The Most Overrated Band in History

 

I was perusing my Twitter the other day (@ToontownJuggalo, for anyone interested) and came across a tweet from WWE commentator, Corey Graves who mentioned that the Canadian band RUSH, sucked.  I can't remember his exact wording, but the message essentially translated to them sucking.  I concurred, adding another band, which I'll mention later on.

Fast-forward to this morning.  The phone rang at an alarmingly early time, which isn't that late for normal functioning adults, but being that I'm not working until springtime, 8am is too early for this guy.  The radio was playing the Electric Light Orchestra, ELO for short, song "Don't Bring Me Down".  I f*cking detest this song.  It's SO f*cking annoying, I can't believe it was ever popular.  Sadly, it's only saving grace is a part of why it's so annoying.  The chorus chimes "Don't bring me dooown, Groos!  Don't bring me doooown, Groos!"  I don't know what a "groos" is, but thankfully, it sounds like "UCE!", which is a Samoan word for "brother" or "bro" (I've seen definitions referring to either meaning).  As a long standing wrestling fan, I can appreciate the term, as it's often repeated by WWE's resident Samoan members, The Uso's and their cousin, the "Head of the Table", as he's known as of late, Roman Reigns.  The ELO song, however, remains as one of my most hated songs, but it's not the worst song.  That honour goes to the 1980's questionable hit, "Come On Eileen" by the one-hit wonders, Dexy's Midnight Runners. No matter where I am, what obstacles may be lying between me and that radio dial, when the first couple of notes float into the air, I will stop at nothing to switch the station or shut the radio off.  It is the WORST!!  

Growing up, I remember hearing music that I never cared for.  Most of Queen's library would have been included in that category, but later in life, I learned to like it and even love it.  The song "Radio Ga Ga" was one that I remember listening to on the way to school and absolutely detesting it, yet when it comes on the radio these days, I crank up the volume and belt out the lyrics at the top of my lungs.  It's a song hated by most die hard Queen fans or so I've heard, but I absolutely love it.  That Dexy's Midnight Runners song has never, nor will it ever appeal to me.

Earlier, I mentioned that I concurred with Corey Graves' assessment that the Canadian rock trio, RUSH sucked and I stand by that statement.  I've never liked the band, but I can tolerate that garbage.  Mostly because I've been able to change the lyrics in my head, to make the drivel more enjoyable.  There's one song of theirs that comes on the radio, from time-to-time, that I call "My New Brown Pants".  I don't know the name of the RUSH song, but singing "My new brown pants" as loud as I can, makes me laugh.  If I'm unable to change the station, this is a pleasant consolation prize.

Also mentioned earlier, I commented that I concurred with Graves' comment and added another group.  This has been met with much pushback for many years, although, not so much in recent memory.  It's no secret for those who know me.  I hate The Beatles.

I've always laid the claim that The Beatles are (probably) the MOST overrated band in history.  Many, and I do mean many, people have disagreed with me on this subject, one fellow, a former co-worker, even threatened to fight me if I didn't take back the claim.  I didn't and he didn't follow through with his threat.  The only song that the mop-headed quartet ever did that I do, in fact, enjoy and maybe even love, is "I Wanna Hold Your Hand".  As for the rest of the catalogue...  Well, that's complicated.  While I find the band highly overrated, they did manage to write some great songs, which have been (more) expertly covered by other bands.  Motley Crue's version of "Helter Skelter" is a great song!  Aerosmith's rendition of "Come Together" is practically flawless.  As well as many other bands and solo artists, too many to list here, have covered many Beatle tunes and done so with greatness.  The Beatles, however..., not so much.

