MYTHBUSTERS NO MORE

Monday night I was shocked to discover that Discovery Channel has made a drastic change to the team that has made up the Mythbusters for the last twelve-plus years.  A new opening title sequence and credits ran, with a high beat count pumping anthem running along side it, appearing to be more action-packed, with quick flashes and cuts between the two titular personalities, Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage, equivalent to that of a Mission Impossible.  All along, missing from the montage were Kari Byron, Tory Belleci and Grant Imahara, all who have been a part of the show, nearly from it's inception.  I quickly Googled Kari Byron's name and was shocked to learn that Discovery, in an effort to shake things up, released Byron, Belleci and Imahara from their respective contracts back in September, citing "a shake up was needed" as the reasoning behind their dismissals.

In the beginning of the series, in 2003, most of the myths were tested and often busted by the key players, Savage and Hyneman, with some assistance provided by Kari Byron, Tory Belleci and in the beginning, Scottie Chapman, who was a tattooed female gear head/welder, who had also made an appearance once or twice on Jesse James' Monster Garage.  After her departure, Grant Imahara joined the team.

In those first couple of seasons, it was a fun show to watch.  It seemed like real science was applied to a variety of myths, both well-known and some not-so-known.  That's not to say that science hasn't been the base of the experiments in the decade since, but in recent years, it's gotten to be that if any experiment was busted, the trio pictured above, would infuse some sort of plan to add fire power and/or explosives to the mix.  As big of a fan as I think myself to be, I've been growing ever more so tired of the increased folly of it all.

This news broke a little over four months ago, in September of 2014, and right away numerous campaigns were launched by fans to get Kari Byron to return to the show.  Not Tory or Grant, just Kari.  Understandably so, as Kari Byron is one hot redhead.  Can't get enough of her smile, but still.  Is it right to campaign for her job and her job, alone?  Not really.  It's not fair.  On the other hand, does she really need to get her Mythbusting job back?  I say, NO!

Kari Byron was an artist before any of this mythbusting nonsense came about.  In fact, I got an autographed picture from Kari Byron about nine or ten years ago, which I obtained through her art studio, not through the Mythbusters television program.  Somehow I did get the autographs of the other fella's, including Grant Imahara, who at the time, hadn't made his television debut, so I didn't know who the little Asian fella was.  I'm getting a little off topic, but my point is, Kari Byron will be okay, without the likes of Mythbusters or Discovery Channel.  Although, in all honesty, I doubt that Miss Byron will disappear entirely.  I sense that fanatic buzz will get her back onto the airwaves at some point in the future.

Can the show, Mythbusters, survive without Byron, Belleci and Imahara blasting and blowing shit up every week?  Shit yeah, it can.  This past Monday, the show that followed that kick-ass intro to the show, was tremendous.  Testing just two myths based on the Simpsons TV show, one being a cherry bomb dropped into a toilet and causing geysers of water to erupt from multiple bowls; And the second asking could a wrecking ball with Homer Simpson desperately clinging on, actually save a building from being demolished.  I will spare you the outcomes, but the experiments performed by Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage were stupendous.  If you haven't seen this episode, I highly recommend that you do.

I really really enjoyed the newest version of Mythbusters, being that it was reminiscent of the way things were in the beginning, when I was in awe of the science that was used to discover whether myths and legends were plausible or complete bullshit.

Discovery Jumps The Shark, Again

Today marks the official start of Shark Week on Discovery Channel.  The beginning of August, every year for the last 27 years, has been marked with tradition.  Droves of people, all over the world, numbering in the millions, sit with eyes glued to their television sets, prepared to ooh and ah at the beauty and the marvels of all that is shark-related.  Learning important facts that sharks aren't the mindless eating machines that we were falsely lead to believe with the onslaught of the Jaws movies, but that they are actually intelligent and beautiful creatures on a whole.  Am I willing to climb into the chilly waters with these magnificent creatures? F*ck no!  However, I might be more easily convinced to do so from all that I've learned over the years.

In the nearly three decades that Shark Week has been in existence, there's been a plethora of documentaries covering a wide span of topics, all shark-related.  Documentaries included spotlighting the wide variety of sharks, the different regions where sharks exist, the diet of sharks (which may still surprise people, doesn't include humans); as well as the continuing improvement in the science and devices used to study sharks.

Survivor stories of shark attacks, also contribute largely to the documentaries included in the famed event dedicated to sharks, not to mention, memorials of those who weren't fortunate to survive shark attacks.  Honourably so, however, whether people overcame their injuries or not, the shark was seldom demonized.

