KRYPTONITE

Aside from being a precious gem from another world that could literally kill the Man of Steel, Superman, aka Kal El, aka Clark Kent, Kryptonite is also the name of a Top Number One Hit from the band 3 Doors Down, circa 2000.

I wasn't a fan of the song, at first, if I gotta be honest.  When it'd come on the radio I'd clench my teeth and work my way through it or change the channel.  It wasn't until one weekend when I attended a bachelor party.  My memory is a little foggy on the evening.  (I wasn't drinking, but my memory is SO terrible these last few years and it's only getting worse - ha ha.)

I believe we had a nice supper, somewhere.  May have attended a bar at some point.  I really don't remember.  Can't even recall whose bachelor party it was, to be honest.  However, what I DO recollect is our attending the local strip club.  I can't for the life of me, remember the name of the place, but it's long gone and it doesn't matter for the sake of the story.

As I stated, I was not drinking, so when the bunch of guys left to table to go do shots or something, I was left alone at the table.  Situated next to the dance floor/stage where the nice girls were strutting their stuff, I looked like some pervy guy seated alone.  So when the song "KRYPTONITE" came blasting over the airwaves and an attractive strawberry blonde dancer came over to the table next to me, I politely turned my chair and looked away.  

Now if I'm being completely honest, I didn't turn all the way.  I turned just enough.  My peripheral vision is most excellent, still to this day.  Now, that combined with a few casual glances, now and again, was enough for me to appreciate her performance.  The young woman was putting her heart and soul into this dance.  To quote Donna Summer, "She Works Hard For The Money".  She was earning that tip from the next table. 

When the song concluded, I was thankful, as I never cared much for the song up to that point.  The dancer strode across the stage to her bag, withdrew a poster and walked sexily back to the table next to me where she'd just been dancing, fully nude, for the table of young men.

One, let's be honest, boy, opened his wallet and began fingering through many bills.  I glanced at her eager reaction, hoping for a sizeable donation, but that looked quickly disappeared from her face, replaced with disdain.  She was visibly upset, for the young fella pulled out a measly ten dollar bill then asked if she had change.

My jaw literally dropped.  I could not believe that these three people sat and watched this lovely woman flash them all her pretty pink parts and they wanted change for a f*cking ten.  She told them off, turned to me and rewarded me with the poster.  I never gave her any money and she didn't want any from me.

Since that evening, circa 2000 or so, whenever that song comes on the radio, I'm reminded of how stupid, ignorant, and arrogant some people are.  Okay. Okay.  If I'm being honest, when the song comes on, I just remember that asshole asking the stripper for change and her getting angry.  And I actually like the song, too.

....Always tip your waitress and your stripper.... 😄