A Flood of Tears for the Posthumously Missed

Q:  Do I wanna see the new Russell Crowe movie?!?

A: NOAH!!!

My reasoning for not wanting to see this movie, stems (in part) from the commercial for the film on television. Crowe warns to his family, "There's a storm coming and there's nothing we can do to stop it!!!"  This statement implies that somewhere sometime, people were or will be able to stop rainstorms from coming.  That's f*cking retarded.  If movies didn't cost so much to see in the theater, I'd almost want to pay to see it, just to pick it apart.  Perhaps this would be better subject matter for Doug Benson's "Movie Interruption".

I made this claim at work today, stating that I didn't want to see the film because of this ridiculous warning from the Noah character, to which I was met with an equally retarded reply.  "That's alright." a workmate replied, "The movie is historically inaccurate, anyway."

There was a  great and silent pause following this accusation.  I realize that I work with a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of religious people, but in this day and age, in the year 2014, for someone to believe whole-heartedly that the bible is an accurate history book, blows my f*cking mind.  This is just plain preposterous to me.  So much so, that the only response I could muster up through the bewildered look plastered upon my face, was a low-toned, "What?"

"The movie is historically inaccurate." the man begun.  I cracked a smile, but I saw that he was serious, so I bit my tongue in an effort to avoid laughter.  "From the size of the boat, to his sons wives and.., blah blah blah."  He continued to point out the movies flaws, having not seen it, I might add.  I chose, however, to tune him out to avoid breaking out in a boisterous laugh.  I'm not one who is religious.  Like I said before, in this day and age.., I find it difficult to understand why so many people put so much of their faith in a book that reads like a book of fables.  With all the advancements in science and technology, people still believe that an invisible man in the clouds created all that we see.  Bullshit!!!  But, some folks need a crutch for when all logic escapes them.  So whatever...  Not for me to pass judgement, although it reads like I am.

So to make light of the heavy situation, I interrupted by adding, "And how do they expect us to believe that two of EVERY SPECIES on the planet, conglomerated at that one meeting spot and ALL fit on this boat?  Then they expect us to believe that the animals all cohabitated without incident.  The carnivores never fed on the smaller animals?"  I was dumbfounded, once more with his response.  "Oh no!  That part of the story is true." Again, I found myself bewildered by the statement and able to only muster up a one-word response, preceded only by a deep groan, "Uhhhh... What?!?"

"All the animals that exist today are cross-bred in one way or another.  That part is true.  What isn't true is all the little details.  Hollywood has a way of changing things up just to make a buck.  Hollywood would never put out a historically accurate movie about Noah or any of the bible stories."

By this time, the whistle blew, ending our coffee break.  Everyone filed out of the break room, leaving me alone to replay the conversation in my mind.  It was at that point I knew I had to address this retardation.  Later I joked about it with another workmate and it was through those comments, I knew I had fuel for this fire, but I needed an angle.

"They [Noah] got two of every animal, but they never got Unicorns." my workmate, C___ joked.  I thought about that for a second, and realized.  Yeah!  Noah was able to get two of every animal on the planet, including a male and a female Sasquatch, yet they couldn't fit two Unicorns on-board.  Then I realized what had actually happened.  It's clarity overcame my ever waking thoughts and for me to deprive these thoughts from the masses would most certainly be a crime against humanity.  A crime of such magnitude that it equates the crime that Noah and his family bestowed upon all of mankind for the centuries that would follow.

As the rains poured down and impending doom was facing our heroes who were corralling all of "God's creatures" upon this mighty wooden vessel, the last to board were the Unicorns.  Alas, however, in his complex calculations (which apparently have nothing to do with science and mathematics, but of God's divine will), shelter was not provided to the Unicorns.  Noah's family, not knowing how long they would be floating about on the S.S. Ark, ate the Unicorn.  It's as simple as that.

Even in the time of the "big flood", people knew that when they ate corn, that corn came out in their shit, fully intact.  Unicorn has the word CORN right in it.  Putting two and two together, these simple-minded people, thought that if they ate the unicorn, that they could shit out a fully intact unicorn.  Kind of like the Jesus-bread, where they were able to feed the starving masses with a single loaf of bread.  Retarded, yes, "but it's the bible, so it's historically accurate," I type tongue-in-cheek.

