Late Night

Late Night with David Letterman.  Late Night with Conan O'Brien.  Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

All three predecessors to the current, all sounded good.  Each talent's name existed synonymous with the Late Night moniker, but the last.., Late Night with Seth Meyers, sounds like an assault on the palate.  Whether it be David Letterman, or Conan or Jimmy,  all the names rolled off the tongue like poetry, but the name Seth Meyers spoken in conjunction with the Late Night title, sounds like the crushing sound of two 1971 Plymouth Fury's plowing into one another.

I'm sure Seth Meyers is a pleasant fellow and quite adept to helm the mantle of the Late Night ship.  He was always enjoyable manning the news desk on SNL, on those rare occasions that I would tune into that show.  I've not watched any of the new rendition of Late Night, nor did I watch any of Jimmy's shows, either, with exception to a fun clip or two shared on Facebook.  I only mention Seth Meyers now because it was on as I shut my television off, roughly ten minutes ago.  It was only a few fleeting seconds of Seth thanking a pretty brunette for coming on the show.  From what I could tell of the brief viewing, is it looks as though NBC spared every nickel possible on providing Mr. Meyers with the absolutely cheapest looking set imaginable.  The desk alone, looks like balsa wood slapped together with packing tape.  It looks so flimsy that it would not surprise me if a violent sneeze tore the entire ensemble apart.

As stated, I'm not a fan of the show.  I don't watch it, nor do I watch Jimmy's show.  In fact, I don't really watch any of the talk shows anymore.  I did try to tune into CBS and Craig Ferguson's Late Late Show, when he was the host, even though he tended to pre-tape his shows weeks in advance.  The humour was still present, but the effort left a lot to be desired.  I have been watching his replacement, James Corden.  Corden has been, as far as I can tell anyway, recording each show on a daily basis.  I've only missed one episode of the new version and thus far, the show is very charming and funny.  

James Corden was one of the ensemble cast of the movie "Into The Woods", a musical that I found to be SO completely over-the-top crappy, that it was (literally) the first movie I ever got fed up with and stormed out of in a fit of rage.  It was THAT bad.  However, since The Late Late Show with James Corden really IS so charming, I've forgiven him for making "Into The Woods".  I still hate that movie more than cancer, though.

I plan to continue watching the Late Late Show, at least until it's not fun to anymore.  As well, I miss watching Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report, so when he replaces David Letterman later on this year, I'm sure I'll be tuning into that (then) two-hour block, every night.  

I watch a lot of television, This is true.  But, I'm a single guy.  I don't go out too often.  I don't watch sports.  My TNA Impact Wrestling is on a channel that I cannot afford to subscribe to, so I have a lot of time to waste before I shuffle off this big ol' shitty world.  May as well have a chuckle or two in the meantime.

EPILOGUE:  I really enjoyed the original version of The Late Late Show was LIVE and was hosted by the late Tom Snyder, who was infamously a newsman and radio personality before hosting the early version of the Late Late Show.  Tom would come onto the screen, just him and another seat.  He'd talk to the camera and ultimately, to all of us watching at home and speak from the heart.  Once in a while, Tom would tell a funny joke, which only the laughter of the crew could be heard howling following the punch line.  Over the years, I've kept a couple of those jokes in my hip pocket, just in case I need an ice-breaker for a new crowd of friends.  The format was simple.  As I said, it was just Tom.  His guest and the odd viewer who was encouraged to phone in with a question for the guest.

Snyder only hosted for four short years, then it was Craig Kilborn who replaced Tom, followed by Ferguson who hosted to ten years.  

Discovery Jumps The Shark, Again

Today marks the official start of Shark Week on Discovery Channel.  The beginning of August, every year for the last 27 years, has been marked with tradition.  Droves of people, all over the world, numbering in the millions, sit with eyes glued to their television sets, prepared to ooh and ah at the beauty and the marvels of all that is shark-related.  Learning important facts that sharks aren't the mindless eating machines that we were falsely lead to believe with the onslaught of the Jaws movies, but that they are actually intelligent and beautiful creatures on a whole.  Am I willing to climb into the chilly waters with these magnificent creatures? F*ck no!  However, I might be more easily convinced to do so from all that I've learned over the years.

In the nearly three decades that Shark Week has been in existence, there's been a plethora of documentaries covering a wide span of topics, all shark-related.  Documentaries included spotlighting the wide variety of sharks, the different regions where sharks exist, the diet of sharks (which may still surprise people, doesn't include humans); as well as the continuing improvement in the science and devices used to study sharks.

Survivor stories of shark attacks, also contribute largely to the documentaries included in the famed event dedicated to sharks, not to mention, memorials of those who weren't fortunate to survive shark attacks.  Honourably so, however, whether people overcame their injuries or not, the shark was seldom demonized.

