Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Silent Movie

I love going to the movies.  Ever since I was a child, I've found it a calming escape from a life otherwise full of turmoil.  It's no surprise that growing up wasn't the easiest experience for me.  Perhaps it wasn't as terrible as that of some children, but it had more than it's fair share of horror.  So while some kids might get into mischief, I always found it more relaxing to escape into my imagination for a couple of hours, being a fly on the wall of someone else's existence.

My joy of escape can also be reflected in the tremendous library of movies and TV shows in my personal collection.  I've lived in this house of mine for going on seven years and though I've got a ton already alphabetized, there are still hundreds still packed in boxes from when I moved in.  I haven't got the foggiest idea of how many DVDs and Blurays I own, but there's probably thousands of stories that I can dive into and escape my reality for awhile.  That withstanding, the experience of watching a movie on the silver screen has never left me.  I enjoy getting out of the house, meeting up with friends (or sometimes not) and watching a fun flick in the cinema.

Movies have come a long way in the last decade, let alone over the span of my lifetime, and it's progressed leaps and bounds since the days of Laurel and Hardy (pictured above), and the price of a ticket has reflected these improvements.  Seems like the crisper the sound and visuals are, the pricier the admission gets, not to mention the second mortgage one needs to take out if refreshments are desired.  Generally, I'm satisfied with a simple over-priced soda.

Along with the progression of the movies, so has people's personal devices.  Although some people still insist on sparking up their iPad's and other nonsense, for the most part it's pretty good.  A good number of people obey the warning clip that precedes the previews, that suggests people shut off their personal devices.  I've never understood those who insist on distracting themselves with texting or Facebook during the movie, given how expensive movie tickets tend to be, not to mention being so ignorant as to ruin everyone else's movie experience.  And don't get me started on the people who choose to talk throughout the film.  They tend to frustrate me and all those around them, too.

What baffles me the most, though, are the idiots who bring their children.  If the movie is a cartoon or something family-oriented, then bring your kids.  I understand.  The subject matter is aimed at their simple minds, so I'll sit back and try to enjoy myself regardless.  However, these ignorant cusses who drag their six month, twelve month or 24-month old babies to watch an action movie riddled with curse words, gore and mayhem caused by machine gun fire and explosions...  I don't understand.  I get it, that babysitter's cost an arm and a leg, nowadays.  Little Becky-Sue is charging double-digits to watch your little rug-rat, instead of being content with a crisp five dollar bill, but dragging your brat along with you and allowing it to chitter-chatter throughout the film, shouldn't be allowed either.

Tonight, I went to watch the latest Fast & Furious film.  The whole series is a little silly and tongue-in-cheek, but they're fun for me to watch.  Fast cars, explosive action and hot chicks galore.  Ya can't ask for much more than that in a movie, except maybe NOT BRINGING YOUR F**KING CHILD TO THE MOVIE!!!  I tried and tried to ignore this silly little shit, that kept throwing his apple juice on the floor, pulling the hair of the people sitting in front of him or just being a complete f*cking nuisance on his parents.  At one point, I had enough and I stormed out of the theater and approached one of the ushers.  I said to him, "At the beginning of the movie, you show a clip that tells people to shut off their phones.  Then you have one that tells people to not talk, so that the other people can enjoy the movie, but you need to have one that tells people NOT to bring their f*cking babies.  Why is it acceptable for people to bring their kids to a grown up movie and allow them to talk throughout the entire movie??"

The munchkin looked at me, blankly, and replied, "I can look into getting you a refund."  I shook my head with defeat, telling him to shove his refund up his ass.  "I don't want a refund.  I want you to shut that kid up."

Nothing was done about it.  So I clenched my teeth, and watched the remainder of the film.  From what I was able to catch when I wasn't distracted by how much I hated children in that instance, the movie was pretty f*cking good.  I may try to catch it again, at some point down the road, not sure when or if I will do so in the theater.  I'm glad that I have a big screen TV and an awesome sound system.  As I will, for sure, be purchasing this movie to add to my ever-growing collection, and escaping my pitiful reality once more.

I remember going to the movies when I was a kid and sometimes, I was the only person in the theater.  There's something truly special about being the only one in the theater, being able to sit wherever and having the movie played especially for you.  It's as close to heaven as I'll ever get.

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