The Great Debate

The subject of men standing versus sitting while urinating seems to be a subject that comes up every few years.  Studies and polls sent out to the masses to determine whether men prefer to stand to pee or to sit.  Personally, I cannot believe that science is still debating this subject after, what I can only assume, are ions. What is to become of it?

I am only reminded of the subject as it was discussed, albeit briefly, on the radio the other day.  One half of the on-air duo, who is male, seemed almost embarrassed that he sat down to pee.  Sensing his uneasiness, I texted in to the show that I was not ashamed to admit that I also sit to urinate.  It's something that I've done for decades and although memory of my childhood is foggy, I believe I sat to pee as a kid, too.  That is, until another chap teased me for doing so.

On the radio, they cited the results of one of science's latest studies, which revealed that in America only 23% of men sit to pee, while 31% prefer to stand.  Comparatively, in Canada, 35% choose to be seated while just 21% remain standing.  While looking up these statistics, I was surprised that the statistics for Europe are even higher.  Germany leads the world in sitzpinklers at a whopping 62%, with Sweden coming in at a distant 50% and Denmark coming in third with 44%.  It's mind blowing when you're not in the least expecting those kind of numbers.

Reasons for choosing to sit over standing varies, too, and they aren't related to the same reasons as why I choose to be seated personally.  I'll explain that in a moment.  Reasons most men do it, in Europe anyway, I was surprised to discover that it was medical.  Some choose to be seated due to urinary infections and other medical conditions.  I would surmise that the choice to stand is purely out of convenience.  After all, it is much easier to duck behind a fence, whip it out real quick and piss in the corner.  Hell, when I was mowing grass in the median strips on Circle Drive, I didn't have the convenience of hiding behind a bush or anything.  When desperate enough, I had a method in which I'd open the door of my little tractor and pretend to be leaning in and searching for something when in reality, upon closer inspection, one could see a stream of urine pouring down on the ground.  You don't want to know what I did if I had to poop. 😂

It was that discussion on the radio that sparked a long lost memory of my childhood and perhaps the catalyst to why I began choosing to sit rather than stand.  As I recall, I was visiting my aunt who had a friend over.  The bathroom was just off the kitchen in the small two bedroom apartment.  I went in to pee, standing as young boys do, and upon the stream splashing down, my aunt's friend thought it would be funny to call into the bathroom.  "We can hear you!" she called with a chuckle in her voice.  The experience traumatized me and I was overwhelmed with shame and embarrassment.  I never stood again, after that.  Not if I was indoors, anyway.  The anxiety from that day, propelled me into a state of constant Shy Bladder, which meant I was unable to go to the bathroom in a public setting if their were other people around.  No matter how bad I had to go, if there were eyes about, I was unable to go.  It remained that way until just a year or so, ago.

As an adult, I had many different jobs, some of which required me to clean bathrooms.  Men's rooms, as you can imagine can be quite disgusting.  It's like travelers don't care and willfully piss all over the place.  What was most gross, though, was the toilets.  Specifically, the outside of the bowl, more so than the interior.  The piss can actually cake on the porcelain.  And ladies, if you go to your man's apartment and take a close look at his toilet, chances are, there's going to be dried piss caked on the sides of the bowl.  It comes from the splashing water as the piss hits the surface.  It was this discovery that made it abundantly clear that when I was going to live on my own, sans roommates and family, that I would continue to remain seated when urinating.

Seems that my choice to avoid standing is a major reason to do so in Germany as a landlord, back in 2015, sued a tenant for €1,900 (£1400; $2,200), the cost to repair a marble floor that had been destroyed with urine.  The case was lost, the Duesseldorf judge ruling that men are allowed to urinate from a standing position, adding that standing is still common practice.  The case sparked a national debate, with another judge, Honourable Stefan Hank, agreeing with experts that the uric acid found in urine did do the majority of the damage to the floor, but that occasional splash back is expected.  They never ruled as to why the tenant failed to clean up after himself, though.  I'm empathetic to the landlord because, yes, urine can be quite harmful and clearly the fact that the tenant couldn't be bothered to grab some toilet tissue to wipe up, is unclear.  I've never traveled to Europe, but in this report it's revealed that public washrooms all over Germany, have signs prohibiting men from standing to pee, for just this reason.

