Yep! You read that title correctly. The feeling may not exist every time, but when it's done right, a good hearty burp can feel better than sex anywhere on the planet. My belch of preference is that which accompanies a nice swig of ice cold Coca-Cola. There's nothing like it. Sometimes, if the belch erupts immediately following a big sip, I can still feel the bubbles of carbonation tickling my throat. I swear it's as satisfying as hearing a baby's first laugh or receiving a warm embrace. I love it!!
Granted, maybe I'm doing something wrong, if I feel that burping is better than fornication, but I think I have the basic mechanics of it down pat. It's not something I have an opportunity to do very often, unlike drinking carbonated beverages, but as memory serves, the investment into the sexual act, far outweighs the pay off. I can't speak for my female counterparts, but I'd imagine they would agree. All the snorting, grunting, sweating and what have ya, barely covers that final UGH! Where as, I can sit down drink back a one-plus litre of Vanilla or Cherry Coke and become completely fulfilled for the mere cost of a couple of bucks.
Am I going to pay the price for this admission? Perhaps, but truth be told, there's not a lot of dogs barking up this tree and I doubt there's going to be anyone coming a knocking at my door to try and prove me otherwise.. Granted, I've had quite a dry spell in the romance department, partially due, I'm almost certain, to my affinity for carbonated beverages, but I'm sure a shitty attitude may be a contributing factor, However, no matter my outlook at the time, a tasty bottle of root beer isn't going to judge me based on attitude.
To all the lovely ladies reading these words, who've blessed me with the gift of coitus, once upon a time, I thank you and I assure that you've done nothing wrong. Although, I'm sure you're looking back now with some reservation and disdain. I enjoyed the time we spent together. It was fun while it lasted, but to use that old phrase, "It's not you, it's me."
Granted, maybe I'm doing something wrong, if I feel that burping is better than fornication, but I think I have the basic mechanics of it down pat. It's not something I have an opportunity to do very often, unlike drinking carbonated beverages, but as memory serves, the investment into the sexual act, far outweighs the pay off. I can't speak for my female counterparts, but I'd imagine they would agree. All the snorting, grunting, sweating and what have ya, barely covers that final UGH! Where as, I can sit down drink back a one-plus litre of Vanilla or Cherry Coke and become completely fulfilled for the mere cost of a couple of bucks.
Am I going to pay the price for this admission? Perhaps, but truth be told, there's not a lot of dogs barking up this tree and I doubt there's going to be anyone coming a knocking at my door to try and prove me otherwise.. Granted, I've had quite a dry spell in the romance department, partially due, I'm almost certain, to my affinity for carbonated beverages, but I'm sure a shitty attitude may be a contributing factor, However, no matter my outlook at the time, a tasty bottle of root beer isn't going to judge me based on attitude.
To all the lovely ladies reading these words, who've blessed me with the gift of coitus, once upon a time, I thank you and I assure that you've done nothing wrong. Although, I'm sure you're looking back now with some reservation and disdain. I enjoyed the time we spent together. It was fun while it lasted, but to use that old phrase, "It's not you, it's me."
Inspired by T-Dub
(You know who you are...)
(You know who you are...)
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