Laughing Aloud

With the advent of the computer age, life has gotten a lot more manageable.  Tasks have become easier and what was once a common skill, such as handwriting, has fallen by the wayside, as typing has become more prevalent.  Unfortunately, the ability to spell correctly, has not yet been mastered.

Also stepping to the fore-front, is the use of shortcuts. Shortcuts and abbreviations, which are handy in some cases, but increasingly needless in most cases.  In the case of texting and tweeting, I often substitute numbers and single letters for larger words, in an effort to squeeze as much thought into the 140 to 160 character space, but one abbreviation you will NEVER see me use, outside of referencing it for this blog, is the term "LOL". 

Where the hell would the world of comedy be, if you had to end every joke with "LOL" or "Laugh Out Loud". I think most use this term as a method to not offend the reader.  "I think you're a piece of shit!  ...LOL."  If the LOL wasn't added, the reader might be offended, but the LOL adds the element of "I'm just kidding".  Complete horse shit!  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand the motivation behind a written sentence or paragraph.  There are millions of books in the world, in thousands of languages, and most of them (if not all), refrain from using "LOL" when trying to make a point of jest.

A friend posted a video of a cute little puppy waiting to be adopted at the local SPCA.  I don't know what kind of dog it is, but he's cute as a button.  Black and white, with one blue eye and one brown.  If the pictures alone don't make your heart melt, the video will.  After viewing the video, I placed a comment on the friends Facebook post, writing that it "was a cruel video because I would love to adopt the little guy, if it weren't for the fact that I'm allergic to dogs," adding that I doubt my cat would appreciate the addition to the household.  I received a response stating that 'it wasn't meant to be cruel'.  I never said it was.

I hate having to explain my comments.  It's a huge pain in the ass, and much of the joviality is lost when having to explain shit to people.  It's like this one friend I have.  You tell him a joke and he just sits there with a blank look in his head.  Then you have to sit down, break down each part of the joke and explain it to him, before (at long last) he laughs, but by this time the joke ceases to be funny.

Far too often, though, I will make questionable wisecracks on Facebook posts, always being met with disdain and misunderstanding.  When did our society become this... this... I don't even know what to call it.  Whenever the LOL is used on me, whether it be text messages or otherwise, I always question the individual to determine if actual laughter was vocalized.  Ninety-nine percent of the time, it is not, to which I scold them for lying.  I did have one friend retract her use of LOL, for a short time, replacing it with LLAR (Laughing Like A Retard).  That's awesome.  I don't know exactly what happens when that happens, but I'd imagine there'd be a lot of drool involved.

Another substitute I got from a Twitter-friend, porn magnate Seymour Butts, was SFIF, which translates to "So Funny I Farted".  I began using that for a short time, because I thought it was humourous, although I have never laughed at something enough to fart.  Pee, sure.  There've been times when a little squirt of urine popped out, but never an outburst of butt gas.

On the rare occasions that I do have an eruption of laughter, I still refrain from typing LOL, instead admitting to "actually laughing aloud".  I think LOL is stupid and will continue to ignore it's use.  What's more annoying yet, however, is when people write it repeatedly. LOL LOL LOL.  This tells me that you're Laugh Out Loud, three times in a row.  LOL in the singular should be suffice.  Anything more, you should be changing it to LHTIGTD (Laughing Hysterically, Think I'm Going To Die), but that's too much to remember for a generation who writes the word "prolly", instead of the word "probably"...

I AM a big user of the smiley face.  I don't know what the motivation is behind that, other than there's not enough smiling in the world.  Then again, it's pretty difficult to smile when you have assholes in the world shooting innocent people, strapping bombs to their asses and blowing up kids, flying planes into buildings, or in extreme cases..., Bill Cosby.  A smile, though, can sooth a lot of tension...  When using the smiley face, the colon : followed by the right parenthesis ), use only one parenthesis, not a whole bunch.  What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?  :))))))  To me, this is a smiling fat guy with 5 chins.  Just looks stupid.  Don't be stupid.

So let's cool it on the over-use of LOL.  If someone is going to be offended by a comment of joviality, then let them get offended.  Chances are, they're too stupid to use logic and deserve to be offended.  At least, THAT'S what I think, and what I think is gospel!! (Laugh Out Loud)