Don't Drink The Water

It used to be said: Don't drink the water.  That was in reference to anyone traveling south of the U.S. border.  Mexico was notoriously famous for having something wrong with their drinking water.  I can't remember what the end result was, as it's been decades since I've heard the reference, but I believe by drinking the water, you wind up with diarrhea.  That's pretty f*cked up, when the drinking water has a higher chance of giving you the runs, than the food.

California used to be a part of Mexico and though I've not been to The Golden State for a very long time, suffice it to say, if you're not drinking water out of a plastic recyclable bottle, you may be destined for some trouble.  Case and point: Miley Cyrus used to be a fine upstanding little girl.  A respectable role model for whom average little girls could look up to and aspire to be like.  She was a respectable celebrity with good morals, then all of a sudden... BLAM-O!! She's sticking out her tongue, shaking her ass and taking naked pictures of herself.  That wholesome little girl wasn't so wholesome, anymore.  I don't think "who*esome" is a word, but if it were, I'm sure we'd all be using it when referring to Miley Cyrus.

As a young teen, she portrayed the character Hannah Montana on the Disney program of the same name.  I've seen it.  It was mildly entertaining and silly, everything you'd expect a Disney show to be.  In an effort to shield herself from the hoards of screaming fans, Cyrus was a mild mannered, semi-unpopular teen, Miley Stewart, while in the evenings and weekends, she'd don a blonde wig, transforming her into Hannah Montana.  The character became so popular that in real life, Miley would entertain all over the world to crowds of screaming fans.  At the height of her popularity, even venturing out on a tour entitled: Hannah Montana Forever (pictured above left).

The fans knew Hannah Montana was Miley Cyrus, of course.  That was as obvious as Clark Kent being Superman, however I don't think Miley knew that, as the Disney series came to an end, so did the wholesome version of Miley Cyrus.  It's only been four years since Hannah Montana, but the crazy antics and public nudity of Miley Cyrus has become infamous.

Never failing to shock the public, Miley Cyrus, appeared just the other night, in Chicago, IL, performing a her songs, many of which came from the Hannah Montana era, wearing nothing but a strap-on dildo and a smile (pictured above right).  Even now, it was mentioned to me, yesterday, by a friend, that Miley Cyrus has announced that she'll be embarking on a new world tour, where it's suggested that she would not be the only person in attendance who would be naked, but that the crowds in attendance would be encouraged to be nude, as well.  "Is it going to be called, 'The Sausagefest Tour'?" I asked, believing that it will only be horny young boys and dirty old men, in attendance.  I would not want to be responsible for cleaning up the arena after that event.  The floor would be stickier than the floor of a movie theater.  I doubt, even a hazmat suit could protect anyone from...  Never mind.  I'm beginning to gross myself out...

So, take heed and be forewarned.  If you currently reside in Southern California or are planning to visit; DON'T DRINK THE WATER.  It made Randy Quaid go crazy.  Shia LeBeouf go mental.  Historically, it made Charles Manson go completely bat shit crazy-insane.  And it turned America's sweetheart, Miley Cyrus into a titty-flashing little skank.

HANNAH MONTANA FOREVER, huh?  Apparently our definitions of "forever", differ greatly...

Dumb Ass

I'm not a fan of Justin Bieber by any means.  I find him quite annoying and after seeing a video of him blowin' off a fan a couple of years ago, I've since thought of him as a prissy prick prima donna, citing "If it weren't for those fans, you'd be a f*ckin' nobody, lost somewhere in Canada.  However, with all that said and done, I gotta give credit where credit is due.

I'm in no way praising his musical prowess, as I doubt he's very musical, or able to sing very well.  I must take this opportunity to say, though, that I have no f*cking idea what the hell he sings, nor could I accurately identify any of his songs if I were to hear them on the radio. (Thank god for satellite radio and Howard Stern, for sparing me from hearing the waves of bubblegum shit that's considered "music" nowadays.)  I did see him perform on New Year's Eve, but thankfully the hosts of the party I was at, had the volume turned down, and I was only forced to see this self-indulgent little shit dance around like a cheerleader.  All that being said, I did say I was going to give "credit where credit was due"..

Credit where credit is due.  Actually, as it turns out, he's free and clear of receiving the credit or the blame for what happened (in his name) on New Year's Day.  Apparently, the pop star, overcompensating for his short stature, five foot six inches, owns a flashy new Ferrari, which was seen racing about the streets and freeways of Los Angeles.  Hot on it's tail was a paparazzi photographer with high hopes of catching the dwarf-like crooner in a compromising situation.  Sure enough, the CHP (California Highway Police) pulled the Italian sports car over.  Turns out neither the driver nor the co-pilot were Justin Bieber, but rather a couple of his douche bag coat tail riders who were out for a joyride.  Unbeknownst to the paparazzo who was bootin' it across the busy highway to get a better angle for his photograph, wound up getting schmucked by an oncoming automobile and killed.

So I've seen in the media and heard on the radio, that people are trying to blame Justin Bieber for this fool getting his ass rundown.  What the f*ck?!?  Motherf*ckin' Bieber wasn't even there!  Granted Bieber is useless as f*ck, but why blame the kid for someone else being a f*ckin' moron?  Over a f*cking picture of a kid getting a speeding ticket.  I've gotten more than my fair share of speeding tickets since getting my driver's license, and while I'm not saying I'm a teen pop star with whom all the kiddies wanna get with, if some stupid son-of-a-bitch got laid out by a Buick while I was stopped for a ticket, their death would not be my responsibility.  Nor should Bieber get blamed for this idiot's death.

The f*cker (photographer) should've known the risks of having such a cheese ball job and chasing after celebrities, so if the f*cker dies (which he did), then the f*cker dies.  It's as simple as that.  To quote yesterday's blog, "Que Sera Sera, Whatever will be, will be".  More simply put, if you're gonna be dumb, then chances are..., you're gonna die.  Dumbass!!!