Intolerance

There was a time when just the sound of Tracy Morgan's voice made me want to punch a kitten.  I could barely sit through a commercial, let alone any of his SNL skits, without wanting to lash out in an effort to stop the offensive onslaught that was attacking my mental status.  Movies were definitely avoided, when possible. Watching "The Longest Yard" and "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" had me at my wit's end, and being such a huge Kevin Smith fan, it I managed to white-knuckle it through "Cop Out".  Thankfully, throughout the last few years of Tracy Morgan exposure in mainstream media, I've avoided the urge to punch a kitten.  It's not been easy, but I've survived the anguish and turmoil.  

It's not been until lately, maybe the last year or so, where my mental anguish has subsided.  When Tracy Morgan's offensive tones are overheard by my overly sensitive ears, I no longer fantasize about inflicting violent tendencies on juvenile felines.  Through the magic that is the Howard Stern Show on Sirius Satellite Radio, the many on-air interviews that Howard has done with Tracy Morgan over the years, I've learned to, not only accept Tracy Morgan's voice, but even become a fan of sorts.  I understand the man, a little more, and appreciate his unique brand of comedy.  I'd even surmise that when I learn that he's going to be on the program that day, I sit up in my seat a little more, and look forward to the experience.

Dumb Ass

I'm not a fan of Justin Bieber by any means.  I find him quite annoying and after seeing a video of him blowin' off a fan a couple of years ago, I've since thought of him as a prissy prick prima donna, citing "If it weren't for those fans, you'd be a f*ckin' nobody, lost somewhere in Canada.  However, with all that said and done, I gotta give credit where credit is due.

I'm in no way praising his musical prowess, as I doubt he's very musical, or able to sing very well.  I must take this opportunity to say, though, that I have no f*cking idea what the hell he sings, nor could I accurately identify any of his songs if I were to hear them on the radio. (Thank god for satellite radio and Howard Stern, for sparing me from hearing the waves of bubblegum shit that's considered "music" nowadays.)  I did see him perform on New Year's Eve, but thankfully the hosts of the party I was at, had the volume turned down, and I was only forced to see this self-indulgent little shit dance around like a cheerleader.  All that being said, I did say I was going to give "credit where credit was due"..

Credit where credit is due.  Actually, as it turns out, he's free and clear of receiving the credit or the blame for what happened (in his name) on New Year's Day.  Apparently, the pop star, overcompensating for his short stature, five foot six inches, owns a flashy new Ferrari, which was seen racing about the streets and freeways of Los Angeles.  Hot on it's tail was a paparazzi photographer with high hopes of catching the dwarf-like crooner in a compromising situation.  Sure enough, the CHP (California Highway Police) pulled the Italian sports car over.  Turns out neither the driver nor the co-pilot were Justin Bieber, but rather a couple of his douche bag coat tail riders who were out for a joyride.  Unbeknownst to the paparazzo who was bootin' it across the busy highway to get a better angle for his photograph, wound up getting schmucked by an oncoming automobile and killed.

So I've seen in the media and heard on the radio, that people are trying to blame Justin Bieber for this fool getting his ass rundown.  What the f*ck?!?  Motherf*ckin' Bieber wasn't even there!  Granted Bieber is useless as f*ck, but why blame the kid for someone else being a f*ckin' moron?  Over a f*cking picture of a kid getting a speeding ticket.  I've gotten more than my fair share of speeding tickets since getting my driver's license, and while I'm not saying I'm a teen pop star with whom all the kiddies wanna get with, if some stupid son-of-a-bitch got laid out by a Buick while I was stopped for a ticket, their death would not be my responsibility.  Nor should Bieber get blamed for this idiot's death.

The f*cker (photographer) should've known the risks of having such a cheese ball job and chasing after celebrities, so if the f*cker dies (which he did), then the f*cker dies.  It's as simple as that.  To quote yesterday's blog, "Que Sera Sera, Whatever will be, will be".  More simply put, if you're gonna be dumb, then chances are..., you're gonna die.  Dumbass!!!

The Little Tramp

I had some time to kill before going into my doctors appointment today, so I took the opportunity to continue listening to the Howard Stern program that was repeating on Sirius 100.  Rarely do I tune into any other channel on Sirius, as I really enjoy the Stern programming, but it is a rare occasion that I get to listen to a show in it's entirety, so being allowed a few extra moments today, was a gift, for lack of better terminology.

Howard was, like always, at the top of his game, this time ragging on the Tony Awards, which aired last night on CBS.  Howard praised Neil Patrick Harris, who hosted the event, as being fantastic.  Harris has been on the Stern program in the past and has always proved himself to be a great guest.  However, the rest of the Tony Awards, did not meet up to the notoriety that it's self-boasting tends to celebrate.  Howard proceeded to ridicule just about everything and everyone associated with the program, stating that he greatly disapproved of the pretentious attitudes displayed by the participants.  Even going so far as to poke fun at acting legend Bernadette Peters, who introduced an award using a high society sounding tone of voice and accent that greatly distanced her from where her roots lie.  "She's from f*ckin' Queens!" Howard chuckled.

Disappointed greatly in the awards show, Howard explained that he wanted to got to bed and watch True Blood, before turning in for the evening.  Howard works a very early time for his radio program, so late nights for the King of All Media, are a rarity.  Only he found himself with about twenty minutes to spare, before True Blood was to begin.  He could've continued to watch the Tony's, but he was so turned off by the behavior of "those theater types", that he opted instead to self-pleasure himself.

