Holy Shnikeys!!!

For years I've heard reports of people calling 911 on a number of fast food restaurants when less than appropriate service was given.  Offenses ranging from breakfast no longer being available to Mickey D's running out of McNuggets.  All these years, upon hearing of these incidents, I was left scratching my head, bewildered by the stupidity and naivety of people's use of the emergency number.  Earlier tonight, I finally came to understand the frustration these people must have experienced.

It's been, at least, a couple of months since my last visit through the drive-thru at McDonald's.  Although buying fast food is hardly within my budget, I've been doing well in not wasting cash, lately and didn't feel like slaving over a hot stove and grill for sustenance tonight.  I was craving apple pie and decided, on the fly, to step into the nearby McDonald's to grab a quick meal deal and some apple pie.

I was shocked when I entered the restaurant, as they've all but done away with counter staff, replacing all with giant video screens, ushering patrons to point and click on what food purchases they crave.  I quickly went to my usual meal, the Quarter Pounder with Cheese and was shocked to learn the price had skyrocketed.  I'd been through the drive-thru a couple of months ago and the cost of the burger meal was a shade over the six dollar mark, but today the screen shone $9.85 back in my face.  That's nearly a four dollar rise.  I figured this was a mistake and went to the one and only counter person left in the establishment.

She was of a, shall we say, landed immigrant persuasion.  There's nothing wrong with that, but English was not her native tongue and had no idea what my concern was.  Confused, she ushered the shift supervisor over to assist me.  Sadly, his English was equally as poor.  I'm thinking that McDonald's had placed the video purchase kiosks in, specifically so people didn't have to battle the substantial language barrier with their kitchen staff.  I explained my concern that it was impossible that the price of a quarter pounder would jump nearly four dollars in less than two months, but through his broken English, I was able to learn that not only had the price of all the food at McDonald's had risen, but it had done so, several times over that two month time period.  I was shocked.

I was flabbergasted, vocalizing my disdain.  I pointed out that I could get a burger across the street, at Wendy's for less money and it would cost less.  He blankly stared at me, incapable of comprehending what I'd just said.  "So you want the quarter pound burger, sir?"

"No thanks!" I said, adding that the price was a rip-off to their customers.  "All I really wanted was apple pie.  Do you know if Wendy's across the street has apple pie?"

"I don't know what they sell there, sir.  Do you still want the quarter pound burger?"

"No, I don't want the burger.  That price is bullsh....  It's complete bull." I said.  "I want to swear, right now, it's so wrong!  Why did the price go up so drastically?  It's obvious you don't need the money for counter staff."

He parted his lips to reveal a crooked smile and answered, "No sir.  It's to adjust for the exchange rate."

"Exchange rate?  But Canadian McDonald's get all their meat and supplies from Canadian suppliers."

He continued to smile at me, "Do you want the apple pie?"  I asked how much and found that aside from the $1 drinks, the apple pie was the only other reasonably priced item on the menu.  $1.65 for two, albeit tiny, apple pies.

I paid for my fruity pastries and drove across the street to the Wendy's.  There were two police cruisers parked in the lot and I was tempted to report the robbery that McDonald's was committing on their loyal patrons, but didn't go through with the farce as I'm not a f*cking lunatic, but I did come to understand the frustration those people must have experienced in their unfortunate dealings with those fast food restaurants.

The burger wasn't any cheaper from Wendy's, but it tasted a helluva lot better than McDonald's ever could on their best day.  At least I got a Vanilla Rootbeer from Wendy's which was worth the extra couple of bucks, in the long run.

A very long time ago, I had decided to boycott McDonald's.  My goal was to not step foot inside or eat any of their food for a ten year stretch, and if my nephew hadn't been born, I would've made it to that goal, but unfortunately, in his youth, he wanted to go to McDonald's and my goal fell short by. literally, about six months.  After that, I continued my visits, as the prices were reasonable, though the food was shit.  Today, the food is STILL shit, but the prices are even shittier.  I feel another boycott coming.  Maybe this time I'll shoot for twenty years!

Speed Kills, But Stupidity Lives On

It's as stupid as the woman who sued McDonald's for serving hot coffee, but we now live in a society where people point their fingers of blame, rather than taking responsibility for their own shortcomings.

Like the parents who blame music or violent video games, when their children shoot up a movie theater or high school home room, "My child is a perfect little angel.  They would never do something like that.  They must have been influenced by something else."  Guess what?!  No!!  You're just shitty parents.

