Straight Up The Wazoo!!!

I've always stated that the street is no place for bicycle riders. Granted, a bicycle is a mode of transportation, and therefore should not be ridden on the sidewalk. However, in mainstream traffic, they do not belong either.

For one, unless you're a Lance Armstrong wannabe motherf*cker, chances are, your bicycle of choice, isn't going to keep up with the speeds of an automobile. Especially when you consider all the dangerous f*ckers around these parts. Nobody's obeying the speed laws, even your's truly, for the most part.

Just tonight, I was coming home from the grocery store, keeping pace with the truck in front of me. We weren't speeding like demons or anything, but the 50km/h speed limit had definitely been exceeded by about 5km/h, though. Suddenly I noticed the truck in front of me veer dangerously off into the left lane, cutting off a little red Mustang that was keeping pace with me. Then, at the last second, I saw a dumb-f*ck casually riding her bicycle down the street, meandering left and right in the lane I was in. Even if I had been travelling at 5km less than the posted speed limit, I doubt I wouldn't have seen her any sooner. As I stated, there was a car keeping pace with me in the left lane which impeded that route of escape to avoid the cyclist. Luckily the parking lane was void of cars, so I was able to steer clear of the cyclist via that path.

Phew! Lesson learned. In a world already devoid of sensible driver, I now need to be more vigilant behind the wheel and now watch for inane cyclists in addition to the plethora of reckless drivers.

Judging by how close she was to my rear bumper when I steered clear of her, one might think that the cyclist would've been shaken up by the ordeal, but as I pulled into my driveway and looked back, I noticed that she seemed oblivious to the whole thing. Casually, I noticed, she continued pedaling her bicycle left and right in the lane, with a strand of traffic slowed down on her six.

Even now, hours later, I still sit here shaking my head in disbelief. How this poor simpleton doesn't realize how close she was, to getting my gold-plated Honda emblem shoved straight up her candy-ass.