Wordage

 

I enjoy drafts.  Listening to All Fantasy Everything, hosted by comedian, Ian Karmel, he and his friends draft everything from best Taco Bell items to Favourite Music Videos to Best One Word Movie Titles.  The podcast has existed for many years and they've not lost on topics to draft.  Way more than can be covered in the opening paragraph of some blog that nobody reads.  Suffice it to say, it's something that I've found personal joy in doing my own drafts and sharing them on Facebook.  I've even shared some with Ian and the AFE podcast.  A couple months back, I concocted my own draft, which I shared with Ian via Twitter and he liked it so much, though he never specified it, I think he may (if he hasn't already) pose that as a subject to draft on All Fantasy Everything.  It'd be fun to find out their picks.

Cruz FM, here in the city, also does a draft.  It's done by morning DJs, Stacie Cooper and Clayton Kroeker.  Usually only local things or items from the province are drafted, but it's still fun to listen to and vote on who the winner is.

All this influence and I've come to the point where I'm going to do another "one-off" draft that, to my knowledge, has not been done yet, but may in the future if someone likes it.  Today's draft is going to be my FAVOURITE WORDS.

Before moving forward with my list of favourite words, I feel it necessary to compile a short list of the words I don't like.  Absolutely detest them.  The first word that I don't much care for: FAKE.

I absolutely hate the word: Fake.  It has such a negative connotation associated with it.  I think it's association with professional wrestling is where it garnered the most hate from me.  Reducing the efforts of what those men and women do in a wrestling ring, to "fake" is a slap in the face to their talent and athleticism.

The next word that I absolutely detest and the irony is not lost on me, is the word: HATE.  My dislike for this word is a thousand percent.  It's a word that should be stricken from the books, as it invokes the worst in people.

Another word that deserves to be stricken from the record is the word that isn't really a word.  PROLLY is for stupid people who can't spell probably.  In a world where auto-correct controls all of our communique, it's hard to argue that prolly should exist.  Yet thousands of dummies continue to use it and it drives me crazy.

Last word I detest and probably the most controversial, is the name of a Canadian Resort.  Banff.  I've always, since I was old enough to speak, have hated that name.  The letters sounds for N and F should not be placed right next to each other and as a result, I'm not confident that I can pronounce it correctly and thus makes me feel like a f*cking idiot!!  Change your name!!

This is a nice segue into my draft for the words that I absolutely LOVE.  These are my favourite words and I try to use them on a regular basis because they're fun and useful. 

Number One (and I suspect would be the most popular word): FUCK!  I really like the F-word.  It's so perfect and universal.  There's a video or audio track out there that I'll try to find and post with this blog when I put it up, that goes through all the many uses of the F-word.  From a noun to a verb to adverbs to you-name-it, fuck can be used for it or to describe it.  I use it frequently.

Numero dos: TREMENDOUS, meaning extraordinarily great in size, amount, intensity or excellence.  For example, my love of the F-word, is tremendous.

Third pick is: EXTRAVAGANZA.  I'm not sure why I ever started liking the word.  I believe it started a couple decades ago, when I'd be calling up the local bars to see if they were going to show the wrestling pay-per-views.  Only when I'd call the various establishments, I'd ask if they were planning to show the "wrestling extravaganza" rather than the PPV.  This, to my knowledge, is the only time I really used the word.  To this day, I don't believe I use it for anything other than in the company of a wrestling event. 🤔  Hmm.  Still a fun word, though.

My fourth pick is one that I began using many many years ago, when I would hang out with Dustin K___ and a bunch of people whom I worked with at the time: DISCOMBOBULATED.  Verbiage was big with these guys and when discombobulated came across our purview, we were enamoured.  More so when the word made an appearance on an episode of The Simpsons.  Looking at the word today, I've come to realize that it's not just a fun word to say and use, but it would seem it's also the a state of mind that I frequently experience.  I've had meltdowns in the past, where I was so confused about something that I did a million times but for a few fleeting minutes, I couldn't grasp the logic of how or what I was doing.  I recently had a moment like that at my current job, but after a few deep breaths to calm my nerves, I was no longer discombobulated and was once again, focused.