This week, a couple involved in a high speed collision that left one occupant with severe brain trauma, is suing the online app, Snapchat, with having caused the fatal accident.  The facts of the case, according to what I've read, so far, are this:  Wentworth and Karen Maynard's Mitsubishi was struck from behind by an 18-year old, Christal McGee's car, which was travelling at a high rate of speed, exceeding 100 mph.  The posted speed limit was only 55 mph.  According to the plaintiff (Maynard), the teen was using the smart phone app, Snapchat's speed filter which allows the user to post a photograph illustrating their current speed.  I'll address that in a moment.

According to Henry Williams, one of the three other occupants in the automobile with McGee, claims none of the quartet of teens were using the Snapchat app at the time.  It's speculation on my part, but that seems a little suspicious, as he never explains why the teens were traveling at an estimated 107 mph.  He does, however, point the finger at the other car. laying blame on them for "pulling out in front of them and failing to speed up".  What I think, actually happened was the Maynard's merged their car onto the four-lane highway, obeying the posted speed of 55 mph, unlike McGee's car, which was traveling like a rocket ship.  If the Maynard's are guilty of anything, it's that they aren't clairvoyant.

Every day that I'm behind the wheel, I glance over at the vehicle driving beside me and more times than not, the driver is staring down at their hand-held device, distracted rather than watching the road in front of them.  I always wish I was a police officer in those moments, so I could pull them over and issue a hefty fine.  I often think that if I was a cop, I'd lead the department in tickets issued for crimes like this and alike.  There's no limit to the amount of stupidity in the world,  It's something that often leaves me scratching my head.  I swear I've worn a bald patch into the side of my skull.

I will grant that having the capability to read your rate of travel and posting the speed along with a self-indulgent selfie, is a pretty stupid option to offer, but I'm sure the genius' at Snapchat, never thought it's application, all they way through, when they designed this feature.  Either they didn't account for the stupidity or arrogance of their users or just plain didn't care.  I would agree that the app should discontinue the Speed Filter option from their program.  I'm sure the sliver of those using the option responsibly, is razor thin and won't miss it if it disappears.

Like the person who gets cancer and sues the cigarette company after decades of smoking.  Some responsibility and ownership of one's own stupidity has to surface.  It's like someone told me once: When you point a finger (to blame), there's three more pointing back at you.  Snapchat isn't to blame for causing this terrible accident.  If anything, they may be guilty of contributing to the continuing negligence of our society.

A Higher Wage for Minimal Work

I just read a tweet on my Twitter account (@ToontownJuggalo) where someone mentioned that they were going to boycott McDonald's until the company begins paying their employees a higher wage.  This decision strikes two chords with me.

Number one: It's f*cking McDonald's.  Arguably, the biggest franchise on the planet Earth.  I'm sure the corporation couldn't give a flying f*ck whether you come to their restaurant to pick up some chicken nuggets or chocolate shake.  They boast (right on their sign) that they've served over a billion people.  Subtracting a handful of well-meaning celebrities, really won't make much of a difference.

Number two:  It's f*cking McDonald's.  At best the company should be a stepping stone to a greater vocation.  To start a job flipping f*cking fries at McDonald's and thinking this could be a career for you, then you may as well take a long walk off a short pier.  I know that for a fast food conglomerate like Mickey D's, you can't rely on the pimply-faced kids to captain the helm.  Some responsible adult supervision is needed, but those should be the guys who worked at McDonald's as a kid, left to go to college, then returned with a marketing degree to man the head offices.  If you're thinking you can support your family while working the drive-thru at McDonald's, then you've got a f*cking screw loose.  Get the f*ck out while you can, dude (or dude-ette).  A McDonald's wage should be suffice enough to put gas in your car, maybe get that T-shirt or skirt you've had your eye on at the mall, or maybe buy a couple of joints.  (That last one is only a suggestion, because let's face it, you work at f*cking McDonald's.)

Tattered Dreams

People say that one should avoid ever meeting their idols, for your perceived idea of who they are and what kind of a person they are, often differs greatly from reality.

I would hardly consider the town of Drumheller, Alberta, Canada as my "idol", nor even in the Top Ten of places to ever visit in my life.  However, the idea of learning shit, especially about dinosaurs, brings out the young boy in me.

I've driven, or ridden rather, through Drumheller, Alberta, two or three times in my life.  I've always wanted to stop and explore, but my travel companions never shared my enthusiasm on the matter.  So when the opportunity came for me to travel through the town once again, flying solo this time, on my way to British Columbia for a friends wedding, I jumped at the chance to stop in the town that had always eluded me before.

