Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Functionally Dysfunctional


Christopher Titus explained something about his father in his "Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding" stand-up show. He told the audience about his father, Ken, who was an alcoholic. He told the audience that there was never a picture of his father without a beer in his hand. Birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or even Parent-Teacher meetings, Ken Titus was never without a drink in his hand. Pretty much any day that ended with a "Y", he had an alcoholic beverage in his hand. Titus went on to explain that his father also never missed a day of work, never missed paying any bills, and Christopher himself never went hungry. He said his father missed a meal or two, but Chris never did.
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Despite being a heavy drinker, he never missed work. He was always on time, did the job, and was paid for it. His employer never found fault with the guy. They probably felt that as long as it didn't affect his duties on the job, they could care less about what he chose to do with his life outside of work.
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I googled "Functional Alcoholic" and this is the result of my search. A "functional alcoholic" is described as a person who drinks frequently, but does not incur sufficient consequences that they should reduce, moderate or even stop their drinking. Of course, addiction "specialists" don't believe in the existence of functional alcoholics. An irony I will touch base on later in this periodical. Instead they believe that either a person is an alcoholic, or they don't consume enough that stopping on their own can't be done. Basically the world is black and white. Either you are or you are not. There is no middle ground.
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I come from an alcoholic family. My dad would go on binges. Generally, he was not the most pleasant of personalities, when under the influence. He did miss a day's work on occasion, but not often. He farmed and was quite capable of conducting this practice as well under the influence and he did sober. Eventually, however, the alcoholism did take it's toll on his health and he had to quit drinking. I remember this time, fairly well. I was relieved that I'd be getting my dad back. I think he may have relapsed only once, to my recollection, but soon he was sober. I don't recall him using A.A., either. I could be mistaken, but I'm fairly sure he just quit one day and that was that.
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I am not going to lie and say that I'm any different. I've had my battles with alcohol. Perhaps not to the Nth degree that some people have, my late-father included, but I did manage to hit a few lows in my life where I had to stand back and take an assessment of the path I was following. On those occasions when I decided to step back and not drink any further, I never needed outside assistance.
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A.A., to me, is simply a crutch. A tool that some people need to overcome a bad situation. It's like a foot injury. Some injuries are bad enough that you need a crutch to get back on your feet, others can simply be "walked off". I believe, that if a person is weak, then they need a "program" to hold their hand and lead them to success. Other people, I believe, can quit cold turkey. All it takes is a moment to decide, then logic and free will easily follows. If you can decide to make it so, then you can make it so. And yes, it IS as simple as that.
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Plus, A.A. is a spiritually backed program. It's users have to place themselves in the hands of a higher power. Like that verse "Footprints In The Sand", where God carries the speaker in times of weakness. I don't believe in any "higher power". I don't look down on those who do, but as for this moment, it's not my proverbial cup of tea.
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So to briefly address the Charlie Sheen situation, I believe him when he says he can stop using drugs and alcohol when he chooses to. Furthermore, I don't think the network should have been able to shut down the production of Sheen's TV show, based on what he chooses to do in his off-time. He always showed up for work, he always hit his marks, and he continued to make great television. As far as his "attack" on the show's creator, Chuck Lorre.., Chuck drew first blood, when he made an off colour remark at Charlie's expense, with one of his stupid vanity cards. (That retarded single frame blip at the end of his shows, that tells some stupid remark that is supposed make the viewer laugh, when all it really does, is make them feel ridiculous for pausing the VCR on that frame. -- Huge waste of time!!)
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I believe that people can quit drinking and doing drugs on their own. Admittedly, it may not always be the easiest thing to do in the world, but with a success rate of only 5% out of a hundred, A.A. shouldn't be boasting their qualifications either.
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As for whether or not Charlie Sheen has stopped his consumption of booze and drugs, isn't really my place to say. It's his world. His life. His money. His choice and his decision. No one else's. I don't think anyone should be saying anything about the situation. Mind your own business, people. You don't like it when anyone sticks their nose in your shit, so why stick it in his?
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Earlier, I mentioned that "addiction specialists" never believed in "functioning alcoholics". I found that remark very ironic, because most of these supposed specialists, believe in the "invisible man who lives in the clouds". Furthermore, I think it silly that with all the crap that's going on with the world today, that God would rather help someone stop drinking Jim Beam Bourbon Whisky. Maybe that IS why the world is going to Hell in a handbasket. God's efforts are being wasted on bullshit problems.
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The first step in overcoming any drawbacks like this, is recognizing you have a problem. However, if you're functioning just fine, in life, meeting all your responsibilities, then where's the problem? You're simply "Functionally Dysfunctional".

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