Wordage

 

I enjoy drafts.  Listening to All Fantasy Everything, hosted by comedian, Ian Karmel, he and his friends draft everything from best Taco Bell items to Favourite Music Videos to Best One Word Movie Titles.  The podcast has existed for many years and they've not lost on topics to draft.  Way more than can be covered in the opening paragraph of some blog that nobody reads.  Suffice it to say, it's something that I've found personal joy in doing my own drafts and sharing them on Facebook.  I've even shared some with Ian and the AFE podcast.  A couple months back, I concocted my own draft, which I shared with Ian via Twitter and he liked it so much, though he never specified it, I think he may (if he hasn't already) pose that as a subject to draft on All Fantasy Everything.  It'd be fun to find out their picks.

Cruz FM, here in the city, also does a draft.  It's done by morning DJs, Stacie Cooper and Clayton Kroeker.  Usually only local things or items from the province are drafted, but it's still fun to listen to and vote on who the winner is.

All this influence and I've come to the point where I'm going to do another "one-off" draft that, to my knowledge, has not been done yet, but may in the future if someone likes it.  Today's draft is going to be my FAVOURITE WORDS.

Before moving forward with my list of favourite words, I feel it necessary to compile a short list of the words I don't like.  Absolutely detest them.  The first word that I don't much care for: FAKE.

I absolutely hate the word: Fake.  It has such a negative connotation associated with it.  I think it's association with professional wrestling is where it garnered the most hate from me.  Reducing the efforts of what those men and women do in a wrestling ring, to "fake" is a slap in the face to their talent and athleticism.

The next word that I absolutely detest and the irony is not lost on me, is the word: HATE.  My dislike for this word is a thousand percent.  It's a word that should be stricken from the books, as it invokes the worst in people.

Another word that deserves to be stricken from the record is the word that isn't really a word.  PROLLY is for stupid people who can't spell probably.  In a world where auto-correct controls all of our communique, it's hard to argue that prolly should exist.  Yet thousands of dummies continue to use it and it drives me crazy.

Last word I detest and probably the most controversial, is the name of a Canadian Resort.  Banff.  I've always, since I was old enough to speak, have hated that name.  The letters sounds for N and F should not be placed right next to each other and as a result, I'm not confident that I can pronounce it correctly and thus makes me feel like a f*cking idiot!!  Change your name!!

This is a nice segue into my draft for the words that I absolutely LOVE.  These are my favourite words and I try to use them on a regular basis because they're fun and useful. 

Number One (and I suspect would be the most popular word): FUCK!  I really like the F-word.  It's so perfect and universal.  There's a video or audio track out there that I'll try to find and post with this blog when I put it up, that goes through all the many uses of the F-word.  From a noun to a verb to adverbs to you-name-it, fuck can be used for it or to describe it.  I use it frequently.

Numero dos: TREMENDOUS, meaning extraordinarily great in size, amount, intensity or excellence.  For example, my love of the F-word, is tremendous.

Third pick is: EXTRAVAGANZA.  I'm not sure why I ever started liking the word.  I believe it started a couple decades ago, when I'd be calling up the local bars to see if they were going to show the wrestling pay-per-views.  Only when I'd call the various establishments, I'd ask if they were planning to show the "wrestling extravaganza" rather than the PPV.  This, to my knowledge, is the only time I really used the word.  To this day, I don't believe I use it for anything other than in the company of a wrestling event. 🤔  Hmm.  Still a fun word, though.

My fourth pick is one that I began using many many years ago, when I would hang out with Dustin K___ and a bunch of people whom I worked with at the time: DISCOMBOBULATED.  Verbiage was big with these guys and when discombobulated came across our purview, we were enamoured.  More so when the word made an appearance on an episode of The Simpsons.  Looking at the word today, I've come to realize that it's not just a fun word to say and use, but it would seem it's also the a state of mind that I frequently experience.  I've had meltdowns in the past, where I was so confused about something that I did a million times but for a few fleeting minutes, I couldn't grasp the logic of how or what I was doing.  I recently had a moment like that at my current job, but after a few deep breaths to calm my nerves, I was no longer discombobulated and was once again, focused.

Fifth and final pick is the word: INDULGE.  I only recently discovered it's charm and grace.  Meaning to yield to an inclination or desire; to yield to satisfy or gratify.  Essentially surrendering to what brings you joy or satisfaction.  There may be too much of that in the world, but in moderation, I think it's fine and people should practice more.

