Downtown Shopping

Big talk in the city has been about building a downtown grocery store that would service the thousands of downtown residents.  Since the mid-to-late eighties, there hasn't been anything, unless you included the little grocer that existed a couple blocks north of the City Hospital.

The morning radio crew, whom I listen to as much as I am able, were discussing this subject this very morning, peppering their report with jokes, as per the usual.  That's when another long lost memory suddenly flashed into my mind. I suffered a TBI a few years ago and lost most of my childhood memories along with...  Well, to be honest, I've lost a lot of memories, so when something, anything pops into my mind, I celebrate it. This is one of those memories.  I hope I can do it justice.

I remember as a small child, getting up on Saturday mornings and if I wasn't allowed to stay home and watch the pathetic collections of cartoons that our local TV station would air, I'd be dragged into the city to go grocery shopping with my mom and my great-aunt, Chrissie.  The grocery store of choice was at the Midtown Plaza.  The Dominion was the grocery store located at the Midtown.  It was great.  My mom would do the shopping and following her purchase, they'd put everything in large tote bins, place it on a cart and sent down to the basement where we could drive up and pick it up later.

I remember, as a tiny kid, climbing on the chromed barrier that separated the front of store from the rest of the mall, filled with bustling crowds.  The mall seemed much more busy back then.  It's busy now, but not to the capacity it was then.

After my mom paid for everything, we'd tour the mall, visiting many of the stores, before finally stopping for lunch at one of three locations.  There was a restaurant at the (then) Simpson-Sears (later it was shortened to just Sears) or an Orange Julius that was located directly across from the Dominion or the Smitty's that was located to the north of the Orange Julius, just around the corner.  It faced the (then) Bank of Nova Scotia (later renamed ScotiaBank).

I remember if we, my sister and I, were especially well behaved, we'd get a chocolate cigar from the Laura Secord chocolatier that was located kitty-corner from the elevators that connected mall shoppers to the underground parking and up to the (then) CN Towers, which at the time, was apparently Saskatoon's highest skyrise, which is kinda sad by today's standards.

When it was finally time to depart, we'd make our way down to the underground parking.  My sister and I would race to see who got down there first.  One took the stairs (me) and the other would take the elevator.  After locating the car, we'd drive around to the pick up area for the Dominion store, hand over the placards that identified our grocery bins and the young lads would pack everything away in the trunk.

Another memory I have of this experience is when we'd arrive at the mall, my mom with us kids in tow, would head up the back entrance into the grocery store, which in retrospect, may have been an Employees Only route, as I don't recall seeing any other traffic moving up and down those steps other than store employees.  Also, it was dark and dingy, not something that a prestigious shopping facility would be proud to present to the general public.  🤔 Hmm. Shortcuts.

As time pressed on, over the years, the trek to go downtown to shop was too congested and we'd find shopping closer to the farm, namely the Safeway at the newly minted Confederation Park mall.  I never liked it as much, though.

As stated above, I heard the Cruz-FM morning crew, Stacie and Clayton, talking about the possibility of building a downtown grocery store, further discussing possible locations, one of which was the Midtown Plaza.  I texted in and commented on the "Safeway" that was located at the Midtown Plaza of my youth.  Clayton replied to my text with a comment that made me feel ancient, "Little before my time! Sorry bud! - Clayton"  I know that he didn't intend the comment to be as snarky as it sounded, but boy.  That one sent me for a loop. 😟

I was mistaken in thinking it was a Safeway grocer at the Midtown.  It was actually the afore mentioned Dominion.  Safeway was located down the street and one block over at the Hudson's Bay Company department store (aka The Bay) and there was an OK Economy located at the old Army & Navy Department store, a couple blocks east of the Midtown Plaza.  All long lost memories now. 😔

Another report came out stating that over half of the people living in Saskatchewan are under the age of 40.  That being said, all these memories from my infancy and youth are going to disappear completely.  I was able to find some stuff online, via Wikipedia, which means someone gave a shit at some point, and the Saskatoon Library, which unless someone is looking for that information specifically, no one will ever discover it's history.  Sad isn't it?

The Magic of Christmas

 

I remember it was the last day of school, before the Christmas break.  I was riding the school bus, and it was snowing.  Lovely big poofy snowflakes, covering the street and the windshield.  I was so excited for the Season to commence.  There was a true feeling of magic that filled the air.  Intoxicating, in a way, as it filled my thoughts with what might become of things over the next week or two.

