Friday, April 1, 2022

Penis Butter

 I love Twitter.  I won't lie.  I absolutely love Twitter.  In the beginning, it was described to me as a way for people to share what they're doing with the world.  I thought it was stupid.  Most of my friends and family couldn't care less about what I might have going on in my life, but I would eventually join and my posts rapidly progressed from what I was up to to eventually injecting my thoughts on a variety of subjects.  People still didn't give two shits about what I was doing or saying, but I enjoyed the process, nevertheless.

Eventually, people would clamp onto my words, some positive, but as we all know the interwebs, people seem to grow enlarged testicles and begin quarrelling or trolling me.  I'd fight with some of them, but mostly I'd ignore the ignorance.  One thing about Twitter that I will never change is, I won't say anything to anyone that I'm not prepared to back up.  I do my due diligence on researching, to the best of my ability, the subject that I'm defending.  One of my fondest memories of combating a troll on Twitter, was a tag-team effort between HGTV star, Bryan Baeumler (pronounced "Bomb-ler") and a fella that was adamant about tearing down a Good Samaritan in the Greater-Toronto area.  It was me and Baeumler going back and forth on this individual who was belligerent towards the both of us, despite Baeumler's celebrity.  I'd eventually start calling the man "Arm Chair", referring to the fact that he sat back, dishing out judgement, without ever making an effort to make changes of his own.  I knew Baeumler was on my side, when he, too, began referring to this angry individual as Arm Chair. 😆

I'm currently Twitter friends with a number of celebrities, including some professional wrestlers, but sadly, I've been blocked by a few, too.  I'm not sure as to why, exactly, but I'm sure it had something to do with other people bashing them, then when I attempted to stick up or defend them, they just blocked everyone.  When I discovered that A.J. Styles and Frankie Kazarian were amongst those who have blocked me, I was devastated.  When I learned that Hulk Hogan had blocked me back when I was defending statements that he'd made were taken out of context, he also blocked me.  That one pissed me off and my admiration for him diminished rather quickly after that.

I've also been blocked by a few companies, too.  I've managed to receive some promotional items from recognized companies, like Carl's Jr., who sent me a $40 gift card for promoting their burgers online; from Sunbeam I received a NEW toaster when I complained about the one I'd bought; as well as another company, who sent me a T-shirt and some other knick-knacks when I suggested an improvement to one of their products.  As I'd stated above, I've been blocked by a couple as well.  SGI (Saskatchewan Government Insurance) who blocked me for scolding a fella who argued that people should be able to leave their car's unlocked in their driveway, while warming the vehicle up in winter.  In a perfect world, I'd say "Sure." However, the world is far from perfect and if you leave you're car running, unattended, in your driveway and someone steals your vehicle, then I argued that you deserved to get your shit stolen.  That man got horribly graphic and used all kinds of foul language in attacking me.  Eventually it would stop, as SGI, addressed me, defending his logic, rather than mine, then they blocked me. 🚫

Another company, also the main subject of this blog post, is Walmart-Canada.  I've had a lot (a LOT) of issues with Walmart over the years.  Mostly for their pricing inconsistencies.  To this day, I'm left scratching my head over some...  No!  MOST of what Walmart does.  My issue came one day when I was purchasing some frozen French fries.  One bag was straight cut, while another bag, of equal size, but crinkle cut, was nearly twice the price.  When asked, floor clerks, if they understood my query at all, would return a blank look and a shrug of the shoulders, before turning and walking away.  That's when I went to Twitter and asked Walmart Canada, why the crinkle cut cost more.  They returned an answer that "it was more difficult to produce the crinkle cut fries."  This answer was as stupid as it was illogical and I told them as much, adding "It's not like there's someone who manually cuts each wedge out of the individual fries."  That's when they blocked me.

Many occasions have arisen in the years that have followed and I'm unable to contact Walmart Canada on any of these issues.  Most notably, and the inspiration for this edition of my Brain Matter blog, again refers to the frozen food aisle at the Preston Crossing location of Walmart, which incidentally, is also the worst Walmart in the city.  (Ask anyone and they'll tell ya!)

I bought the 5kg bag of crinkle cut French fries.  $3.97 is the price, while the straight cut fries, also in the 5kg bag is priced at $6.28  Same size, same Walmart brand, yet two completely different prices.  Instead of consulting Twitter, like I habitually do, I asked a clerk who was working in the area.  

I asked her WHY was the two packages of (virtually) the same product, so wildly priced apart.  She just smiled, blank-faced, I knew immediately that English was not her first language, nor did she have any sort of understanding of what I'd just asked her.  I repeated myself, to which she smiled and said, "I like Penis Butter."

"I'm sorry?" I said, asking her to clarify.

"I like Penis Butter.  I buy one jar of Penis Butter.  It cost six dollar twenty-seven cent, and I can get two jar of Penis Butter for ten dollar."

"Oh!" I replied, understanding that she was referring to Peanut Butter, not some sort of sexual aid, although her English was SO broken, that maybe she was referring to dick butter, but I doubt it.  Doesn't seem like something you'd mention to an unwitting customer.

Long story short, no conclusion as to why Walmart charges an extra couple of bucks for identical products.  Then again, if you go to the DVD section, you'll see two box sets of identical shows for two different prices.  I've purchased many videos from Walmart, for the lesser of two prices.  They don't like it, but maybe they ought to concentrate on being less stupid.  Hell, the prices at the Preston Crossing location differ from the other two locations in the city.  Cat treats at the other two are 3 for $6, while at Preston Crossing, they're $2.78 each. 🤔Makes me wonder what they charge for Penis Butter..?

No comments:

Post a Comment