Shark Week has also brought the malicious slaughter of sharks, via the practice of Shark Finning, in which some countries, like Japan, capture sharks by the f*cking thousands, slice off their fins, then toss the (still living) remains into the ocean, where the sharks, unable to swim, die a painful death by drowning.  If it wasn't for the fact that most of the Japanese culture knows a martial art of some sort, I'd love to punch a few of those motherf*cker's in the face and toss them overboard..! (Too much?)  I digress...

Celebrities from all facets of entertainment and science....  They've all gotten involved in one way or another, over the years.  Most of them, have been under contract with Discovery Channel already, so there wasn't much of a stretch, although I question the need to have the American Chopper guys involved.  Other Discovery alum includes Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs) and the Mythbusters, Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage who also contributed by doing a couple Mythbuster episodes looking into the validity of stunts spotlighted in the Jaws movies.  Those episodes were fascinating.

Most recently actor Adam Samberg (SNL, Brooklyn 99) "hosted", as is actor Rob Lowe (Outsiders, West Wing) doing so, this year.  Comedian, Josh Wolf, is reprising his role as host on Shark After Dark, a show that spotlights and discusses the day's shark documentaries.  Years ago, TV's Craig Ferguson was also a contributor to the "American holiday", by swimming with Caribbean reef sharks of the coast of the Bahamas.  In the documentary, Ferguson joked (halfheartedly) at the premise of being bitten or even devoured by sharks, only to exit the water, emotionally expressing his impression of  his overall experience. "That was fantastic! They are so beautiful." he said, "They're like really big dogs, aren't they?"

It's incredible the wide spectrum of subject matter that this one ocean creature, has garnered over the nearly three decades that Shark Week has existed.  So it is no wonder that the subject may be depleting.  After all, as remarkable as watching Great White Sharks breach the depths, off the coast of South Africa, flying sharks, I'm sorry to say, gets a little boring after a while.  I suspect that our insatiable appetite, as a society, for bigger, badder and more incredible feats and facts, is why Discovery Channel has taken to producing "Docudramas" in an effort to maintain the appetite for all that is shark-related.  Last year, they kicked off Shark Week with the airing of "MEGALADON: The Monster Shark" last year.  The network portrayed it as an actual documentary and admittedly, I was completely enthralled with the program, believing every fact that was presented.  Every interview and every photograph.  I trusted it's every valid claim, wholeheartedly, until the very end, when the show posted that the preceding program was a complete work of fiction.  Needless to say, I was devastated.  It felt like a close and trusted friend had lied to be.  I was completely betrayed by Discovery.  I continued to watch the programming for the week, but because the network had pulled the wool over everyone's eyes with that virtual lump of bullshit, my enjoyment paled in comparison to previous years.  In the months since, I've managed to work past all that, so when commercials began airing for SHARK WEEK 2014, I began to get excited again.

Tonight (08-10-14), I tuned into the first show, "Air Jaws: Fin of Fury", which is a sequel to last year's "Air Jaws: The Search for Colossus".  The program spotlights the continuous (two-year) search for a massive and aggressive Great White that had completely disappeared from the waters off Seal Island in South Africa.  It was and again, a wonderful and fascinating documentary about searching the world's oceans for a single, albeit monstrous, shark.

Immediately following that, another new show, "SHARK OF DARKNESS: Wrath of Submarine", aired.  I read the description provided by my cable box, and the premise sounded intriguing.  It was a docudrama telling the story of the inexplicable sinking of a whale watching boat, that resulted in many of it's riders becoming prey for a 30-plus foot shark, known in the vicinity as Submarine.  Within in seconds of it's start, a warning placard was displayed that explained that the following program is produced for entertainment purposes only.  EPIC FAIL!!!!

Again, Discovery is attempting to blow smoke up our asses.  Producing a telecast of complete fiction.  Ironically, enough, the subject Submarine IS an actual shark reported in the area of South Africa, although it was only after a menagerie of local reporters fabricated the initial story.  They placed a seed into the media to see how gullible people were, and proved that people, as a whole, are dumb as shit.  Even after the prompt at the beginning of SHARK OF DARKNESS, there were live tweets shared on the screen and people were expressing how they would love to witness this shark firsthand.  F*ck me, people are f*cking stupid!  I guess I, or we, should all be gracious that Discovery chose to post the disclaimer at the beginning, rather than the end.  That saved me two hours of wasted time.

Science continues to evolve.  Everyday there are new discoveries being learned.  I don't know why the Discovery Channel can't produce factual programming that investigates that.  Why Discovery Channel can't teach us all, further, rather than spending millions to produce this drivel in an attempt to trick it's audience. Hopefully, Discovery will come to change their ways, getting back to the meat of the matter and steer away from what might ultimately become SHART WEEK!!