Penis Butter

 I love Twitter.  I won't lie.  I absolutely love Twitter.  In the beginning, it was described to me as a way for people to share what they're doing with the world.  I thought it was stupid.  Most of my friends and family couldn't care less about what I might have going on in my life, but I would eventually join and my posts rapidly progressed from what I was up to to eventually injecting my thoughts on a variety of subjects.  People still didn't give two shits about what I was doing or saying, but I enjoyed the process, nevertheless.

Eventually, people would clamp onto my words, some positive, but as we all know the interwebs, people seem to grow enlarged testicles and begin quarrelling or trolling me.  I'd fight with some of them, but mostly I'd ignore the ignorance.  One thing about Twitter that I will never change is, I won't say anything to anyone that I'm not prepared to back up.  I do my due diligence on researching, to the best of my ability, the subject that I'm defending.  One of my fondest memories of combating a troll on Twitter, was a tag-team effort between HGTV star, Bryan Baeumler (pronounced "Bomb-ler") and a fella that was adamant about tearing down a Good Samaritan in the Greater-Toronto area.  It was me and Baeumler going back and forth on this individual who was belligerent towards the both of us, despite Baeumler's celebrity.  I'd eventually start calling the man "Arm Chair", referring to the fact that he sat back, dishing out judgement, without ever making an effort to make changes of his own.  I knew Baeumler was on my side, when he, too, began referring to this angry individual as Arm Chair. 😆

I'm currently Twitter friends with a number of celebrities, including some professional wrestlers, but sadly, I've been blocked by a few, too.  I'm not sure as to why, exactly, but I'm sure it had something to do with other people bashing them, then when I attempted to stick up or defend them, they just blocked everyone.  When I discovered that A.J. Styles and Frankie Kazarian were amongst those who have blocked me, I was devastated.  When I learned that Hulk Hogan had blocked me back when I was defending statements that he'd made were taken out of context, he also blocked me.  That one pissed me off and my admiration for him diminished rather quickly after that.

I've also been blocked by a few companies, too.  I've managed to receive some promotional items from recognized companies, like Carl's Jr., who sent me a $40 gift card for promoting their burgers online; from Sunbeam I received a NEW toaster when I complained about the one I'd bought; as well as another company, who sent me a T-shirt and some other knick-knacks when I suggested an improvement to one of their products.  As I'd stated above, I've been blocked by a couple as well.  SGI (Saskatchewan Government Insurance) who blocked me for scolding a fella who argued that people should be able to leave their car's unlocked in their driveway, while warming the vehicle up in winter.  In a perfect world, I'd say "Sure." However, the world is far from perfect and if you leave you're car running, unattended, in your driveway and someone steals your vehicle, then I argued that you deserved to get your shit stolen.  That man got horribly graphic and used all kinds of foul language in attacking me.  Eventually it would stop, as SGI, addressed me, defending his logic, rather than mine, then they blocked me. 🚫

Another company, also the main subject of this blog post, is Walmart-Canada.  I've had a lot (a LOT) of issues with Walmart over the years.  Mostly for their pricing inconsistencies.  To this day, I'm left scratching my head over some...  No!  MOST of what Walmart does.  My issue came one day when I was purchasing some frozen French fries.  One bag was straight cut, while another bag, of equal size, but crinkle cut, was nearly twice the price.  When asked, floor clerks, if they understood my query at all, would return a blank look and a shrug of the shoulders, before turning and walking away.  That's when I went to Twitter and asked Walmart Canada, why the crinkle cut cost more.  They returned an answer that "it was more difficult to produce the crinkle cut fries."  This answer was as stupid as it was illogical and I told them as much, adding "It's not like there's someone who manually cuts each wedge out of the individual fries."  That's when they blocked me.

Many occasions have arisen in the years that have followed and I'm unable to contact Walmart Canada on any of these issues.  Most notably, and the inspiration for this edition of my Brain Matter blog, again refers to the frozen food aisle at the Preston Crossing location of Walmart, which incidentally, is also the worst Walmart in the city.  (Ask anyone and they'll tell ya!)

I bought the 5kg bag of crinkle cut French fries.  $3.97 is the price, while the straight cut fries, also in the 5kg bag is priced at $6.28  Same size, same Walmart brand, yet two completely different prices.  Instead of consulting Twitter, like I habitually do, I asked a clerk who was working in the area.  