Fifth and final pick is the word: INDULGE.  I only recently discovered it's charm and grace.  Meaning to yield to an inclination or desire; to yield to satisfy or gratify.  Essentially surrendering to what brings you joy or satisfaction.  There may be too much of that in the world, but in moderation, I think it's fine and people should practice more.

This concludes my Draft of Favourite Words.  That list again:

1. Fuck
2. Tremendous
3. Extravaganza
4. Discombobulated
5. Indulge

I feel it necessary to make a couple honourary mentions, that never quite made the list, although this first mention was on the list for a short while, before being replaced by "indulge".  That word is: MOIST.  The reason I enjoy it is mostly because most people hate the word.  Moist.  Mmmmoist.  Mmmmm... Moist.  It's so fun to say, but more so when you see people squirm at it's mere mention. 😂

Another word would be: FART  The only reason for this one is that the sound of the word also matches the sound that it describes.  It's like the word orange can only describe the fruit that is the same in colour.  They're made for one another.  Much like only fart can accurately describe flatulence.  Say flatulence to a kid and they'll cock their head to the side like a confused mutt, but say "fart", they'll laugh and know exactly what you're talking about.  Plus....  Let's be honest.  Farts are fun.

Fantasy Draft

When I awoke from a deep restful sleep, yesterday morning, I did so calling out "Love Is All Around".  Seems strange when taken out of context, but clarity will come later in this blog.  I promise. 

It seems I'd been dreaming about the All Fantasy Everything podcast where the podcasters do a weekly draft of anything and everything.  I've posted stuff about them before and it's always a blast to listen to and play along by drafting your own list.  An even bigger challenge is choosing a draft that doesn't match any of their picks, too.

Yesterday morning, I must've been dreaming about a draft, as when I shouted those words as I was emerging from my deep REM state, I was relieved to have my fifth pick.  The category of the Draft was: Songs You Like Because of a Specific Word or Phrase.  To my knowledge, this has never been a subject of an AFE draft.  Then again, I'm WAY behind on the library of the popular podcast.

All Fantasy Everything is a comedic podcast, hosted by Ian Karmel who is a working comedian and the co-head writer for the Late Late Show with James Corden.  He is a very funny man who I quickly became a fan of when he'd do guest appearances on Chelsea Lately.  A mainstay cast of All Fantasy Everything, are Ian's pals, comedians Sean Jordan and David Gborie (the G is silent). Collectively, they're known as the "Good Vibes Gang".  As always, accompanying them from the shadows is their Super Producer Marissa, Marissa Melnyk.

The show is very informal and unscripted, which adds to its charm.  When listening to the show, I often feel like I'm one of the gang, laughing in unison at all the jokes, both inside jokes (sample platter) and outer. 😂

As with every pick, the cast gives their reasons as to why they chose this or that pick.  As a listener, when I make my draft lists, I lack the space to give reasons, but like sharing my picks all the same.  Some of those I've drafted in the past, include: Best TV Show Themes, People We'd Like On Our Side In A Fight, One Word Movie Titles, and Mikes, just to name a few, the last being a draft for our favourite Mikes.  Mine were Michael J. Fox, Mike Holmes, Mick Foley, Michael J. Pollard and Mike the Dog from "Down & Out in Beverly Hills".

This blog is going to be a Draft of Songs I Like Because of a Specific Word or Phrase.  A bit wordy, but I think you get the general idea.  So here it goes:

Number 1: "Blow At High Dough" by the Tragically Hip. The run time of the song is 4:43, but at 1:49, lead singer, Gordon Downie (RIP), let's out an audible 'wooo' indicating the excitement of singing the song.  I live to hear this single expression of excitement in the song and will shush everyone in the car, to do so.

