Skill Testing Question

At the end of last year, I entered a contest.  In exchange for making a small donation to a charity, I would receive some calendars, each with an eight-digit number that acted as a draw code or an entry into a bank for a chance to be drawn throughout the year for a number of prizes.  There's a daily draw for a $1000, which would be a nice exchange for the thirty bucks I shelled out.  There's also a weekly draw for various trips (or their monetary equivalent) as well as a monthly draw for a new vehicle, provided by Dodge (or the cash equivalent).  It being a leap year, adds one more daily draw, which increases my odds of winning (at least) one prize, significantly...  Bad?

Almost three months have passed us by, and no prizes as of yet.  I check every few days, my eyes scanning through the prize winning numbers, but mine never appear.  Come to think of it, nothing remotely close to my numbers ever appears.  The odds of my winning may have gotten worse.

On the off chance that I do get one of my three draw codes drawn, according to the rules, I have to answer a skill testing question without the aid of a mechanical device.  I hate to think that on the off chance that I was lucky enough to win a $40K automobile, that the prize will elude be because I don't know algebra.  I know it likely would be a more simple adding/subtracting/multiplication number, but back in high school, I never pulled off 100% marks on my math exams, which proves a chance of failure all these years later.

I doubt that officials would allow this to happen.  In fact, I recall one draw that required a mathematical question to be answered at the time of entry and the ticket sales person whispering to every entrant, "The answer is fifteen."

Win or lose, the thirty bucks I invested into this delusion, goes to a worthy cause.  It was for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.  I like boobs.  I've always liked boobs and if it takes thirty dollars of my money to help preserve boobs for future enjoyment, then it's thirty dollars that I'm happy to part with.

I Heart Boobs

I was patiently waiting in line at the Bulk Barn today.  I glanced over to another register just as it's teller stooped to pick something up off the floor.  The shirt she was wearing, was not buttoned all the way to the top and as she knelt, I caught a full view of her ample bosom.  Not to sound like a pig, but I suspect the ship has sailed on that, but she had a lot to be proud of.

Fast forward to tonight.  I'm filing through an employment website, continuing the search for gainful employment.  I come across a retail sales associate at a nationwide department store, The Bay.  They're seeking a Sales Associate for the Lingerie Department.  I jokingly mention it to a friend I'm conversing with on Facebook, adding my love of 'boobs' as a benefit.  To my surprise, she urges me to apply.  I insist that I was joking, but she prompts me to apply anyway.  Facetiously, I though of how the interview would play out.

Interviewer: What qualifications do you feel you possess that would be beneficial to you if you were selected for this position?

Me: Well, I'm notorious for looking at boobs.  Morning, noon and night, it's boobs, boobs, boobs.  I guess you could say, "I love tits!"

Interviewer: PERFECT!!  YOU'RE HIRED!!  When can you start?!?

In a perfect world, boobs would be the answer for all of life's problems.  No gas in the car?  Boobs!  No food on the table?  Boobs!  Credit card bill is overdue?  No problem!  BOOBS!  Trouble in the Middle East?  Boo...  Actually, a nice pair of boobs in the Middle East, might be what the doctor's ordered.

As an after thought, I might send in an application for the Lingerie Salesperson job, just as a joke.  I love breasts, so I feel I'm qualified.  (I had to pause while typing that last sentence, as I broke out with laughter.)

The average age of the cliental who frequent The Bay is....  Golden age, I believe.  I'm a pig.  I'm shallow and yes, I like boobs, but not the old wrinkly ones.  Ample boobs and cleavage would be a benefit of any job, provided you can look without being caught, but "they don't pay the bills", as my friend admitted.  It'd be nice and perhaps they do in Vegas, but in the real world, this isn't the case.

Maybe "soapy tits"... ;) 

Boobs!!

Watching early Sunday-morning TV and came across a dude being interviewed between two programs.  He's the head of a major automotive aftermarket equipment company, whose charity work includes raising money for Breast Cancer Research.  Of all the cancer researches, Breast Cancer Research is my favourite, as I am admittedly a fan of boobs.

Though he did fairly well, it must've been his first time on camera, because some of his answers were a little iffy.  His interviewer, a breathy-voiced female TV personality asking all the questions you'd expect of an interview of this sort.  He, delving into his company's history of funds raised for the cause, last year equating well over $430K.  And when asked if he had anything else to add, he added, alright.

"Remember that it's 1 in 8 women that are diagnosed with breast cancer," he said, though I would question those statistics... seems a little high. "These women are mothers, daughters... They could be friends or co-workers.  Or even a combination of all four."  What a boob...!

I snickered.  He left out schoolmate, so stay in school, girls.  It might save your life or your boobs, at least.