Not to mention the Unicorn's single horn, mounted proudly upon their brow, was (at the time) a known aphrodisiac, and if Noah and his family were to re-inhabit the Earth, they were going to need every ounce of help they could muster to keep themselves in the mood.  There was going to be a need for a whole lot of sexy time.  Not to mention that after forty days and forty nights on an ark, surrounded by (nearly) every animal on the planet, neither man or woman was going to appear (or smell) very appealing.  Hell, I've seen people's looks fade after a long weekend camping trip.  Yech!!!

Noah (allegedly) saved the plight of the platypus, the elephant seal, and even the fabled Sasquatch/Yeti, but ate the f*cking unicorns.  Will this aspect of the great flood story be depicted in the new Russell Crowe movie?  F*CK NO!!!  Haven't you heard?  The movie is historically inaccurate. 

RoboCop 2014

I attended a matinee showing of the new RoboCop movie yesterday afternoon.  There's been a lot of speculation surrounding the newest edition to the franchise.  Many die hard fans are questioning why the classic movie needed a reboot.  Why is the new RoboCop black, instead of the classic grey of the original?  Many superficial queries like this, most of which are unfounded and based on theory and not on actual experience from watching the motion picture itself.  I read several reviews made by private citizens on the website where I got my show times from, many of which contained the information that they had not yet seen the movie.  I question the validity of such remarks and inquire how it is that people believe they can make an educated review on a motion picture that (at the time) had not yet been released?  Furthermore, I wonder how anyone would derive any value from these reviews based on speculation, rather than based on witnessing the film first hand?

Admittedly, I was one of these people when I first learned that RoboCop was getting a reboot.  I would hardly call the original film a "classic".  It was a decent sci-fi adventure when it was originally produced, more than twenty-five years ago, but I would hardly consider it classic.  However, as with all popular films, a reboot or retelling, is almost inevitable, these days.  Past films like True Grit, Planet of the Apes and most recently, Batman and Total Recall have all been reintroduced into the culture as retelling's of the originals.  Even George Lucas did this a few years ago with his Star Wars franchise, only instead of redoing the movies in their entirety, he instead opted to add stupid shit to them, thus making a mockery of his name and forever placing a blemish on the true sci-fi masterpieces.

As for this newest version of RoboCop, for those attending the movie believing it to be a remake of the original, are going to be disappointed greatly.  Even the way that Detective Alex Murphy loses his life is completely different from the original, and there's a great reason for this change, which I will share in a moment.  However, if you go into the theater with a sound (and open) mind, you will come away from the movie quite pleased.  For RoboCop, 2014, is NOT a remake, but a reinterpretation of the original story line.

The gist of it is the same, in that Detective Murphy is killed and is reanimated as the robotic crime fighter, known unconventionally as RoboCop, but beyond that, I like the changes that the film makers brought to life.  They've presented the RoboCop from a much more human point of view, even throwing a question out to the audience of whether or not it is right to fool with Mother Nature in reanimating that which, beyond all accounts, should be dead?

The story told in the film was pretty cut and dry, except for the finale, which confused me some.  They elude to some kind of secret, but fail to elaborate, so the conclusion seems almost fabricated and thrown together as a last resort.  Like the director, Jose Padilha, figured that as long as the sequences were tied together with some extraordinary special effects, that audiences will be fooled into loving the film.

This is not the case.  Up to now, it seems like I'm singing the movie's praises, but in the end I have to admit that it's not a fantastic movie.  I do love the changes to the RoboCop itself.  It's a better actor (Joel Kinnaman) portraying the RoboCop.  It's more believable that the RoboCop would speed all around Detroit on a motorcycle than squeezing his robotic fat-ass into a cramped Ford Taurus (est. RoboCop, 1987).  Alex Murphy, after his metamorphosis, is more human that machine.

The only fail the movie has for me is the overall story line.  It's a bit weak and shallow, not to mention confusing and contrived.  Based on my FOUR STAR RATING SYSTEM, I give RoboCop (2014) THREE STARS.

As for why the origin of Detective Alex Murphy's death was changed so drastically, I theorize that it's based on the rating of the film.  The original RoboCop possessed an R-rating.  The film showcased female nudity, strong language and grotesque and violent images, which included Murphy having his hand blown off by a shotgun and one of the villains (literally) melting from overexposure to nuclear waste.  The newest rendition possesses only a PG-rating.  There's no nudity.  No strong language and impressive but not over-the-top violence.  This allows children to attend then run out afterwards to pick up the new RoboCop action figures.  Film making, after all, is more about business and the almighty dollar, than it is about entertainment.