Number 2: "Take It Easy" by The Eagles.  It's the whole second verse, more so than a single word or phrase.  At the 1:10 to 1:23 portion of the song, Take It Easy, singer Glen Frey sings the words, "Well, I'm standin' on a corner, in Winslow, Arizona, Such a fine sight to see, There's a girl, my Lord, in a flat-bed Ford, Slowin' down to take a look at me."  I'm not sure why I'm so infatuated with those lines, but maybe it's a subconscious thing where I hope that one day an attractive young woman may do the same, by swinging her head around to get a better look at me. 🤔

In doing the research for this blog, I admit, I'd never laid eyes upon Warren Zevons likeness before, for this, my third draft pick.

Number 3: "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon, brought to fame by the movie "The Color of Money" starring Tom Cruise and Paul Newman.  There's a scene in the movie where pool shark Vincent Lauria, played by Cruise, is singing the song and doing the motions for the line, "His hair was perfect."  The whole line is "I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada from Trader Vic's, His hair was perfect."  The song is only 3:25 in length and you have to listen to almost the entire song to hear this line (at 2:55), but it's totally worth it.

Number 4: "Paradise By The Dashboard Lights".  The song is a lengthy 8:23 and the line I love is near the end, at the 5:10 mark.  I could write an entire blog about this one song in particular and may do so at some point down the road, but today, I'm concentrating on the line, "So now I'm praying for the end of time." 😂  After being relentlessly nagged by his partner to declare his intentions to her, he blows up and swears that he'll love her until the 'end of time'.  Then realizing what he'd just agreed to, he now prays to the God above to bring about the end of time, so he doesn't have to live another minute with this nagging b-i-t-c-h, is essentially the message there.  Nearly every time I hear this song, I burst out laughing at this sentiment.  Meatloaf was such a good actor, even in the video, captured above, the Oh Shit! look on his face, is priceless.

Now we come to Draft Pick Number 5:  The song that woke me from a sound sleep so I could complete my draft; The song was nominated for an Academy Award and it's from the movie "Four Weddings and a Funeral".  The song is called "Love Is All Around". The song is by the British pop group, Wet Wet Wet and besides residing as my number 5 draft pick, it also holds a special place in my heart.  

Years ago, my sister was about to get married to her first husband and they were struggling to find a song for their first dance as husband and wife.  My sister wanted that Celine Dion song from Titanic, but was quickly talked out of it as it would indicate that her love would go on after the demise of her partner.  Although my sisters marriage would eventually come to a tumultuous demise, that love ended right there and then.  I can't remember what song they eventually settled on.  Probably some piece of shit country song.  I really don't remember, however I took it upon myself, at that time, to find a "first dance" song of my own, just in case I was ever so fortunate to get married and the song I settled on, was and is, "Love Is All Around" by Wet Wet Wet.  It's truly a beautiful song and like the Tragically Hip song mentioned before, there's an expression of excitement in the singers voice.  It comes at the 3:04 mark of the 4:15 song.  Between verses, the singer lets out a "YEAH!"  I love it and I love the song.

This concludes my draft pick of "Songs I Like Because of a Specific Word or Phrase".  I'd like to extend a hearty thank you out to Ian Karmel and the rest of the "Good Vibes Gang" at the All Fantasy Everything Podcast.  Thank you for always making me laugh, smile and make draft lists of my own.  I truly feel like one of the gang, even though I will likely never have the privilege of meeting any of you in person.  I appreciate you all the same.

Here are the YouTube links to the videos of the songs I listed.  I hope this works.  I f**king suck at this technical shit.  If they don't work, then copy and paste them.  That ought to work... Maybe? 😕

1. Blow At High Dough - Tragically Hip

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGRNEJiD3PY

2. Take It Easy - The Eagles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrWUlc46dQ0

3. Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qae25976UgA

4. Paradise By The Dashboard Light - Meatloaf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11MzbEcHlw

5. Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3gEkwhdXUE

Best Mates

 

Happened to wake up early to hear my favourite morning radio duo discussing, of all things, favourite condiments.  Clayton confessed that he doesn't like ketchup or mustard, and as much as it shouldn't bother me, I was genuinely concerned.  So much so, I took to Twitter, my preferred mode of communication with the world, and tweeted into the radio station asking "who hurt him"? 😁

Truth be known, I've met quite a few people who hate the popular duo, Ketchup and Mustard.  I have one friend who actually complained to BK when he bought a burger and it automatically came with dabs of ketchup and mustard.  As if this was unexpected.  At best, one can assume that a burger of any sort will likely come with one or both of the condiments.