Drumheller is said to be one of the largest beds of dinosaur fossils in the world.  A reputation that is not lost on this town.  Dinosaurs can be seen depicting all sorts of colour schemes and elaborate poses on almost every street corner.  Wild colours that would hardly make these ancient creatures blend into the jungle background that once existed in this territory.  The woman at the gift shop was very informative when I was perusing her inventory of authentic fossils and other trinkets.  "This whole area," she told me, "Was once underwater and this creature..."

She pointed to a large fossilized head, approximately 4 feet by about 2 feet in size, perched atop a grand display, "Swam in that body of water.  They grew to be about 60 feet in length, but this skull belonged to an adolescent."  Intrigued by her spiel, I purchased a fossilized tooth that stood prominently out of the stone it was rested in, which I will display prominently upon my mantle when I return home.

In all honesty, I didn't know what to expect from Drumheller.  I knew people must've lived here, but I never realized just how bustling the town actually is.  They have all sorts of shit in this town, including a large furniture franchise (The Brick), a Canadian Tire and even a large lumber yard.  I was pleasantly shocked.  On the surface, Drumheller seems like a sweet little town.  What lies underneath is a completely different story.

Nothing sinister, mind you, just swindling.  Because Drumheller is such a destination spot for tourism, I feel that some of the local merchants may be taking liberties with the economy.  I visited four (4) different restaurants before I was able to locate one whose prices weren't a blatant gouge on the visiting tourists.  The first , was a restaurant called Sublime.  Bells should have sounded off in my head when, at dinner time, nobody was in the restaurant.  Then I saw the menu and alarms really did go off in my head.  I've had the privilege of dining in a few fancy restaurants where the prices were quite high, but you paid for the experience and the ambiance, as well as the well-crafted food.  Sublime was a hollowed out old house, the walls clad in baby puke green and black and was poorly lit, despite the sun shining through the dusty windows.  I quickly made up an excuse and made my exit.  Pork chops were priced at $40.  No f*cking thank you.

Next was Dairy Queen.  I figured I'd opt for a fast food chain.  Decent food for a reasonable price.  NOPE!!  I questioned the woman behind the counter on why the prices were SO outrageous.  "Eight dollars for a cheeseburger?  Add four bucks if I want fries and a drink?  Are you kidding?"  She was Asian, fresh off the boat, I suspect as she had no f*cking clue what I'd just said.  "Eat in or take out?" she repeated.

The owner or manager or whatever the f*ck he was, looked up from his newspaper and called out from his table in the empty dining room.  I don't know what he said.  It was broken English, interrupted by the loud freezer behind the counter.  "I'm from Saskatchewan and the prices aren't THIS expensive.  Is this a Drumheller thing?  Hike up the prices for the tourists?"

"We get from Hea- Office.  You no like.  You go back to Saskatchee-ahn."  I remarked that their pricing was horse shit and once more, made my way out the door.  The restaurant next door, was empty.  I drove down the street and noticed restaurant after restaurant had empty parking lots.  Finally, I came upon the McDonald's and the parking lot was full.  I reluctantly went inside and the place was bustling with a constant hum of conversation from the dining room.  Pricing was the same as it was at home, so it made sense why Rotten Ronnie's was so popular.

Grabbed my shit and headed back to my hotel, where I came upon a "lovely" fella in the parking lot who accused me of trying to hit his truck with the door of mine.  "Sorry." I said, moving out of the way, "I'll move to the other side."

"WHAT did you say?!?" he asked angrily.  "Did you call it a piece of shit?"

"No," I said, concerned with the sudden escalation, "I was just ---"

"It may be a piece of shit, but at least it's paid for!  I hate you chicken shit bastards who utter shit under your breath but don't have the balls to back it up!!"

I was confused and I'm sure it showed on my face.  "SIR!!!  I merely said I'd get out of your wa---"

He didn't want to hear any of it.  Got in his truck and f*cked off.  Now I'm paranoid that my truck is going to get keyed by this angry f*ck, as it's parked way on the other side from where my room is located.

I'm going to get a decent night's sleep (I hope) and get the f*ck outta this place early.  I'm going to stop at the Tyrrel Dinosaur Museum on my way out of this shit-hole town, before heading on to Calgary.  I hope shit improves once I arrive there.  As far as Drumheller is concerned, the town will from this day forth, leave a sour and bitter taste in my mouth.  It would've been better had I bi-passed this f*cking town all together.