Invinsible!

Earlier tonight, I ran an errand to my mother's house. Upon my return home, much of my trip was obscured by a dense fog. Simply came upon the northwestern section of the city, and came quite unexpectedly.

The fog was thick. Not so thick that I couldn't see the cars in the next lane, but thick enough to spark a memory regarding a similar fog that I came upon years ago. Way back when I still owned my 1986 Mercury Capri.

The car was very similar to the one pictured at left, only mine wasn't an RS, which meant it had a different front bumper and different rim package. The colour-scheme, however, is the same, as was the bubble rear window.

It was a foggy night, well past nine o'clock in the evening. There wasn't any snow on the ground, as there is tonight, but the fog was extremely thick. We, my car-mates and I, were running late, returning home from Regina, and needing to be back here in Toontown by 10pm. It was dark and dense, and I was running the little car at a top speed. Not exactly a safe practice in the best of conditions, let alone on a dark and foggy night.

I recall high-tailing it around a large curve in the road, then noticing a vague flashing of red lights. Having, up to this point, a lot of experience with being pulled over for a variety of reasons by our boys in blue, I knew that I was caught, and quickly turned onto the shoulder of the highway. The police constable walked up to my then openned window and proceeded to give me the riot act.

He explained that he and his partner were parked on a side road, because the thick fog had made it unsafe for road travel, when all-of-a-sudden, their radar went off. Alarmed because they weren't able to actually see a vehicle pass by, they immediately hit the lights, because it was obvious that someone was well on their way to killing themselves or worse. He explained that they kept travelling behind this mysterious vehicle until they were able to see my brake lights and signal to turn onto the road shoulder.

He took my license and registration, and returned after a short time, with a speeding ticket in hand. He cited me for the unsafe speeds, urging me to slow down before I killed somebody. He also pointed out that my driving with one burnt out headlight in such a weather anomaly, was downright insane. He never gave me a ticket for that, although he probably should have, giving me a warning instead.

I've not driven like that since. I'm not denying that my right foot doesn't get heavy from time to time. I've had more than a healthy helping of speeding tickets since that time, all those years ago. I do believe that if you're very familiar with your vehicle and know it's capabilities as well as your own, that sometimes one can get away with breaking a few speed laws here and there, but I've never taken it to such a large degree.

I think I'm a very good driver, and I've come to this conclusion because I know that I'm not the best driver on the road. But by simply acknowledging my shortcomings, I'm actually a step above all those f*cking idiots on the road who are convinced that they don't have any problems at all. One fact, above all else, is if someone claims to have 'never been in an accident', you have to wonder, how many accidents they've caused...

The funniest fact though, has got to be all the f*cking retards who have 4x4's, who believe that they can come out of any situation unscathed. It is during many snowstorms, here in the Toontown district, that I've witness the most unscrupulous accidents by those behind the wheel of these four-wheel drive bohemoths. Many many MANY vehicle rollovers. I just gotta shake my head and laugh, whispering to myself "F*cking idiots!!"

I should come clean about an earlier comment, where I stated that I don't drive like a fool in bad weather anymore. I did a couple of years ago. It was before I purchased my Honda Ridgeline. I'd gone into the dealership on a busy Saturday afternoon. I was given the keys to a Ridgeline demo, and was allowed to take it out for a test drive without the salesman. This was good because, in all honesty, he was a huge prick of a salesman, very pushy, plus I doubt he'd have let me drive the truck as hard and as fast as I did on that blustery winter day. The roads were quite icy and wind-swept, and I got this silver truck up to a whopping 160km/hr (approximately 100mph). That is until I chickened out, plus I was fast approaching a section of highway which, to this day, is still notorious for vehicular accidents causing bodily harm or sometimes death.

Rest assured, I don't drive my baby like that at all. It's got a lot of gallup under that hood, but these days, I think it's better to look good than to race about looking like a f*cking fag!

Have a nice day, folks!!!

And for Christ's sake... Slow the f*ck down out there!