This is a subject that Howard speaks about quite often on his show.  He's a married man, with a beautiful wife and a healthy relationship, but sometimes a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do.  Besides, which his lovely wife was out of town.  So to his laptop he went.  

Howard is a huge proponent of the YouPorn website.  It's like YouTube, only with a more "colourful" catalog.  He also tends to lean towards watching "babysitter porn".  I've never seen it, but every time I hear about it, I think of the movie "The World According To Garp", starring Robin Williams.  I'm not sure if it's because he has sex with the babysitter in the movie or that other scene where his wife accidentally bites off the dick of a guy she was giving a hummer to in the driveway of her house.  Either way, the subject doesn't seem very appealing to me.  And it didn't seem to interest Howard either, though I'm sure it was for entirely different reasons.  He claims to have watched the same video over and over several times, so decided to look for a new subject.

The Howard Stern Program has had a lot of adult entertainers come visit the studio over the years and so he drew inspiration from one of his past guests, Little Lupe.  He typed her name into the search engine on the YouPorn site, but found nothing by her.  Some "artists" wish to retain their integrity and resent the free status that is YouPorn, just as some mainstream programs cannot be found on YouTube.   Instead of finding Little Lupe under the YouPorn site, a plethora of other "Little's" came to light, including Little Person porn, which is funny as hell to watch.  Bridget the Midget....  Ha ha....  I tells ya....  But Howard wanted nothing of the sort.  Instead he found something that sparked his attention.  "Little Tramp Has Sex For The First Time".

Howard began explaining the premise to his co-host, Robin Quivers and his audience, but I blocked it all out, laughing hysterically because I thought at first it was old sex footage of Charlie Chaplin, aka "The Little Tramp"...  Ha ha haaa....  Can you imagine?  I certainly did.  I laughed so hard, tears began to form in the corners of my eyes.  I continued to laugh as I crossed the parking lot, heading for my doctor's office and even as I approached the reception desk, I still had a stupid-ass grin on my face.  It was a perfect end to an otherwise troubling day.

Bad Touch

Seems that this Penn State fiasco is flooding the news reels as of late. The sex scandal in which one of the assistant coaches has been caught fornicating with children for the past fifteen or so years. This subject doesn't really affect me one way or the other, but after listening to the media banter back and forth on what should have been done, by whom, and when, I find myself, now, filled with some opinions on the matter.

Paterno, who up until just last week, had been coaching the Penn State Nittany Lions for close to fifty years. The man who holds records for the winning-most coach, with an astounding 409 victories, allegedly knew of the misconduct of his assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky, and some of the children who were in his charge. Subsequently, JoePa has been dismissed of his coaching duties, due to the black smudge he's put on the university. Although, when you look at all the details, it's been revealed that Coach Paterno did act within the guidelines that were in place for him for handling such misconduct. However, because the controversy is so blatantly wrong, he's going to be the fall guy for the entire scandal...

The scandal that erupted this past week, however, was the mention of then-graduate assistant, Mike McQueary, who'd reported to Coach Paterno, that he had walked in on Assistant Coach Jerry Sandusky who was at the time, sodomizing a young ten year old boy in the showers. Many have speculated as to why McQueary failed to stop the rape, even suggesting that if they were in his shoes, that they'd have charged Sandusky and not only removed him from the child, but would've assaulted him physically. I believe shock-jock, Howard Stern mentioned that he would've punched Sandusky's teeth down his throat.

It's tough to say what a person would or wouldn't do in such a situation. Everyone wants to believe that they're the tough guy who's going to save the day, but who can say for sure, how they're going to react to such a shocking discovery. I, myself, would have probably intervened, and likely would've gotten my ass kicked by the stocky naked guy with the boner. This, on the other hand, would've given the young victim ample time to flee to safety.

I can't speak for Mike McQueary, except for the fact that he is a ginger. Bright orange hair and little to no pigment in his skin. This is likely why he failed to intervene. There's no such thing as a tough ginger. Throughout history, no tough gingers. Even Richie Cunningham, though he'd gotten into a scuffle or two with Ralph Malph and Potsie, The Fonz was always there to bail their wimpy asses out. Even Ron had Harry and Hermione to save his ass on more than one occasion. So there you have it. Even in Hollywood, there's no fiction so unbelievable as the premise of a tough ginger. THAT is why Mike McQueary never stepped in.

Although I make light of some of what has transpired, I in no way condone the mistreatment of children, in ANY way, especially the sexual misconduct that transpired over the past few decades.

There's talk now that Joe Paterno's name will be erased from the record books and from the trophy's that align the halls of Penn State. This I disagree with. I don't think it's right to erase someone from existence just because of an oversight. I say "oversight", because the man is in his f*cking 80's. He's eighty-four f*cking years old. Try talking to your grandparents about an adult man, in a prestigious position in society, having sex with children. They'll never believe such a thing could occur. Even though they've been on the planet since dinosaurs ruled the earth, and know how f*cked the world can be, they will never believe someone who is well-respected in the public, could manage something so heinous. JoePa, is the same way. It's been speculated that the man has been losing his marbles for years. So why omit his memory, when his is already beginning to fade.