Shark Week has also brought the malicious slaughter of sharks, via the practice of Shark Finning, in which some countries, like Japan, capture sharks by the f*cking thousands, slice off their fins, then toss the (still living) remains into the ocean, where the sharks, unable to swim, die a painful death by drowning.  If it wasn't for the fact that most of the Japanese culture knows a martial art of some sort, I'd love to punch a few of those motherf*cker's in the face and toss them overboard..! (Too much?)  I digress...

Celebrities from all facets of entertainment and science....  They've all gotten involved in one way or another, over the years.  Most of them, have been under contract with Discovery Channel already, so there wasn't much of a stretch, although I question the need to have the American Chopper guys involved.  Other Discovery alum includes Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs) and the Mythbusters, Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage who also contributed by doing a couple Mythbuster episodes looking into the validity of stunts spotlighted in the Jaws movies.  Those episodes were fascinating.

Most recently actor Adam Samberg (SNL, Brooklyn 99) "hosted", as is actor Rob Lowe (Outsiders, West Wing) doing so, this year.  Comedian, Josh Wolf, is reprising his role as host on Shark After Dark, a show that spotlights and discusses the day's shark documentaries.  Years ago, TV's Craig Ferguson was also a contributor to the "American holiday", by swimming with Caribbean reef sharks of the coast of the Bahamas.  In the documentary, Ferguson joked (halfheartedly) at the premise of being bitten or even devoured by sharks, only to exit the water, emotionally expressing his impression of  his overall experience. "That was fantastic! They are so beautiful." he said, "They're like really big dogs, aren't they?"

It's incredible the wide spectrum of subject matter that this one ocean creature, has garnered over the nearly three decades that Shark Week has existed.  So it is no wonder that the subject may be depleting.  After all, as remarkable as watching Great White Sharks breach the depths, off the coast of South Africa, flying sharks, I'm sorry to say, gets a little boring after a while.  I suspect that our insatiable appetite, as a society, for bigger, badder and more incredible feats and facts, is why Discovery Channel has taken to producing "Docudramas" in an effort to maintain the appetite for all that is shark-related.  Last year, they kicked off Shark Week with the airing of "MEGALADON: The Monster Shark" last year.  The network portrayed it as an actual documentary and admittedly, I was completely enthralled with the program, believing every fact that was presented.  Every interview and every photograph.  I trusted it's every valid claim, wholeheartedly, until the very end, when the show posted that the preceding program was a complete work of fiction.  Needless to say, I was devastated.  It felt like a close and trusted friend had lied to be.  I was completely betrayed by Discovery.  I continued to watch the programming for the week, but because the network had pulled the wool over everyone's eyes with that virtual lump of bullshit, my enjoyment paled in comparison to previous years.  In the months since, I've managed to work past all that, so when commercials began airing for SHARK WEEK 2014, I began to get excited again.

Tonight (08-10-14), I tuned into the first show, "Air Jaws: Fin of Fury", which is a sequel to last year's "Air Jaws: The Search for Colossus".  The program spotlights the continuous (two-year) search for a massive and aggressive Great White that had completely disappeared from the waters off Seal Island in South Africa.  It was and again, a wonderful and fascinating documentary about searching the world's oceans for a single, albeit monstrous, shark.

Immediately following that, another new show, "SHARK OF DARKNESS: Wrath of Submarine", aired.  I read the description provided by my cable box, and the premise sounded intriguing.  It was a docudrama telling the story of the inexplicable sinking of a whale watching boat, that resulted in many of it's riders becoming prey for a 30-plus foot shark, known in the vicinity as Submarine.  Within in seconds of it's start, a warning placard was displayed that explained that the following program is produced for entertainment purposes only.  EPIC FAIL!!!!

Again, Discovery is attempting to blow smoke up our asses.  Producing a telecast of complete fiction.  Ironically, enough, the subject Submarine IS an actual shark reported in the area of South Africa, although it was only after a menagerie of local reporters fabricated the initial story.  They placed a seed into the media to see how gullible people were, and proved that people, as a whole, are dumb as shit.  Even after the prompt at the beginning of SHARK OF DARKNESS, there were live tweets shared on the screen and people were expressing how they would love to witness this shark firsthand.  F*ck me, people are f*cking stupid!  I guess I, or we, should all be gracious that Discovery chose to post the disclaimer at the beginning, rather than the end.  That saved me two hours of wasted time.

Science continues to evolve.  Everyday there are new discoveries being learned.  I don't know why the Discovery Channel can't produce factual programming that investigates that.  Why Discovery Channel can't teach us all, further, rather than spending millions to produce this drivel in an attempt to trick it's audience. Hopefully, Discovery will come to change their ways, getting back to the meat of the matter and steer away from what might ultimately become SHART WEEK!!