As the title indicates, it's been ten days since I reported my experience with Day One of the Calgary Expo, but I will explain the long delay between blogs, hopefully, in this blog, today.
First, however, is my thoughts on the City of Calgary. I know that, like every other city in the known universe, there's a sign at the outskirts welcoming visitors and new residents. A truer statement, this will never be. I barely felt welcome in the City of Calgary, except for Day Three, when I was welcomed into the family home of one of my traveling companions. The rest of Calgary, on the other hand, I received nothing but complacency or rudeness. That was just from the citizens. The drivers, are an experience all unto their own. The sign coming into Calgary should read: Calgary - Like It or Leave It!
When I was going for my driving test to drive a school bus (yes, I'm fondly called "Mr. Bus Driver", by my kindergarten to Grade 8 passengers), the individuals (two of them, as I failed my first road exam) both indicated that Alberta drivers were among the worst they'd ever seen. One even indicated that he was traveling in a southern U.S. state and was cut-off, nearly sent flying into a ditch, by a vehicle bearing an Alberta license plate. So Albertans aren't just shitty drivers at home, but they spread their shittiness all about. But just to reiterate, in Calgary, the drivers seem to be at an all-time high for shitty driving. At one point, I tweeted the Calgary Police (@CalgaryPolice) and asked if they had a policy against texting while driving. They responded by indicating that there was a province-wide law against distracted driving. I concluded back to them that they should let their drivers know.
Drivers and shitty attitudes, aside, Day Two of the Calgary Expo was pretty cool. There were more people there, obviously, than had attended the first day, so it made moving about a little more difficult, especially as I was saddled with a duffle bag slung over my shoulder, in it, a plentiful bounty of (mostly) Mick Foley memorabilia.
I had known the infamous Mick Foley was to attend the Expo, so I tried to psych myself up for meeting him, but when I first laid eyes upon the Hardcore Legend, I panicked and shuffled over to the line up for Trish Stratus. It was much shorter and though she was to arrive shortly, it'd afford me enough time to calm my nerves.
I was supposed to meet Trish Stratus years before in Saskatoon, but due to an injury the night before, she was unable to attend and was replaced by "Victoria" (Lisa Marie Varon) & "Lita" (Amy Dumas). Amy Dumas was also at this Expo, signing autographs and such, but she was extremely rude to me at that meet & greet in Saskatoon, and I've never forgiven her since. Trish was nice, when she finally arrived. Not what I expected. She has a very small frame and dainty features. I shook her hand and as much as I've hated my small hands, they dwarfed hers. I couldn't believe that this, for all intense purposes, "little girl" could throw around all those people that I've seen her toss, in the ring all those years ago, but she did. She's one tough little lady, that's for sure.
When it came time to meet Mr. Foley, I was ushered aside by an orderly, who indicated that it was VIP's only, who were meeting him and if I wished to see him, I'd have to return that evening. I was both disappointed and relieved. So after clearing it with my traveling companions, I returned at five o'clock and waited nearly one hour to meet Mick Foley. I took this time to become one with the world, calming myself down so I wouldn't panic or faint.
Another advantage to waiting for the later event to meet the man, was the prices of autographs went down. In the AM, I glanced at the price list and saw that it was $50 per autograph to get a book signed (I had two books), $40 for any other signatures (I had a wrestling figure) and $40 for a picture taken (with your own device, I might add). That was going to be a pricey visit, I thought, but as it turned out, those were VIP prices and the pricing came down for us "regular" folk. $40 for each autograph or two for $60. I spoke with the rep who was seated there before Mick arrived and he gave me a deal; Two books, a figure, an autographed picture and a picture taken with Mick, all for $120. Essentially, I got two free, and because the dolt working my camera phone screwed up and took two pictures, I snuck and extra, although Mick is already looking away in it. Calgary on Day Two, sucked balls, but it was almost worth it, because I got to meet Mick Foley. I'll try to explain the experience in it's entirety in a later posting.
We'd eventually depart and begin our quest to look for a nice eating establishment. It was the birthday of one of my traveling companions who was excited to have a nice dinner at the Hooters that we'd been passing on our daily treks to and from the Expo. "I'm in the mood for boobies!" she said, or something to that effect. I can't remember because all I heard was "boobies". I don't know who was more disappointed to learn that the establishment had been closed down, her or me. I know I was in the mood for some boobies, too. After much consideration, we settled on The Keg, which is somewhat of an upper scale eating establishment. I felt quite under dressed in my T-shirt and shorts. I don't know what thoughts were going through the mind of the kid next to me wearing some kind of f*cking bird on his head. The prices were outrageous for the minuscule portions laid on the plate, but at least it tasted fine. Mine did, anyway. The server, Trent, was tremendous, Outgoing and friendly, until the food arrived and we barely saw the motherf*cker after that, and when the bills came and he failed to get the gratuity he felt he deserved, I'm told he got outright rude with my compatriots. Birthday supper ruined by a worker with no life ambition.
I would have reported all this last Friday, but for some odd reason, when we returned to the hotel, there was no wi-fi. I couldn't log on to Facebook or even Google, and when I went to the desk to report the failure, the guy behind the counter, instructed me to return to my room and call him to complain. By the time I climbed the stairs back up to our third floor room, the internet had miraculously come back online. By this time, though, I was in such a bad mood, my mind frame prevented me from any sort of creativity.
About seven years ago, I went on a little solo adventure to Edmonton, Alberta. I'd worked and lived in Edmonton years before and never got to do some of the shit I'd always wanted, so this trip was kind of special for me. However, my experience was short-lived as traffic and alike was striking out against me. My planned trip of about five days was shortened to about three. I believed at the time that Edmonton sucked and that Calgary had to be better. This past weekend, with driving about in this confusing city of trails and circle-jerks, I'm proclaiming that Edmonton IS the better of the two cities. There's no confusion there. Get an address and you can find it quite easily without a map. Calgary is quite the opposite. My heart goes out to my friends and family who live in Calgary. They're much stronger than I am. Or maybe their driving is as shitty as the rest of Calgary. Who knows?!?
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