Proclivity

Many o' thing will pop into my head throughout the common workday.  In order to keep myself alert, I often will sing quietly to myself, or as in the case this morning, hum a (somewhat) familiar ditty.  This morning it was something from The Doors, although I'm not familiar with what it was exactly, nor do I know for certain that it was a song actually performed by The Doors.  I'm not a fan, nor have I ever been a fan of, Jim Morrison.  I don't know why, but I suspect it has something to do with Oliver Stone's biopic, The Doors (1991).

This practice has been a common habit, or proclivity, for quite a long while.  Almost since my first day on the job more than a year and a half ago.  I've often joked that the radio in my forklift is broken and there's only one song that repeats in the disk drive.  My forklift doesn't have a radio, nor do most of the rubes I work with, have the mental fortitude to comprehend even the most basic of humour.  Sometimes I feel so alone at work.

In addition to humming and hawing over a wide menagerie of musical entities in my wheelhouse, my mind also has a tendency to question that which I see around me.  Like for instance, despite the temperature maintaining itself at a painful subzero level for most of the day, why the f*ck was it snowing from about three o'clock on?  The environmental weather is all topsy-turvy today.  Completely illogical.  Another avenue that my mind ventured down today, actually involved the word proclivity.  Although, I will admit, at the time I wasn't a hundred percent certain on exactly what the definition of the word was, but imagine my delight when discovering that it's meaning actually corresponds nicely with this subject matter.  However, here is where my mental skew takes it's ugly turn, as it often does when I'm concerned.  On the other hand..., what the hell?  The English language, for all it's luster and beauty, can be a little intimidating and f*cked up, too, for all intense purposes.

Proclivity [proh-kliv-i-tee] /prōˈklivətē, prə-/. The word is defined as, by www.Dictionary.reference.com as: a natural or habitual inclination and/or tendency; a propensity or predisposition: as a  proclivity to meticulousnes...  In my mind, this inventive word which originated in Latin, actually takes a much more bastardized and sordid meaning, while in my fleeting care.  To me, Proclivity sounds like a communicable disease.  (Example #1) :  "I hooked up with that attractive Asian chick Saturday night, but now, it seems, she's given me a scorching case of Proclivity!!"  Luckily, Proclivity is treatable.

During the final moments of my workday, these absurd thoughts gave me cause to chuckle and smile quietly to myself.  Discovering more creative avenues, I continued on with the harmless charade, knowing full well that I'd be adding this subject to my plethora of previous blog ideas and subject matters.  

In further testing my own creativity, I came up with a second scenario which tests the strength and multiple use of this interesting word.  (Example #2) : "I hooked up with that attractive Asian chick on Saturday night, but I seem to have contracted some sort of a scorching rash!  Luckily, the doctor says I only need a few shots of Proclivity for a speedy recovery."  I wish I could buy stock in the company that produces Proclivity!  

Out With A Bang, In With An OUCH!!

The beginning of 2013 had me fighting a bad case of pneumonia, followed by a few months of worry and concern, with return visits for X rays and CT Scans, following the progress of, what was described to me as a "black mass" on my lung.  That turned out to not be as serious as was initially believed. (Phew!)  Then the last half of December, I found myself sick, again, which I eventually found myself battling an excruciating bout of pneumonia, once again.  That fight took up most (if not all) of my two week shutdown break from work.  Yay!  At least the weather was shitty and cold, so I never had much need (or desire) to leave the comforts of my house.

January 2nd, 2014, was my first day back to work.  While I didn't feel a 100%, I did feel (or so I thought) well enough to return to work.  I knew that there'd be at least a couple of people still gone with extended vacations, but we were down four in actuality.  I managed to muscle through my Thursday, but with a badgering cough that was fueling an exasperating headache.  With every frenzied cough attack, the world would fade through my eyes and the painful pounding would commence.  Thankfully, it being the first day back, my job wasn't too strenuous and was easily manageable, despite the discomfort.

The fight never ceased after the final bell rang and it was home time.  I came home to a snowy driveway, packed with hardened snow that I foolishly took a stab at clearing.  The hard packed snow had accumulated a few days prior, so much so that it blocked my front door, which caused the bottom of the door to bend and tear away, upon my exit on Tuesday.  (Great!  More expense out of pocket.)  The temperature had warmed up significantly, but not enough to avoid heavy breathing.  With my asthma, I find that the cooler temperatures really have an adverse effect on me.  Especially since the discovery of the "black mass" on my lung.  Earlier in the season, with the dropping Mercury, I found my breathing to be difficult and laboured, at best.  This is something that the specialist relayed to me as the norm for the remainder of my days.  (I really gotta win that lottery, so I can retire to Texas or Arizona.  Or maybe New Zealand.  That place looks like it could be kinda cool..., except for all the god damned Orcs.)

