My How Times Have Changed

In the last few days, I've been copying some of my old blogs from other sites. In doing so, I've been perusing and skimming over some of those writings, and some are okay, while others are down right terrible. One particular posting I happened upon, was one written a little over 5 years ago. And yes, I can't believe I've been doing this for that long either.

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This particular blog, was based on the concept of "love" and my theory of what that meant. I equated it to a wrestling move. More specifically, it was Jake "The Snake" Robert's devastating DDT. I explained how when the maneuver was first introduced, it was the most devastating move in wrestling up to that date. However, in the decades since, wrestlers are kicking out of DDT's left, right and center. The once dangerous move, is now as dangerous as a slobbering puppy dog.

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I equated love to this. That people drop the L-word, far too often, and for stupid shit like "Ooh. I love this song." Or, "Ooh, I love ice cream." My opinion of love remains the same for the most part. To love something or someone, means you can't see your life without that thing or person in it. I believe that people will live just fine without that song or ice cream.

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However, in reading the blog, I noticed also, that I didn't know what the f*ck I was talking about. How can someone who's never been in love, even write anything about love? It's like writing a book about proper child rearing, but having never been a parent. Where do they get the gall?

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It's been five years, almost to the date, since I wrote that. I can admit that infatuations have come and gone during that time, but only one has touched my life in such a way that I can't imagine my life without them. So much, that I even went out a month ago and purchased an engagement ring to propose marriage to this woman. But as the story goes. It was too little too late. She belongs to another now, and my heart can't be any more crushed than it is at this moment.

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In my life, I've managed to break my bones and tear the shit out of my muscles and none of those distresses can compare with the pain I have in my chest right now. I've read that "broken hearts never mend", and perhaps that is so. I hope it's not true.

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I have said that I couldn't see myself marrying anyone else. This is as true to me as I am sitting here tapping away on this computer. But you never know. Maybe ten years down the road... I'll have another chance... The times. They're always changing.