I asked her WHY was the two packages of (virtually) the same product, so wildly priced apart.  She just smiled, blank-faced, I knew immediately that English was not her first language, nor did she have any sort of understanding of what I'd just asked her.  I repeated myself, to which she smiled and said, "I like Penis Butter."

"I'm sorry?" I said, asking her to clarify.

"I like Penis Butter.  I buy one jar of Penis Butter.  It cost six dollar twenty-seven cent, and I can get two jar of Penis Butter for ten dollar."

"Oh!" I replied, understanding that she was referring to Peanut Butter, not some sort of sexual aid, although her English was SO broken, that maybe she was referring to dick butter, but I doubt it.  Doesn't seem like something you'd mention to an unwitting customer.

Long story short, no conclusion as to why Walmart charges an extra couple of bucks for identical products.  Then again, if you go to the DVD section, you'll see two box sets of identical shows for two different prices.  I've purchased many videos from Walmart, for the lesser of two prices.  They don't like it, but maybe they ought to concentrate on being less stupid.  Hell, the prices at the Preston Crossing location differ from the other two locations in the city.  Cat treats at the other two are 3 for $6, while at Preston Crossing, they're $2.78 each. 🤔Makes me wonder what they charge for Penis Butter..?

A Hidden Agenda

It's not often that I get to recycle a picture for my blog, but when the opportunity arises, it only makes sense.

As stated in my previous blog, I've traveled from my home in sweet Saskatoon, to the bowels of Hell, aka Regina, for the bittersweet weekend among friends, to commemorate and celebrate the memory of our friend and family member, Darcy.

The last few years, we've stayed at a hotel on the northern end of the city, but this year we've moved to a new spot.  I'm not certain when this establishment was built, but the rooms are nicer, bigger and way cleaner.  To put it plainly, I'm not afraid to sit on the bed spreads while wearing shorts.  The rooms all, from what I've seen thus far, are all generic with practically the same artwork on every wall, but over all, I believe this experience will be for the best.

The location is superb, seated just off a main drag.  There's a decent speckling of restaurants and fast food joints all around, unlike the other place that had a Burger Baron across the street and a Tim Horton's about a block south.  The Burger Baron's food is so sub-par to what should be considered edible, and the walk to the Timmy Ho's is not for the faint of heart.

I got to visit the Carl's Jr, down the street from this Days Inn and though it fell short of my experience when I visited the one in Kelowna, British Columbia, the food was still okay.  The only downside to that visit was the bearded toilet and the creepy albino dude who lurked behind the corner of my booth, readily available to jump out and inquire about my meal.  He asked three frickin' times.

The hotel, costs about the same per night as the previous one did, only this one seems to have a plethora of hidden fees that the other never seemed to have, or at least hid better than this one does.  The room is $128 per night, which by my math, comes out to about $256.  I'm being charged just under $300.  When asked about the extra charges, the quirky fellow behind the desk proudly answered, "Taxes and other fees."

Taxes, I understand.  We can't get away from that, unfortunately.  No matter what a person does or buys, the government needs to have their hand out for their share, too.  It was the "fees" that sparked my interest.  "What sort of fees?"  I asked.

"Well," he explained, "There's the destination fee."

"Destination fee?" I asked, "What's a destination fee?"

"Regina charges visitors a fee for coming to the city." he said.

I found this reasoning, absurd.  "The city charges people to visit their city?  That's ridiculous."  I said.

That sounds as stupid as the conversation with the bank last week, who told me that the bank charges it's customers a fee for banking with them.  Now this city charges people a fee for the "privilege" of visiting their city?  That doesn't make any sense.

"It's to help pay for events like the Exhibition (fair) or Agribition (agricultural exhibition)." he explained, without so much as agreeing that the premise seemed deceitful or devious and no matter how much prodding I made, he wouldn't budge and admit that it was stupid.

I look at situations like this and wonder where I fell short, unable to think up a helpful service that people require then charging them a f**king fee for being so helpful.  I couldn't do such a thing, though.  As much of a scoundrel as I can be at times, I can't be a complete asshole.  I wanna be an asshole, but I can't bring myself to it.  Regina, on the other hand, in addition to being a giant toilet, is proving itself to be every bit the asshole I've always suspected it to be.