A year or two ago, I will admit this.  I was watching The Late Late Show with James Cordon who caught up with Sir Paul McCartney in Liverpool and they did this huge Carpool Karaoke segment, touring around Liverpool, reliving some fond memories, finishing with an impromptu concert in a local drinking tavern.  First revealed to a dozen or so, local residents which soon swarmed to several hundred or more, packing into the tiny bar and listening from outside.  I found the whole thing to be overwhelmingly sweet.  Mostly because they hold McCartney in such high regard and had an opportunity to see this living legend perform live in their neighbourhood pub.  It was pretty cool, but I came away from that experience with a tear in my eye and retaining the belief that The Beatles are the most overrated band in history.

I'm not claiming to be an expert on what is best or superior in music, past or present.  I know what I like and I don't mind announcing what I don't like.  I love the Insane Clown Posse.  Most people don't.  Mostly because the name alone, scares them away.  However, when people tell me that I'm wrong for liking them for whatever reason, I don't get upset.  I don't honestly care.  "They suck!!" people say, trying to get a reaction, to which I always reply "It's a matter of opinion" and really, that's all it is.  Maybe The Beatles aren't as terrible as I think.  Maybe RUSH is a great band.  I doubt it, but maybe.  One thing is for sure.  Dexy's Midnight Runners' "Come On Eileen" is the absolute WORST.  That and country music.  I feel sorry for anyone who listens to that horse shit!!

Double Deuce

When the name or term 'Double Deuce' is Googled, a number of responses come up.  First, and foremost, is the name of the bar that Patrick Swayze handed ass-kicking's out in the movie Road House.  Another bar and grill that comes up, likely because of where I'm situated in the world, is the bar I used to frequent years 'n' years ago during my drunken stupidity era, then later on, the meeting place where friends and I would consume buffalo wings or the daily special before taking in a movie on 'cheap ass Tuesdays' at the nearby cinema.  That bar no longer exists.  Not by name anyway.  Today it goes by an Irish name that I cannot recall.

The terminology, on the other hand, defines it as something completely different.  By definition, while it sounds country and/or western, what a 'double deuce' is....  Well...  On second thought.  You be  the judge.  The definition that I read online was as follows: A 'double deuce' is the act of when one person is seated on the toilet, taking a shit and a second person sits on the first persons lap and shits through the space between the first person's legs.  Now I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but, this sounds a little gay and quite a bit more daring than I'd ever care to witness.  Let's put it this way; Super Dave Osborne was an amazing stuntman in his day, but not even Super Dave would try such a daunting feat.  Not even with Genuine Saskatchewan Seal Skin Bindings.

I was visiting my mother's house this morning, helping her change the handle on her front door.  After finishing the task, I suddenly had to rush to the washroom.  On her toilet, there's an apparatus that raises the seat up about six inches.  She's on a waiting list to have a hip replacement and attached the seating device early, so as to get the hang of it before the day of her surgery comes.  Unfortunately, for everyone who visits, they also get to practice pooping as if they'd just had a hip replacement.  Thus was my experience.  After conducting my business, I returned to the kitchen where we'd been chatting.  I marveled in two things when  I sat down.  One was remembering a blog that I wanted to write involving the Zombie Apocalypse.  The second was being reminded of the illustrious 'Double Deuce'.  I quickly explained to my mother, who was not privy to the term, and regaled with the response that it gave her.  Normally, her brand of humour shies away from the vulgar, but she laughed loudly at the premise.  I don't know if she'll share the new found knowledge with anyone or if she'll be able to properly retell the story, but those fleeting moments of my mom laughing and shaking uncontrollably, were all too precious for me.

"Double Deuce" sounds like a country 'n' western term and taking a shit between your buddy's legs is pretty gay.., so maybe what I've said for years and years about country music turning people gay, may be true, after all.  I've always stated that it (country music) makes women think about men in tight-fittin' jeans and that it makes men think about men in tight-fittin' jeans.  I actually concocted a joke from that premise once, but nobody understood it.  After a few confused looks and head scratches, I aborted the premise, citing "It's not funny if I have to explain it to you..."

 Guess it was too intellectual for them, or something.