Thursday night and Friday morning was disturbing.  It seemed for every thirty minute to hour patch of sleep, I'd be woken up abruptly with a coughing frenzy.  Even in the darkness of my bedroom, with my head pounding hard, my surroundings seemed to fade from my view.  Reluctantly, I contacted my employer in the morning, notifying that I regretfully would not be coming into work.  I hate leaving them in a lurch like that, despite my boss thinking that I do.  I went back to sleep for (thankfully) a very restful hour, before I got up and drove myself to the hospital.  This is something that I really should have addressed over my break, but I had my pal's van while he and his family were on vacay in Florida and I didn't want them to come home to needing to be taxied to my house to pick up their van.  However, I do think that if I'd had addressed my illness in a more timely fashion, my current predicament could've been avoided, possibly.

I was hooked up to a nebulizer, where medication was administered into my lungs.  "Breath deeply." I was instructed by the wee little blonde nurse.  On completion of that, I was ushered to the X ray department to get an X ray done, then ushered back after that.

The beginning of 2013, I fought a terrific case of pneumonia.  The end of 2013 had me fighting the worst bout of pneumonia (or any sickness I've ever experienced, including Swine Flu in 2009), and now, I'm barely ankle deep into 2014, and I'm forced to fight a f*cking lung infection??

I don't subscribe to any sort of religion and you'll never see me crouching at my bedside with hands clenched, praying for this or that, but in case I'm terribly mistaken, if there is a God, he'd better bless me with a substantial lottery win pretty f*ckin' soon.  I've paid more than my fair share of dues in this shitty life of mine.  I deserve a god damned break.  This inability to breath, bullshit, is just that.  Bullshit!!

Are You Kidding Me? There Can Only Be One.

In doing some light reading, I've come to learn that before Christianity swept over the land, however many ions ago that was, one of the dominant religions was known as Ásatrú.  Asatru (Icelandic, "Æsir faith") has been highlighted, as of late, in the Marvel Comic theatrical releases of the superhero THOR.  Although the religion itself, whose actual founding date seems to pre-date any known calendar, was all but obliterated from the annuls of time, has been steadily been revived (and returning to popularity) since the 1970s.

Ásatrú is an Old Norse word consisting of Ása, referring to the Norse gods, and trú, which loosely translates to "troth" or "faith". Thus, Ásatrú means "religion of the Æsir."  Synonymously, terms for Asatru include Germanic Neopaganism, Germanic Heathenism, Odinism, or Heathenry.  The original, ancient form of Norse religion is usually referred to as Germanic paganism, or Norse mythology.

Those who choose to follow this religion, do so by following the teachings of (1) Odin (Germanic Woden), who is the god of magic, poetry, riches and the dead; ruler of Valhalla (Wednesday is a derivative of his name, although I wonder how he'd feel knowing that this is also known as Hump Day?);  (2) Thor, who is the sky god who wields a big hammer, able to control the weather, and enforces the law and the community (Thursday is derived from his name, and rightfully so.  If the movies are any indication, he kicks ass, just as Thursday, my wrestling day [TNA Impact - SpikeTV]).  There's also (3) Freyr, who is the fertility god, also represented with a phallic statue and seen as the founder of the Swedish royal dynasty.  (Yeah, I kinda doubt it too...); and (4) Freyja (sister to Freyr and also Odin's hot wife), fertility goddess of love and beauty and sister to Freyr, known by many names (including Frigg) and patron of families, her name is a derivative of Friday)... (TGIF).

So what is my point to all this?  I don't know.  I kind of found it fascinating.  Fascinating in the sense that although it'd replaced by bible-thumping Christianity freaks in the first have of the millennia (1st Century AD, the 4th Century AD & the 7th Century AD), that the religion been steadily making a comeback.  Ásatrú, the modern attempt to revive the old Norse faith, was founded by the Icelandic farmer Sveinbjörn Beinteinsson (1924–1993). Beinteinsson was a sheep farmer and a priest in the religion, who published a book of rímur (Icelandic rhymed epic poetry) in 1945. In 1972 he petitioned the Icelandic government to recognize the "Icelandic fellowship of Æsir faith" as a recognized religious body and it was done so in 1973.   Denmark and Norway have since followed.