This concludes my Draft of Favourite Words.  That list again:

1. Fuck
2. Tremendous
3. Extravaganza
4. Discombobulated
5. Indulge

I feel it necessary to make a couple honourary mentions, that never quite made the list, although this first mention was on the list for a short while, before being replaced by "indulge".  That word is: MOIST.  The reason I enjoy it is mostly because most people hate the word.  Moist.  Mmmmoist.  Mmmmm... Moist.  It's so fun to say, but more so when you see people squirm at it's mere mention. 😂

Another word would be: FART  The only reason for this one is that the sound of the word also matches the sound that it describes.  It's like the word orange can only describe the fruit that is the same in colour.  They're made for one another.  Much like only fart can accurately describe flatulence.  Say flatulence to a kid and they'll cock their head to the side like a confused mutt, but say "fart", they'll laugh and know exactly what you're talking about.  Plus....  Let's be honest.  Farts are fun.

Haters Gonna Hate Hate Hate

Speaking of hate, I hate the fact that I quoted Taylor Swift for the title of this blog, but don't hold that against me.  That annoying song is a part of pop culture and for argument sake, it fits the subject matter of today's blog.

I'm an avid user of Twitter.  I don't have a high number of followers.  Not many people privy to my unique stance on the world.  In fact,  I'm still yo-yoing in the vicinity of 250 followers, after four years.  I still have fun with it, though.  Trading comments, remarks and praises with my favourite celebrities.  

Once in a while, though, I'm greeted with unwelcome comments, remarks aimed to discredit or belittle me, usually on a personal level.  I generally ignore these comments, but once in a blue moon, a comment crosses before my eyes that I simply cannot leave alone.

One thing that I find most irresistible is my ability to point out the flaws, shortcomings and blatant mistakes that people make.  Spelling errors, poor grammar or general stupidity, I find impossible to not point out, or even belittle, depending on it's severity.

I have a friend on Facebook, whom I continually correct spelling and grammar mistakes.  She thinks I do it out of a need to make her feel stupid, despite my repeated assurances that I don't do it for that reason.  Instead, I do it..., simply because I have no choice.  It's as involuntary as deciding to breathe.  The fact that I point out that her poor education is due to growing up in the city of Regina, Saskatchewan, IS by choice, but that's only because Regina is such a shit-hole.  It's true.  Look it up!

Earlier today, while looking through my Twitter feed, I saw a posting from TMZ that remarked: #Breaking: ATL Hawks star, Thabo Sefolosha, in HEATED scuffle with NYPD officers...  They offer up a video, which I did not click on because, frankly, I don't give a shit.  I did, however, make a quick comment, which was meant as a humourous quip based on the fact that celebrities usually get special treatment over regular folks.  "@TMZ Do the police not know that he's a celebrity? #DifferentRulesForCelebs" is what I wrote.  Less than a minute later, I received a comment from a fellow by the Twitter handle of @prototypekicks, who began questioning my use of the word 'celebrity'.  Back and forth we exchanged comments, each response I received, the more disparaging they got.  I'm not proud of myself, but I deduced that this fellow was of limited education and the meaner he got, the meaner I got.  Unfortunately, when I get mean, I go for blood, getting as vicious as I can.  I go for the jugular, with hopes of offending the party so deeply, they'll give up and leave me alone.

I don't know who Thabo Sefolosha is.  I don't watch basketball.  I barely consider basketball as an actual sport.  Given the terrible physical shape that I'm in, I consider any activity that I can do, can't actually be considered a sport.  Even if I can't do it well, if I can still do it, it's not a sport.  For instance, I'll never make it on the PGA circuit, but I can bang the f*ck out of a golf ball, and therefore golf is not a sport.  That withstanding, the goofball, @prototypekicks, begins giving me the basketball player's stats and claiming that his lack of skill, prevents him from being a celebrity.  Even though, by definition a celebrity is: A famous or well-known person.

@prototypekicks apparently did a check on my Twitter account, as he began attacking this very blog.  Upon reciprocating and doing the same on his account, I gather that he possesses a fetish for sneakers as his photos are overrun with pictures of the gayest looking shoes I've ever seen.  There's no way in hell that any self-respecting man would be seen wearing those shoes, unless it were while performing yard work or shoveling manure.  Hashtag: Ugly as f*ck!

As Taylor Swift croons; Haters are gonna hate hate hate, and I'm certain that this isn't going to be the last Twidiot that crosses paths with me.  Christ!!!  I wish I was paid a dime for every f*ckwad that I exchange words with on Twitter OR Facebook.  I've had to stop following many of my favourite wrestling sites on FB, due to assholes blanketing me with a horrendous barrage of hatred if I say anything negative about the WWE.  

In the end, assholes are going to continue to be gaping assholes, so long as a level of anonymity accompanies their dickishness.  I could care less.  I stand behind every stupid comment I make.  I welcome any backlash that may come of it.  I'm not afraid of any of these simple-minded fools.  Chances are, I could Jedi Mind Trick most of them with the wave of my hand...  Or simply jingle my keys to distract.  I'm not saying I'm better than everyone I interact with on the internet, but DO say that I'm smarter than a majority of them.

"Water's wet.  The sky is blue.  Fact is, I'm way smarter than most of you!" - ToontownJuggalo, to the World Wide Web.