In Over My Head

 

For as long as I can remember, one of my biggest fears is drowning.  An understandable fear, which I'm sure is shared by most, if not all, but not something that is observed on a daily basis.  No one sets out to drown...  Well.  Maybe some, but that's a different set of circumstances and thought processes.  What initially sparked this fear, for me, was watching a movie many many (many) years ago, that cemented this fear for me.

The movie was "White Squall" from 1996, which is a story based on the true events which occurred in 1960 to a group of prep schoolers who set out to sea aboard an old-fashioned sailing vessel.  The trip is to teach the young men fortitude and discipline, but what they actually receive is a crash course in survival after the ship they're on, capsizes from being hit by a white squall, which occurred just three weeks short of their final destination.  Starring an all-star cast, including Jeff Bridges, Ryan Phillippe, Jeremy Sisto, Scott Wolf, among many others.  One scene that clinched this unbridled fear was when the ship is sinking and there's a shot of some classmates locked behind a door.  After many failed attempts, survivors are forced to abandon their classmates.  The fear on their eyes was relentless, striking a fear in me that has lasted all these years, later.  Just the idea of not dying immediately, but to watch the water levels slowly rise to the point where all oxygen is lost and you're forced to take that final breath and suck in all that water.  It's purely horrifying.

]That's not what this blog is about and I apologize for leading you astray.  It was a decent movie, if I remember correctly, so if you have an opportunity to give it a looksy, take a chance with it, it's only two hours, after all.]

Driving home, tonight, I saw a young fellow walking along the road that runs parallel to the river.  The weather being as frigid and cold as it is, the decision to walk that route, especially when the next set of houses isn't for, at least, a quarter mile or so.  My imagination, as it often does, began to race at all the infinite possibilities of what may be going on.  Perhaps he's unfamiliar with the city and doesn't know that walking along this route is futile.  Or maybe, and my mind went to a dark place, he's not feeling very well, mentally, and he was hoping to gain access to the river to... You know.  End his misery. 

It was at that moment that my brain abandoned the young fellow and immediately began analyzing my own fears concerning drowning.  The thoughts raced through my head like ponies at the Kentucky Derby.  I vocalized, out loud, how it horrified me.  Then I paused...

What if I was tossed into a lake of gravy?  I love gravy and as much as it would suck to drown, would it be so bad if it was in gravy?  Then I abandoned that idea.  A lake of gravy?  Really?  "What's wrong with me?" I thought to myself. 🤨  A vat of gravy would make so much more sense.  That's when my thoughts and concerns for the young man had completely vanished.  Now my thoughts went straight to trying to figure out just how large a vat actually is.  While I've used the word 'vat' many times as a safety word in Words With Friends, I barely know anything beyond that and what they're used for.

According to Google, and I'm paraphrasing this to simplify an otherwise complicated response to a relatively easy query, but that's Google for ya.  a vat is generally around 26 U.S. gallons.  How that relates to actual size in inches or feet, I don't know.  I Googled pictures and it ranged from a large cooking pot to something you'd store beer in.

 

I'm mostly curious about the size of a vat, because I believe, if it was beef gravy, like illustrated above, that I might be capable of drinking myself to safety, al la Bob McKenzie from the movie "Strange Brew" (1983).  The container on the left would be challenging but if I hunkered down and dedicated myself, like Adam Moran of Beard Meats Food fame.  (If you don't already, look him up on YouTube.  His videos are as fun and enjoyable as they are challenging to watch - sometimes.😄)

Of course this is all ridiculous.  It's in my nature.  It's how I entertain myself.  I hope this entertained you, as well.  No use in being serious all the time.  What's the use in that?  No fun.

 
Strange Brew / Bob McKenzie (left) Adam Moran "Beard Meats Food" (right)