Retention

 

I was brutally awoken from an otherwise restful sleep, this morning at around 4:30am, with a massive migraine.  Not as bad as some I've had, but far worse than most of the headaches I suffer through on a nearly daily basis. I managed to take something for it, a special prescription given to me by my physician, which usually works, but this morning, it failed to relieve me of any discomfort.  I did, however, manage to fall back asleep for another few hours.

When I finally woke up and got out of bed, the headache was still present, but also, for some strange reason, I was reminded of a girl from my youth.  It was grade school and her name was Ruth.

Ruth was a smart girl.  A very smart girl.  Actually, smart doesn't even come close to how brilliantly intelligent this girl was at that age.  She was kind of a frumpy awkward girl, but a lovely and overly friendly girl.  She was friends with everyone.  The reason she was so intelligent, leaps and bounds above everyone else in our grade and probably all the grades above us, was the fact that, for fun, Ruth had read the dictionary. Front-to-back, from aardvark to zyzzyva, this girl read every word, every definition, every... Everything. She read it all and better yet, she retained every last word.  If any student was struggling with how to spell something or what a word meant, they avoided looking the word up in the dictionary and instead consulted with Ruth.  Everyone did it and one would think that Ruth would get annoyed by all the extra attention, but as memory serves, she was always more than happy to oblige.  It was only the teachers who would get after the kids, urging them to stop harassing Ruth.

I don't know why, exactly, that after all these many many decades, that I would be reminded of a girl that had almost completely vanished from my memory, but I suspect it may be because I need to learn some information to further expand my current driver's license.

In order to qualify for more lucrative employment, I believe that I need to get my Air Brakes Endorsement.  I've already jumped through all the hoops to get to my Class 2, which allows me to operate a bus that exceeds 24 passengers, but I need to overcome that last hurdle, which is a difficult one for me, as I am not mechanically inclined and reading difficulty prevents me from retaining much of what I read.  I can count on one hand, how many books I've read where I was able to understand and remember everything I read on their pages.  For those who are counting, it's two and the dictionary is not one of those books.  (Actually, it's two of Mick Foley's books; Have a Nice Day and Tietam Brown ~ both wonderful books. I recommend them.)

Just the thought of picking up a book or anything, really, is an overwhelming daunting endeavour.  Almost scary, sometimes.  For someone who craves knowledge, it's incomprehensible as to why the mere thought of reading something, especially a text book, is scary.  I don't know if it's the frustration of not remembering or understanding the sentence I just read or what the reasons are. 

I remember when I first picked up the manual for learning Air Brakes and sitting in the backyard in the shade and reading the first paragraph.  Like, six times.  Maybe more and not comprehending or remembering a single word that I'd just read... Six times.  Maybe more.  All this before I bounced my head off the pavement, further depriving myself of mental retention.  Six times, maybe more, and it took me close to an hour before I finally gave up and tossed the books aside.  I've only recently found the manual, when I cleaned out my computer room where, incidentally, I'm currently writing this drivel. 

I spoke with some fine gentlemen, yesterday, who suggested that I watch some YouTube videos.  That everything I need to know for the written and visual exams at SGI (Saskatchewan Government Insurance).  That sounds promising.  I can set aside the cat and dog videos or watching Mike Finnegan f*ck with all his cars, long enough to learn something.

That's the only way I can learn things, is visually, not from reading.  Reading is my mortal enemy, which seems ironic, when you consider how much I enjoy writing.  Believe me, the irony is not lost on this guy, but like the song goes, "I'm a walking contradiction."  Can't read for shit, but I can write halfway decent.  Plus, I don't really compose as much as I simply type out the conversation I'm having in my head with an invisible audience.

I wonder what ever happen to Ruth, that girl from grade school.  What did she end up doing with that brilliant beautiful brain of hers.  I hope all that knowledge never went to waste.  That she's holed up somewhere, searching for the cure to cancer or why people love cat videos so much?  I'm just kidding on that last one, but I hope she's sharing her knowledge and intelligence with the world.  It'd be a shame for us all to lose that spark she had.