see your toughest personalities f*cking with that sport.  MMA, NFL, Pro Wrestling?  None of these athletes are f*cking with reindeer games and neither is a Rudolph.  That shit would eat him and and spit his sorry little ass out.

Now a Reggie, red nose or not, he's going to get into the thick of things.  Reggie is the type of reindeer that if he's discouraged once, he's going to take matters into his own hands... er, hooves, and do something about it.  Reggie is going to work out.  Hit the weights, work on his cardiovascular.  Maybe even sneak some steroids to emphasize the matter.  Reggie the red-nosed reindeer doesn't take rejection lightly and he'll come back and he'll whoop some reindeer asses.  You watch.  Reggie won't just play in those reindeer games, but he'll f*ck shit up and become the best, the ultimate reindeer game player. 

Meanwhile, Rudolph.... Rudy, is sitting on the sidelines watching all the game play, wondering why everyone is so mean.  Grow a backbone, Rudolph!!  For Christ's sake, not everything gets handed to you on a platter.  Take some initiative!!

That's what happened, though.  Reginald -- Reggie was never to be.  Reggie is a tough son-of-a-bitch.  Reggie makes for a short uneventful song.  Rudolph, on the other hand, shows a challenge. Displays diversity.  Rudolph is the underdog that everyone feels needs to be cheered.  To be championed.  That's why on that fateful Christmas Eve night, when the fog was so thick, Santa couldn't see the belly that was in front of him, he called on Rudolph to guide the troupe of reindeer and his sleigh, thus plunging Rudolph into history as the most famous reindeer of them all.  Handed to him on a platter.

Throughout history, Reggie or Reginald the Red-Nosed Reindeer is just a discarded note on the floor of the artists office.  Never to see the light of day.  At least not until now....

Behold!  I'd like to introduce you to:
Reginald (Reggie) the Red-Nosed Reindeer

And nobody f*cks with Reggie!!