Kids Say The God Damnedest Things

For a few months, now, I've been driving a school bus.  Not an ideal vocation, but given it's the only company that would hire me after ten months of unemployment, there are worse jobs to have out there and for far less money.   The hours are fantastic, less than two hours overall, but those are dissected by about six hours.  Six hours that I probably should be using more advantageously than I have, but instead I watch TV and or snooze on the couch.  I have learned a thing or two during this short tenure.  I actually enjoy the driving aspect and plan on parlaying this gig into something that pays a f*ck of a lot better.  Another thing I've learned, although I've always suspected it as the truth.  Kids, for the most part, are dumb as shit!!  Whether it's trying to get them to understand how to sit in a seat straight, so as to not fall out or under the seats in the event of an accident or just getting them to keep their clothes on.  Yes, there's one little trouble maker who likes to remove his pants and shake his booty in his seatmate's face.  I often scratch my head in bewilderment, because I've nothing to bang my head up against.

The other morning, though, one of the troublemakers got on the bus for school.  He's not the strip-down kid, but the tattletale who rats out every other kid on the bus, never admitting to any of his own shortcomings.  He sat across from "stripper"-kid and began telling him about the fantastic life that he and his family were about to embark on.

"My mom made a thousand dollars." he told the children around him.  "She made a thousand dollars!  Do you know how much that is?"

The children around him muttered with confusion, no one piping up to tell him that a thousand dollars really wasn't that much.

"That's enough money that my mom is going to buy a brand new car.  And she's going to get a house.  And she's thinking about getting a limo."

I smiled at the innocence and idiocy of his statements, looking on into the bright sun that was blinding my view of the road.

"A limo," he began to explain to those unaware of what it was, "Is a long car.  It's really long and we all sit in the back.  Only rich people get limousines, and that's what we are now, because my mom made a thousand dollars."

There was a short pause, then he continued with his speech, "Yeah.  We're thinking about building a bouncy castle for my birthday.  We might build two bouncy castles, though.  I'd like to build two.  One that looks like a castle and I don't know what the other should look like yet."

It was about this time that I pulled up to his school and the kids all filed off.  I thought about how kids really don't know the value of a dollar, anymore.  They have shit much too easy, these days.  It reminded me of a TV show where the kids on there spoke of how "it used to be in the olden days".  

"If you wanted to watch a TV show, you had to be there at the exact time to watch it.  There wasn't any recording and watching it later." the character said, shocking all his siblings at the preposterousness of the idea.

I guess it's like Art Linkletter used to say, "Kids say the darnedest things."