I am of the caucasoidal persuasion, therefore I'm confident that I can speak with some authority on this subject. Plus, for anyone who knows me quite well, you will already be familiar with the fact that I too, am no stranger to feats riddled with stupidity. So sit back and relax for a short spell and allow me to paint a mental image for you. A short story to properly convey the message I hope to pass on to all of you. Especially you "whities" who are in denial about the stupid shit that you're prone to do..
This story involves two kids in their late teens, early twenties. First year college age. There is a young woman. Let's call her Darlene. I don't know why. It's the first name that popped in my head.
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Darlene is nervous about going on a date with Chad. Chad plays for the school football team. He's got a letterman jacket, and thinks he's jack shit. Pretty much like all the athletes do at school. He acts all tough, but when he's around Darlene, he's a big softy.
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Chad picks up Darlene from her sorority house, in his Jeep. A decked out, raised douche-bag 4x4. He opens her door for her and they speed off shortly thereafter. There's a big party happening on campus, but the couple drive off to a nearby clearing, just off the main highway leading out of town.
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"No use showing up right away, Darlene," Chad explains, "Better if we show up fashionably late." Nervously, the shy Darlene smiles and nods in agreement.
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"Plus," he adds, "It gives us a chance to get better acquainted." He then smiles and leans in for a kiss. The two are exchanging wet kisses for a few minutes, when suddenly the passion is interupted by a loud squeal. A high-pitched, metal-on-metal screech. Like fingernails drug across a classroom chalk board, this painful sound cannot be ignored.
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The two adolescents stop what they're doing, listening to the ringing silence, hoping to hear the loud obnoxious sound once more, but praying at the same time that they don't. After a few moments, the two resume making out, when a second loud racket interupts them once more. This time, however, it sounds closer. Panicked, they look around into the darkness. Frantically wiping condensation from the cool glass and squinting their eyes in a desperate attempt to make out dulled shapes in the moonlit night.
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The night can play tricks on the mind's eye, especially when trees are dancing about, waving with the breeze. Convinced there's nothing foul afoot, Chad resumes his position hovering over a nervous Darlene. When another screeching noise erupts. This time, Chad is quite pissed at what is taking place outside his vehicle, and decides to be macho and step outside to confront the person or thing responsible for squashing his efforts to makeout with the stunning Darlene.
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He exits, leaving Darlene behind. The windows fogged over once more, she is unable to see where Chad has gone. At this point, she is deathly afraid. Not knowing if Chad and his friends are playing a cruel joke, or if there indeed is something afoul. She listens attentively, hearing nothing but the ringing in her ears, then suddenly there's a loud screech. Only this time it's not the metal-against-metal sound heard previously, but a blood gurgling scream of agony from the lungs of Chad. His carcus now thrust upon the hood, his deathly stare the only thing Darlene can see through the front window of the four-wheel drive Jeep.
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Chad is a dead motherf*cker!!! And why? Because stupidity was bread into him. White people are notorious for "investigating" what the f*ck is going on. Chad and Darlene, are out in the middle of nowhere, gettin' it on, when they heard a frightening noise. So instead of turning the key and getting the f*ck out of there. Chad decided to be a dumb bastard and go look at what was afoot. Now he's a dead dumb bastard. A statistic.
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Notwithstanding that all white people are exactly that f*cking stupid. As I said before, I'm of the caucasoidal persuasion, but I can testify to the fact that if I'm out in the woods with my girl, making out, and I hear a bone-chattering, metal-on-metal screech, like a sharp blade being drug across a traffic sign or metal gate, there ain't a chance in hell that I'm getting out of my vehicle to confront whoever is bored enough that they need to terrorize me and my gal. F*CK THAT! I'm switchin' that key and getting the f*ck out! I can read. I can read the newspaper and find out about some other dummy who was gutted for "investigating" what was afoot.
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I was inspired by an episode of "Supernatural" that I was watching minutes before coming upstairs to write this piece. The television show is on the WB (Warner Bros. Network). Come to think of it. Most of those scenarios of guys getting macho and stepping out of the car to confront the unknown, exist primarily in those American television shows and the movies. You don't see that shit very often in Canadian programs. Not to say I watch a lot of Canadian programs. Maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe because we have superior health care and education system in Canada, our youth are smart enough to not do stupid shit like that...
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Hmm... Nah! I'm a very smart person, myself, yet I'm guilty of doing a lot of other stupid shit. Nothing that would get my ass killed over, but a lot of stuff that's left my pride hunched over and bleeding in the corner.
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I'm not a fan of stupid people. I find them very difficult to relate to. Much like drunk people annoy me when I'm sober, only stupid people aren't drunk. They really don't have any excuse for their condition, other than they're stupid.
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However, there is one silver lining to stupidity. One should always try to look for even an inking of goodness in any situation, and yes. There is a grain of positivity in the condition of "stupidity".
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Stupidity isn't just restricted to the caucasian sect. Stupidity has no borders. Stupidity sees no colours. Anyone, despite their upbringing, country of origin, colour of their skin, religious beliefs or person credos, anyone and everyone has the potential to be stupid!!
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Need further proof? You Yankees voted for George W. Bush..., twice!
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