There are other deities related to the faith, of course.  There's Njord, who is the father of Freyr and Freyja,  who is the god of ships, seas and lakes; Tyr (Germanic Tiu), also a derivative of Tuesday, (or as I like to call it, Cheap Night at the Movies) - god of battle, sacrifice and justice;  Ullr, the god of death, winter, and hunting.  (It's also nice to have a name to attach to the blame for all this shitty-ass cold weather we've been experiencing...); and last, but not least, Loki, who is referred to as "the trickster", but as the movie has shown us, he's also the guy with the really bad taste in head wear.  (Hee hee hee, the best part of that Avengers movie..: "Hulk Smash Loki", hilarious!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2fVdNBGTTo).

So is this a viable religion?  To me, it seems to mirror that of the Gods of the Greek Mythology.  One God to overlook one or two things, be it the sea and lakes, or fertility among mankind, or a God for poetry and magic.  Whatever.  If Christianity has taught me anything, it's that they're lazy as f*ck, conjoining everything into one lump sum, and having one God oversee it all.  Ya wonder why your prayers go unanswered?  Because your God doesn't know how to delegate.  He's got too much shit on his plate already, therefore your desire for a new bike or for your sports team to win,  just isn't a priority.  And why are you bothering him with a request for a new bike, ya dumb shit?  As for sports teams, everyone knows that God is a Saskatchewan Roughrider (CFL).  

Is it silly to follow Odin, Thor and alike?  Sure it is!  But no more silly than following Christianity.  I know it's likely that I may catch a little fall out for making that comment, but do I really give two shits about what people who pray to an invisible man who lives in the clouds, think?  I mean, a Virgin Birth?  If anyone tried to pass that shit off, nowadays, they'd be committed to the first available rubber room, complete with a canvass jacket that ties up in the back.

However, given how the ladies all swoon and croon over that bloke, Chris Hemsworth, I think the argument for praising the Norse Gods, really is gaining popularity.  I don't see, myself.  If anyone should be crooned and swooned upon, it should be Kat Dennings.  Now there is a true Goddess.  Meeyow.

First Amendment Infringement

There's a saying: You can't teach an old dog new tricks.  So how does society expect an old dog from the backwoods of Louisiana to change his perspective of the world, especially one who relies so heavily on the teachings of the Bible?

Recently, the Duck Commander family patriarch, Phil Robertson, was quoted as stating some "off-colour" remarks involving gays and blacks, which has raised such a media hell storm, that the Arts & Entertainment channel (A&E) which broadcasts the Robertson's 'reality' show, Duck Dynasty, to act against Phil Robertson and suspend him from future episodes for an undisclosed period of time.  This is hogwash, in my opinion.

First of all, just about ANY comment, when taken out of context, can appear (on the surface) to be belligerent against a whole slough of people of differing faiths and lifestyles.  I recall a comment that former Minnesota Governor, Jesse Ventura made a decade or so ago, in Playboy Magazine, where he was quoted saying that "people who need religion as a crutch".  In passing, this might be offensive to the entire Christian sect, but if you take the entire comment into consideration, it wasn't offensive at all, which referred to religion as: "a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength".  In it's entirety, the former Governor was referring to those in a moment of weakness, use religion as an instrument to gain strength.

The questionable comments made by Mr. Robertson in the January 2014 issue of GQ magazine, have been taken out of context, for the most part.  In his comments [Phil] never targeted homosexuals directly, but lumped all kinds of sin (as determined by the Bible) will not inherit the Kingdom of God. Included in the comment were the sins of adultery, drunkards, the greedy and idolaters, just to name a few, but isn't it convenient that these facts have been omitted from the controversy?

It's a common misconception that gays and lesbians are too overly sensitive, a trait that they often denied, yet anytime a public figure makes an off-handed remark, HOLY SH!T, the claws come out and there's a rainstorm of tears.  It's not often that I would agree with Sarah Palin on anything (if ever), but I DO agree that Phil Robertson's Freedom of Speech is being infringed upon.

Adopted on December 15, 1791, the First Amendment in the Bill of Rights in the American Constitution clearly states the Freedom of Religion as well as the Freedom of Speech.  These days, 222 years later, you're allowed to practice Freedom of Speech, voicing your opinions, just as long as your opinions conform to those of the masses.  It may be because I am Canadian, but this just doesn't sound right to me.