 

In my research to write this blog, I noted that Germany was not the only country to post these signs, but I saw examples from Denmark, Sweden and even Japan, where standing is discouraged.  Where I initially thought shame would be brought upon anyone, like myself, who openly admitted to sitting down to take a piss, I'm not feeling so singled out anymore.  Apparently more men, the world over, are choosing the seated method.  Plus, it's more handy to look at your phone from this position, rather than risking dropping your device into a piss filled toilet or urinal.

In the United States, 23% of men sit, 31% stand.  In Canada, 35% choose to be seated, while 21% remain standing.  So that leaves 46% in the US and 44% in Canada left undecided?  The math does not add up.  What do the other percentage of people do?  Get creative?

It's a mystery for the ages, I guess.  

Saskatoon O. G.

Today marked my first visit to the Saskatoon location of the Olive Garden.  I'd visited a location many many years ago, in Winnipeg with some co-workers, but this was my first visit since the chain opened up a franchise in the Bridge City and except for one hiccup, which I will cover shortly, the experience was exquisite.

I'd recently received some very good news and I wanted to celebrate with a nice lunch for myself and my mother.  She's helped me out in many different ways over the year and this news not only helps myself, but may put me in a position where I can start paying my mom back for all the favours she's provided me over the years.  In the past, she's wanted to visit the Olive Garden and today seemed like the perfect opportunity to do just that.

The restaurant has been present in the Hub City for a couple of years, already, but due to Covid, we've not dared go hardly anywhere in public, let alone a restaurant.  Plus, the lines to get into the premier eatery were lengthy at best and we'd come to an agreement to not go until some of the luster had worn off, so to speak.

Today was the day to try it out and try it out, we did and as I stated previously, it was exquisite except for one tiny hiccup, which I will address shortly.

We had arrived shortly after lunch and the parking lot was almost completely filled, but we found a spot near the front door.  Inside, they told us it would be about a 10-minute wait, but it was more like five minutes.  We were ushered to a table on the east side of the restaurant and we perused the menu until our server came over and explained what our options were.

We both opted for the salad, instead of the soup -- which was very tasty, as well as one helping of the breadsticks.  My mom chose the marinara sauce, while I went for the meat sauce to dip our respective breadsticks into, which came to the table warm.  A slight crispiness on the crust and warm on the inside.  It was delightful.  As for our lunch choice, I decided upon the Chicken Parmagiana, admittedly having to Google what it was before ordering it, and my mom chose the dish as well.  Though it looked very little like the photo I had Googled, it was, however, very tasty and quite filling, I might add.

Midway through the main course, I had to excuse myself to use the washroom.  Our server was very kind and pointed me in the direction of the restrooms and off I went.  I was not prepared for what came next, though.  (It is here where I feel it necessary to point out that what follows was completely no fault of the Olive Garden, but a very bad decision on the part of the patron whom I encountered in the washroom.)  When I entered the men's room, I found a single individual standing back from the urinal, pants down around his knees and cell phone in hand, taking multiple photos of his.... His you-know-what.  I was shocked, embarrassed and very uncomfortable.  I immediately turned to use the toilet, which was thankfully behind a locked door, but that was occupied, forcing me to have to stand at the handicapped urinal next to the "photographer".

At the best of times, I have a shy bladder.  I find it extremely uncomfortable to go in front of other people, especially in a public restroom.  I'm reminded of the time I went to a KISS concert at SaskPlace and was forced to search multiple bathrooms to find a vacant toilet stall in order to relieve myself.  On this day, though, I was forced to try and go, despite the discomfort and awkwardness that was occurring in present time.  The whole process was difficult and I soon returned to my table.

Looking up from her meal, my mother could see that something was wrong and asked as much.  I told her what had just happened and she was, rightfully so, appalled.  I apologized for ruining her lunch, though we both muscled through it like champs.

I never voiced my concerns to the restaurant staff, as what would they be able to do about it, after the fact.  I couldn't identify the fella, other than he had a bald head and a huge pecker, neither of which is a criminal line-up that I wouldn't wish to bear witness to ever again.  Best to roll with the punches and try to salvage the remainder of our lunch.

Overall, the lunch was, as I've stated, exquisite, with a huge capital 'E'.  I tipped our server, Michelle, very well, but the next time I visit the restaurant, I may just avoid using the restroom so as to not stir up any traumatic memories.