I like ketchup and mustard, but for reasons other than what most would expect.  I've made the claim for, what can be estimated as, decades, that ketchup is the perfect condiment, because no matter how bad something tastes, if you add enough ketchup, it'll taste better.  Case and point: Burger King's Black Burger.

I've never actually tasted the mysterious burger, not for a lack of trying.  When I requested it from my local BK, they cocked their head to the side, like a confused mutt, and had no clue what the heck I was talking about.  That being said, if the burger did actually taste horrible, ketchup would be the hero, swooping in like Spider-Man in the nick of time, to save the meal.

When it comes to condiments, I'm kinda particular.  In my house, you'll never see a bottle of Heinz ketchup. I don't particularly care for the taste of it. Too salty.  French's is my go-to, as is the mustard, only I lean more towards the Sweet Onion flavoured mustard.  I also like adding mayonnaise to my burgers and dogs.  Any mayo is good, but Heinz's Seriously Good Mayonnaise isn't just a marketing ploy. It actually tastes damn good. 😋

I realize that this statement may strike up another popular debate: What are acceptable condiments to add to a hotdog?  It's been my experience that most people frown on and absolutely reject ketchup being added to a dog.  I march to the beat of a different drum, as I not only add both ketchup and mustard to my hotdogs, but I also like to slather a layer of mayo on my bun, too.  Again, because it's not always known what ingredients are in the wiener.  One time, as a kid, I bit into a hotdog and my bite was interrupted by a knuckle.  No lie.  It was a piece of cartilage and as a result, I avoided eating hotdogs until later in my adult life.  Ketchup can cover the disgusting taste of a lot of things, but even Superman, himself, couldn't have saved that hotdog. 😣

In researching this blog, this morning, I came across a blurb from NBC News about a Florida Bistro who outright refuses it's patrons the option of having ketchup on their food.  "Anyone above the age of ten, won't get any ketchup on their food."  Not even on a side of french fries, the article read.  Patrons of the bistro, put absolute faith in the food preppers and accept the ban.  That says to me that they think kids under the age of ten aren't smart enough to know that ketchup is disgusting, but then again, if you look at the state of education in Florida, the state doesn't even believe in actual science, either, so their credibility has no bearing on anything.

I enjoy listening to the All Fantasy Everything Podcast hosted by Late Late Show writer and comedian, Ian Karmel.  I believe he and his friends/guests did a Fantasy Draft early on in the podcast, on condiments.  Wanting to participate in the fun, I always make my own draft, sharing it with them via Twitter and Facebook.  I know that I did one up, but I can't remember what my list of condiments were.  However, if put on the spot today, I think my choices would be as follows.

1. Ketchup
2. Mustard
3. Baconnaise (bacon-flavoured mayo)
4. Smoked Applewood Bourbon BBQ sauce
5. Bacon (you can never have too much bacon)

This is a debate that will go on for ever, much like the argument about whether or not a hotdog is a sandwich.  FYI, it's not.  It just isn't. Sorry-not-sorry, but that's a subject for another day.  Today I'm going to leave you with this final thought.  I recently saw this on TV.  It may have been spotlighted on Colbert, I can't remember, but the sandwich looks absolutely amazing and I doubt with all my heart that it would require any outside influence by ketchup or superhero.

Ladies and gentleman.  Allow me to introduce you to the Hotdog Burger.  Near as I can tell, it's one pound of seasoned hamburger placed on a double-long hotdog bun, with two slices of cheese (although I think I'd add two more).  It's probably a train wreck to eat, but I'm up to the challenge.  Who's with me?