Admittedly, I am not a religious person.  I don't believe in God, Jesus, Heaven or Hell, but if they do exist, I'm fairly certain I'm destined for someplace hot.  That being said, I don't condemn Robertson for his beliefs.  Whatever it takes to be a better person, then I'm all for it.  And while I may not fully support all of the comments made in this questionable GQ article, I DO support Phil Robertson's right to say it.

In the end, I doubt the author of the article, Drew Magary, referred to all of his notes from the interview accurately.  Thus, creating a more controversial article, selling more magazines and promoting himself into the limelight.

I work with a nice woman who happens to be a lesbian.  There are a few bible thumping people who work along side of us who strongly disapprove of her lifestyle "choice" and have voiced their opinions quite loudly.  This doesn't bother her though.  She knows the truth and is happy being who she is.

It's not right for A&E to boot Phil Robertson off the network.  For the most part, the show promotes a good, clean and healthy (despite the ratty beards) way of living.  They have wholesome values which is prominently conveyed to their viewers each week.  Although, Phil dislikes the amount of religion that fails to make it to the air, I'm happy that I don't have to listen to the jargon.  If anything, A&E should learn from CBS's Big Brother debacle this past summer, and simply post a warning at the start of every episode absconding themselves of any shared beliefs and/or opinions stated during the program (or the members thereafter).

The rest of the Robertson family are proudly standing by the family head and have clearly stated that they'll walk away from the smash A&E hit if Phil isn't allowed to be a part of the program.  I love this show and will miss seeing it every week, but I respect their decision to quit and support it whole-heartedly.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks...  I honestly believe that this old dog [Phil] doesn't need to be taught any lessons.  I DO believe that America simply needs to relax and not be so damned sensitive.  Quit being so.... uh... never mind.

Number Two Ain't No Shit

F*CK!  I love that word.  I use that word frequently, though when written [typed], I do choose to censor it by substituting the U with an asterisk (*).  However, saying the F-word, "F*CK", seems gratifying.  Not only that, but I love the versatility of the word "f*ck".  It can be a noun, verb, adjective, or my personal favourite, almost every word in a sentence: "F*ck the f*cking f*ckers!"  It's many uses is covered in an online parody found on YouTube, it's origins are unknown, but who really gives a f*ck? It's f*ckin' funny as all hell. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSEXgQ58AoM]

In all it's genius, the word "f*ck" tends to offend many people, especially the plethora of bible-thumping folks that I work with.  I don't know why, I'm almost pretty sure the word pre-dates Christ, himself.  As if he never screamed out "F*ck!" when they were hammering spikes through his hands at his crucifixion.  I know if it were me, I would've had a few choice words to share, but I digress.  It is only for these few people (at work) that I make the sacrifice and avoid the excessive usage of the F-word.  More for the avoidance of judgemental looks and alike.  Unfortunately, in the avoidance of uttering this word, I find I'm unable to truly be myself, and THAT kinda f*ckin' sucks.

As much as I love to voice the F-word, loudly and proudly, believe it or not, it is not my most favourite word in the English language.  My favourite, may come as a shock to some.  My most favourite word to use is: EXTRAVAGANZA!!!  It's just fun to say, especially when really emphasized, ex-TRAVA-GAN-za.  My daily life doesn't require it's use very often, which may be why I enjoy the word so much.  It's not common and it's definitely not run-of-the-mill.  If I choose to say the word, it's for something truly special, and I don't have many of those days either.

So that was my number one word, and f*ck was my number two.  That is.., until recently.  A few short days ago, I came to realize that there was a new number two.  F*ck had been pushed back to third place.  A bronze f*cking medal.  The new silver recipient was tremendous.

Actually, that IS the word, number two on my list: TREMENDOUS.  I've used it for years, often describing a mishap involving myself.  Like an injury I sustained a couple years ago, from a fall which had me land with a 'tremendous thud', all the way to the present when I last had a migraine forcing me to miss work; "I woke up this morning with a tremendous headache which requires heavy medication..."

On the way home from work, I tried to round out my top five favourite words, but I found myself unable to do so.  I love the word FREE, but I can't decide if it's the word itself that I'm enamoured with or the concept, because I really do love free shit!  I also like the word 'motherf*cker', but can't decide if that should be included with 'f*ck', as it IS a variation of the word 'f*ck'...  I wish there were some kind of verbal guru I could enlist to help guide me in shaping my Top 5 words.

Even now...  I sit back, hands clasped behind my head, looking up into the corner of the room, I can't think of any other words.  Maybe I only have a top three.  Bah.  F*ck it!  Who really gives a shit?!?