I cannot pinpoint the moment when I realized that the magic that comes with the Christmas season died for me.  When I stopped looking toward the end of December with wonderment in my soul.  That feeling of good will being expressed from one person to another, without any expecting anything in return.  Being nice, simply for the act of being nice.  I'm not sure when that all died for me, but it's gone.  Missing from my life and I think it's something that I'd like back.

I remember the week after my birthday (which is November 29th), our family would venture into the city, to purchase a Christmas tree.  This was the first step in creating happy Christmas memories.  The tree would come home with us and spend the night in the bathtub for all the snow to melt off.  The small restroom would be flooded with the smell of pine and spruce.  The next day, the tree would be raised in the corner of the living room and we'd all take turns placing our favourite decorations after my mother had strung the coloured lights.  Of course, I'd be pushed aside by my sister and my mother, as they've done my entire life in regards to everything, followed by the claim that "You're not doing it right!"  Once complete, the tree would be the sole source of light in the living room and whether I played a big part or not in it's decorating, I marveled in it's glow.

Next would come the colourfully wrapped gifts, but because we didn't have a lot of money, growing up, many of the gifts were wrapped in the very same paper, presenting in a somewhat monotone collection of gifts.

Many Christmas' were rung in with Christmas spirits, only it was never the ghosts of Christmas past, present or future, but more so of the alcoholic brand.  Many o' Christmas memories were speckled with arguments and fights, really instilling that Good Will vibe into people.  I don't think that growing up in an alcohol-infused family is what killed Christmas for me.

If I had to guess, it may have been in high school.  There was an event, shall we say, that split up our family.  I moved out of the house, because I no longer felt safe in that environment.  It's a long story and perhaps I'll share it one day, but not today.

I remember being at my aunt's house when I was given a gift from my sister.  It was a T-shirt which I was quite displeased with and threw it back, claiming it wasn't good enough.  The next gift came a week later and it was something else that flipped my switch and I threw that back, too.  It was then that I realized that I was being a supreme asshole.  That a gift is something that someone sees and hopes that the recipient will like.  Having it thrown back in a fit of rage, has to be heartbreaking and from that point on, I changed my tune, as it were.  I would come to accept that second gift, which was a cassette of Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet.  I wasn't a fan of Bon Jovi, but whatever.  It's the thought that counts, right?

In the years and decades since, I've treated the gift exchanges as just that.  I don't honestly care if I receive a gift or not.  The only real gift I get that warms the cockles of my heart, is when I am able to purchase a gift that the recipient shows genuine affection and appreciation for.

Nowadays, Christmas is an occasion for my nephews.  They're young and I don't know if they understand the true nature of what the Christmas season is supposed to be about, but when I'm able to give something that truly brings wonderment to their face, it's magical.  This isn't something that I've gotten from them in a few years now.  In an effort to not create jealousy between the two boys, I try to purchase similar gifts.  I believe that the younger of the two boys, emulates his older brother and by giving similar gifts, I'm avoiding any jealousy or unwanted tension.  Maybe I'm wrong.  We shall see, this year, but the strategy hasn't happened in the last couple.

Christmas is for the kids.  Maybe that's what happened to me.  I grew up too quick.  The magic was lost due to too many birthdays.

When my little boy, Monkey (*Monkey is a cat, for anyone who doesn't know), came to live with me, that first Christmas was the best.  He was asleep upstairs in bed, while I snuck downstairs and placed a cat tree in the corner of the front room.  I returned to bed and we slept the night away.  In the morning, we came downstairs and I acted all bewildered and confused, while he investigated the new item taking up space in the house.  I ran upstairs to grab my camera, to take a photo of him playing with the feather that hung underneath, but by the time I'd returned, Monkey had that feather ripped off the underside of the tree and pieces of feather was strewn all around the room.  The boy works fast, but seeing how much joy he was having with that cat tree, warmed my heart.  That was the magic that I'd lost so many years before.

Nowadays, Christmas is a struggle.  I can't find that magic that I so desperately crave.  I'm a single fella with just a cat at my side.  Maybe I need something else to fulfill my life.  Maybe a special someone who possesses that magic...  Or maybe, magic is just and illusion.